The Day Of The Doctor - Review (May Contain Spoilers!)

Ok. Now that I've calmed down from the weekend, I can write this without fan-boying again. Though, actually, on second thoughts, that might not be possible in the long term...

So. Saturday was probably the most important day in the history of living Whovians. Our favourite show and our Time Lord turned 50 years old and, my God, was there a celebration.

The fact is, not many TV shows can run for 50 years. In fact, I think the only drama to match it is Coronation Street which has been going slightly longer I think. But still, this was a day not to be missed if you were of the Whovian persuasion. I'm going to talk about my day and then move onto what I thought of the episode itself.

It started on my friend's sofa. I'd stayed round his the night in Southampton after going to see his band perform on the friday night. As I was seeing Who in Southampton anyway it made sense to crash. The band, Siberian Noise, did very well indeed and I was glad I went. I was woken by my friend Kayleigh, who accompanied me, in a Matt Smith outfit. Tweed, bow tie, fez. We chatted for a bit before I also got changed into my David Tennant outfit. My brown pinstripe suit felt so good when I put it on. I always feel good when I wear it and Saturday was no different. It was the one day I could wear it in public and get away with it because, even if you didn't watch it, you knew what day it was.

However, tragedy struck. I'd stupidly forgotten to pack my Brown Trench-coat the day before and it was still hanging in my wardrobe back in Winchester. I was gutted. The one day I should be wearing it and I completely forgot it. I couldn't go back to Winchester then because I had plans. So I had to hold back my sadness and carry on as per normal. Even though I was wearing the clothes of my Doctor, I felt kind of...naked.

Most of my day was spent with Kayleigh, my friend Millie and Kayleigh's friend Katie in Southampton. Gravitating around the West Quay shopping centre and christmas market surrounding it. It was a tad cold but I couldn't feel it. Kayleigh got many compliments while she paraded her fez around the city, whereas when I put it on I was confronted with "Shit! It's Tommy Cooper!"

"Fuck you..." I said under my breath.

The day seemed to go so slowly. It always does when you're looking forward to something. Especially when you've been waiting a whole year for it. The hours literally felt like days on saturday. But I was in good company so I didn't think much of it.

When the time came to meet Kayleigh's flat mates at the train station, people were still looking at us oddly. But we didn't care. We were Whovians. Why would we? It turns out the flat mates missed the train they were going to get, which meant waiting another half an hour or so at the train station. But again, good company.

When we all met up, it was time for Millie to go. I volunteered to walk her back into city centre so she could catch her bus. I wasn't comfortable with her walking on her own for some reason...But it was as we cut through West Quay that I had my first nice experience of the night.

We had just walked in when I saw, coming in the opposite direction, a little girl with her parents. They were all holding hands and they looked very happy. But the reason this little girl caught my eye was because she was wearing a little tweed jacket and a little blue bow tie. She was dressing up as Matt's Doctor. And she looked very good! It was quite sweet that she was happy to go out like that. She must have only been 5/6 but it was still sweet. As we came close to passing them, the little girl noticed me. She looked me up and down and realised who I was dressing up as. She must have been a bit confused. A grown up dressing as The Doctor? They do that? Anyway, she looked up at me and we just smiled at each other.

I realise how creepy that must look/sound, but it wasn't anything untoward. It was the fact that, even though there must have been nearly a whole lifetime between the pair of us, we were both dressing up for the same reason. And we both approved. It was nice to see that. The fact someone as young as she wanted to do that and take the time to appreciate the show. (In her own little way of course).

We got to the cinema a bit later on and waited in the warm until the screen was available to sit in. I noticed another little person dressed as Matt and thought it was sweet. (Same reasoning as the other little person). And we noticed a man of about 40 odd dressing as Eccleston. I resolved to get a photo with him after the episode but he eluded me. (Past regenerations do that). Surprisingly, I was the only person dressed as Tennant. Most people were 11. Actually, come to think of it, there were very few cosplayers. But everyone was very nice and there a kind of magic in the air. We were all there for the same reason. And it didn't matter who or what you were. It was nice to feel and see that sense of union even if it was only for a couple of hours.

OK. So. The episode.

