The Cost Of Happiness?

So I've spent the last few days celebrating the fact that, for once, things are going my way. I don't yet have a girlfriend, I'm not yet in America and I don't yet have a holiday booked for Jersey but that's not what I mean. For once in my life, I'm completely comfortable in my own skin and I'm happy with who I am. Something which will remain for a long time I hope!

But this is new for me. For most of my life I've tried to make sure everyone else is happy before I am. Often (in fact nearly always) at the cost of my own comfort and happiness. And although I'll continue to do that whenever I can, I can leave the happiness bit to one side. Because right now is an oasis of calm and joy in a normally depressing world.

Despite this, I've also realised over the past 48 hours that my happiness will also come at the cost of others' happiness. Something I'd rather didn't happen but is unavoidable. But it seems slightly strange doesn't it. I've always tried to make other people happy to any extent yet, when the tables turn, I feel guilty. It's odd.

I think it's accurate to say that I've upset a certain someone over the past 48 hours. And, although I'm incredibly sorry for doing it, I feel it was necessary in the long run. If I hadn't have done what I did, in my head, it would've created an impossible situation that wouldn't have benefited anyone in the long term. Nor would it have been fair on anyone involved due to reasons beyond anyone's control. I had to be honest for the situation to be resolved. The other persons involved were incredibly honest and so was I. Despite knowing that deep down it's probably not going to be completely resolved for a long while yet.  But that's something that I'm going to have to take in my stride when it happens.

I'm not happy with the fact I've upset someone majorly but, for what it's worth, it was the right thing in my mind.

And this blot on my happiness is not going to last forever. I know that sounds selfish but it's something to put aside as I return to uni and attempt to work on the next part of my 2014 plan. My cooking and my finances.

So what's the moral for this post?

There is a cost to your own happiness. And it's often someone elses. Sadly...