There aren't many things about the episode I can fault. Overall, I think it was completely amazing. So much better than I thought it'd be, considering Moffat's track record, but it really was incredible. I was immediately pleased they'd used the title sequence from 1963. I thought that was a nice touch as well as the policeman walking past the sign for Totters Lane, then Coal Hill School. The going from black to white was a nice touch also as it was a large nod to the first few moments of the first serial "An Unearthly Child" by Anthony Coburn. Shortly after, I got a little bit worried when the scenes with the Tardis being picked up and the National Gallery started to jump about at speed but it soon levelled out again and settled in.

The first scenes of Arcadia and the Last Days Of The Time War were faultless. The Time War is the one thing that has eluded Whovians since the show's return 8 years ago and, finally, after years of waiting we got to see the fabled Time War. And where better to set it than against the backdrop of the Fall of Arcadia, first mentioned in 2006 by David Tennant in Doomsday.

"I was there at the fall of Arcadia. One day I might even come to terms with that..."

The first glimpse of the War Doctor in action showed him borrowing the gun of another Gallifreyan, shooting the wall to make the words "No More", before going back into the Tardis, breaking through another wall taking out a Dalek squadron and landing on a deserted part of, what is presumably, Gallifrey with 'The Moment'.

Tennant's first few scene show him being as hopeless as always, trying to work out whether Queen Elizabeth I is really a Zygon. He seems very sure she is after she accepts his marriage proposal, before realizing that it was not her at all. His first reaction being "I'm going to be King..." It soon involves more of Tennant doing the same old running trying to relocate the escaped Zygon across a copse and, after an embarrassing incident with a rabbit, he eventually finds 2 Elizabeths, both claiming to be the same woman. What is a man to do? It's at this point that a time fissure opens up and a Fez falls through...

Skipping the narrative for a little while, the first meeting between Tennant and Smith is nothing short of comic. Tennant doesn't yet realise that his future self has just fallen flat on his face through a time fissure and ends up realizing when they start comparing sonics. The whole thing was typically British as Matt happily demonstrates his sonic can extend longer. Also typically British, is Tennant's reponse.

"Compensating?"

The whole scene where they first meet is not entirely far from the meetings between Pertwee and Troughton. Smith keeping up his Troughton influence while Tennant attempts to remain level headed and the authority figure in the area. Something which quite clearly shows when they try to reverse the polarity, together.

"I'm reversing it and you're reversing it back. We're CONFUSING the polarity!"

Then comes Hurt...

The Doctors eventually learn to get along with one another and bring a stop to the Zygon's plan to take the Earth. (I'm not going to tell you how that ends. Watch it and decide for yourself).

The best part for me was when Hurt, Tennant and Smith gathered on Gallifrey for the Moment onwards. They are all prepared to detonate Gallifrey once more when Clara makes them think about what they're really doing. The alternative plan they come up with is incredible.

This next bit, was for me the defining moment of the entire episode.

The scene is the war room on Gallifrey. The General and Androgar are trying to deal with an increased Dalek assault while trying to contain them in the Sky Trenches above the Capitol on Gallifrey. It is here that the Three Doctors get in contact and unveil their plan to save Gallifrey. The General, not impressed there's 3 Doctors now in the picture, ridicules the plan and tells them it would take too long to make the calculations. This is where I melted.

If you read my last blog post about Who, you'll know that I had paranoid depression when the show came back and it was ultimately Doctor Who which saved me from doing something stupid. Whenever I heard the theme tune of the Tardis, I felt safe because I knew the Doctor would save me. I stopped believeing this many years ago when I grew up but at this moment, I felt like a ten year old again.


The moment when Hartnell appears, addressing the war council, followed by every other classic Doctor, I myself went back in time and regressed back to that first day I saw Doctor Who in 2005. I suddenly felt safe again. I believed again for one impossible moment that the Doctor would always save me like I did back then. Seeing and hearing every Doctor from the past 50 years made me feel safe. And I cried. I'll happily admit that. I suppose it was also relief as, up until that point, I didn't think the classics would get a mention at all. But all 12 Doctors teaming up, or should I say...13? Was something every die-hard Whovian wanted to see. And it was incredible seeing all 13 Tardis' going into the eye of the storm and take down the Daleks, together.

When all the goodbyes and everything happen and the end of the episode comes, and the Doctor finally realizes his new mission in life thanks to a rather mysterious and familiar face, the Doctor joins his 11 predecessors once more to a beautiful speech at the end.

"Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. 'Course I dream' I tell her. 'Everybody dreams'. 'But what do you dream about?' she'll ask. 'The same thing everybody dreams about' I tell her. 'I dream about where I'm going'. She always laughs at that. 'But you're not going anywhere. You're just wondering about!' That's not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone's. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going. Where I've always been going. Home...the long way round..."

That final shot when all 12 Doctors stand there triumphantly in the shadow of Gallifrey, it proved that the 50th had happened and that the story would continue. It was over. And my God was it worth waiting for. The whole cinema screen I was in clapped and cheered as loud as they could and I gladly joined them. It was everything we could've wanted and more.

Thank you everybody who worked on Doctor Who. It was Fantastic!

How To Handle Charity Representatives

So, although I like to think I'm quite a charitable person, I have a thing against charity representatives in the street.

I understand why they're doing it, I understand it might be a great cause but I don't agree with their methods. I don't agree with the fact they pull you out at random, give you their spiel and then ask for you contact details.

The amount of times female ones have asked for my number and I've had the urge to say "buy me a drink first" is staggering. But I always bite my tongue for some bizarre reason. Anyway.

Over the past year, I've had two incidents with these people that have stuck out in my mind. One of which happened just today, the other happened earlier this year. And to those who think this first story is made up, I wrote it down because, I'm actually quite proud of how it went. I'm re-writing it from where I wrote it down and changing the descriptions slightly but I promise all this was said.

Earlier this year, my mum and I took my Nan to the local city to go shopping. I had some time to kill so I decided I would walk across the city centre to HMV to see which Doctor Who DVDs they had that I could get as I had some money spare.

Now, thinking back on it, the reason I was picked out was totally my own fault. I was wearing black trousers, a white smart shirt and a black waistcoat. I stood out. A mistake I'll never make again. Anyway. The representative walked in front of me and said "May I say you're looking very smart and handsome today sir?" Considering not many men say this to me, I was cautious. "Thank you?" But it was too late. I was ensnared in the trap. And I was confronted by a man who wore a woolly hat in the style of a panda's head. My life would never be the same again.

He was from Friends Of The Earth and was telling me all about how deforestation was affecting the planet. I didn't mind this, it was the fact he promised to condense everything he wanted to say into a minute as I said I was late for something that annoyed me. Because 5 minutes later he was telling more about the Amazon than David Attenborough has in his lifetime. Eventually, he asked for personal details. Numbers etc so he could contact me about possibly donating to the cause.

At which point, I refused. "NO!" I said rather abruptly. I regained composure and said "I can't. I need to go. I REALLY need to go..." He then asked me where I was going.

Now, I try not to lie in life. But today, I just let me head go with it.

"I'm going to meet my girlfriend!"

I said, surprised as I was saying it. (I should probably point out I'd been single for a year at this stage and it was all a complete lie. Which I'll probably end up going to hell for but still...) The man smiled and started asking me questions.

"Ah! I see! Can't leave the lady waiting! What's her name?"

I don't think my mind's ever worked so fast...

"Angeline!"

"Angeline?"

"She's French..."

"Your girlfriend's French?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No, no. No reason".

I couldn't believe I was getting away with this. It seemed my imaginary French girlfriend, Angeline, may well be saving me from this awkwardness...

"Well...Is she into saving the planet?"

"Oh yeah. She does geography so she's into all that!"

"Maybe you could bring her here to talk to me?"

Another trap had been laid. Brain don't fail me now...

"I don't think that'd be appropriate!"

"Why?"

"Because...This date could save or end our relationship!"

Both of us looked confused as I said it. I realised the hole I was in and how deep it was getting. But I carried on...

"The truth is, due to circumstances outside my control, I was 2 hours late to our last date. Seeing a movie at the Odeon here. And she wasn't best pleased as I'm sure you could understand. She said 'If you're late again I'm giving up'. [I even said it in a French accent!] And I love her. I really do, and I don't want to be late again. So I really need to go..."

The man looked at me for a few moments before saying

"Ok, sir. I'll let you go. But you come visit me later won't you!"

"Of course"

We said goodbye and left. He carried on grabbing people in the street while I walked away with a big smile on my face. I couldn't quite believe what I'd said had worked. Merci Angeline.


The second story happened today in the city of Winchester. I was walking back from town with lots of shopping in hand having to cope with quite a steep hill. Anyway, I was stopped by a young woman on the High Street.

"Hello, sir. Do you have a moment?"

I immediately started thinking of Angeline.

"Yeah, sure!"

She went onto explain that she worked for a local charity which helps blind children intergrate into mainstream schooling. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a great cause and a wonderful idea, but I could see where this was headed.

After about a minute later, the lady asked the inevitable question.

"So could I have your contact number?"

"No. Sorry. I don't give out my number to strangers out of principle".

She didn't take this too well. She started asking how I was going to access their work online if I didn't give her my number. She even showed me a device of some description where she said:

"I won't even see your number".

"I don't doubt that, but all the same I'm sorry. Don't you have a card or something I could have?"

"Yes but we don't like giving out our cards as it costs us to".

This was a confusing statement but all the same.

After another minute or so of arguing, she eventually conceded and let me go. I wished her a good day and carried on.

I had barely walked 10 feet up the road before being snared by yet another.

"Hello, sir..."

"Seriously? Seriously? I've just been caught by your colleague there and I've said no. Sorry".

Then came the curveball.

"I'm different..."

"Oh. You're different? How so?"

"I'm a monk..."

I'm not sure what you can say to that really...

I stuck to my guns though and no one got my number this day. But keep an eye out people. They are everywhere.

And guys, if you get stuck and are single, just think of Angeline. She's an easy going girl and she doesn't mind you thinking of her...

What Doctor Who Means To Me - #SaveTheDay

You may have worked out by now that I'm a raging Whovian. And, in 9 days time, the Day of the Doctor will air at the same time right across the globe. A celebration worthy of a wonderful Time Lord who's been racing around our screens for 50 years. (With a sabbatical in-between).

But I wanted to take a few moments out of my researching for my new politics essay to just explain what Doctor Who means to me personally.

So there's this girl on my course. I shan't name her but she doesn't particularly like Doctor Who but she's obsessed with Merlin. (We have great sassy arguments about them. It's fun). And the one thing I often say to her is "I'm sorry, is Merlin celebrating 50 years this year?" Which is both childish and harsh I know. But it's the best thing I can say in that situation because, well, I take Doctor Who incredibly seriously. And to me, it's more than a TV show.

I had never heard of Doctor Who until a week before Christopher Eccleston made his fantastic (see what I did there) debut back in 2005. That being said, my mum claims we looked round the Doctor Who Exhibition at Longleat back in the 90s but I don't remember it sadly. I wanted to watch the show as it seemed pretty cool at the time and I resolved to. Mum proceeded to tell me the day before that Doctor Who had been around in her childhood and had been going since the 60s and for all intents and purposes, it was a very British show. She loved it growing up and it was a huge part of her formative years. The more I heard about it the more I wanted to watch it. If mum liked it, why wouldn't I?

Sadly, I missed the original broadcast of the 2005 episode 'Rose' as our car broke down on the way home from the cinema that night. We got back in at 7:46 and I missed the whole episode. I was gutted. The credits were rolling and I was rather upset. But didn't think anything of it at the time.

A week goes by and mum reminds me Doctor Who's on again. I sat down and watched it, not sure what to expect as I'd seen nothing of it. So my mind was completely open to what was coming. Then came 'The End Of The World'. An episode where the Doctor takes Rose to 5 billion years in the future to watch the Earth burn as the Sun expands. (Judging from the ending of the episode, I think Rose has had worse first dates...). I watched it eagerly and immediately fell in love with it. I loved how sarky the Doctor was and I loved how he was...different. I fell in love with the show. I was in love with Doctor Who.

I continued watching the show eagerly in the weeks that followed. 'The Unquiet Dead' was next with the Gelth. Gaseous creatures claiming to be benign but ended up being an evil invasion force coming out of Eve Myles in Victorian Cardiff. (God that sounds so wrong...) That was my first Doctor Who fright. The Gelth scared the shit out of me. As a 10 year old, the idea of ghosts made of gas fighting Charles Dickens was both brilliant and terrifying. Especially the zombies that came next.

Then game 'Aliens Of London' and 'World War III'. A two-parter which saw the Doctor challenge the ambition driven farters the Slitheen. This story didn't scare me so much but I remember staring in amazement as the Slitheen unzipped their forehead to reveal a cute, yet disgusting, alien beneath hell bent on melting the Earth for molten scrap. I fell more and more in love with the character of the Doctor as it became apparent he actually had no clue what he was doing. I liked that in him as well as his very dry humour. Being a 10 year old boy with Autism who couldn't quite grasp humour, the fact I understood what the Doctor was saying was a miracle in itself but still I watched with eager eyes.

Then would come my life-long fear. When I look back on this particular experience, I feel a bit like someone watching the first ever series in 1963 when they were confronted with the iconic Daleks for the first time. I'd come across Daleks before, but not in Doctor Who. I'd first seen them in the film 'Looney Tunes Back In Action' when it was revealed a Peter Cushing Dalek was a lab rat in the Area 52 facility run by 'Mother'. Anyway, the episode 'Dalek' was genius in itself. For people my age, we were made to feel sorry for the Daleks. Being the last one of its kind, just like The Doctor, yet the Doctor was being horrible to it. But then it became apparent what Daleks really do. And then I got scared. I remember as a 10 year old, seeing Rose touch that Dalek and watching it rebuild itself, that was terrifying! Suddenly the alien wasn't restrained and it was hell-bent on killing EVERYONE. That's scary.

The series goes on, Jagrafess, Reapers, Gas Mask Zombies (they still creep me out big time), Slitheen again until finally, the Daleks come back again. But en masse. Eccleston's final stories 'Bad Wolf' and 'The Parting Of The Ways' were the stories that stick out most in my head for the fear factor. Suddenly, there wasn't just one Dalek anymore. There was a whole army of Daleks, made of humans. Gulp. We're screwed.

I watched Eccleston's final story, 'The Parting Of The Ways' , over a friend's house. They hadn't seen Doctor Who much and didn't understand why I was currently in tears. Rose had been sent away and the Doctor, the man I'd idolised for this wonderful series, was sure to die. Then Rose came back but different, after looking into the heart of the Tardis, destroyed the Daleks, the emperor of the Daleks before nearly dying herself. Suddenly, all seemed well. But then the Doctor kissed Rose and absorbed the very time vortex that Rose absorbed. The confusion in my mind was incredible. To top it all off, we see the Doctor dying. He stands in the Tardis clutching his stomach before saying that he's dying but Time Lords 'have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death!' Suddenly, Eccleston explodes and, amongst this amazing spectacle and light show, appears David Tennant. My mind blew at this point. "Who the heck is this guy? And where's the Doctor?"

Christmas Day 2005, I watched Tennant's debut. I'll always remember the first few scenes with Jackie and Mickey hearing the roar of the Tardis and running out to try and find it. I felt safe hearing that Tardis. But imagine my surprise, as I'm sure you all were too when you first saw this, the Tardis comes out of the vortex, crashing into a Royal Mail van with that different man stepping out. But, by the end of the episode, I fell in love with David Tennant and I realised the Doctor hadn't gone. He was right here.

It was at this point mum started explaining the other Doctors. I was also finding them myself and I was shocked at what Doctor Who was as a show. How unique it was to Britain. how much it had impacted our society and what the show meant to so many people. Doctor Who had run, effectively, non-stop from 1963 until 1989. That for any show is impressive! With only shows like Coronation Street matching it. After realising this rich history and canon, I set about watching as many classic stories as I could. And, just like I had with Eccleston and Tennant, I fell in love with the classic Doctors. I couldn't believe the Doctor, the man I'd seen running about in a silly brown trenchcoat, once was a bitter old man, a dandy, the owner of a cute robot dog, an insanely long scarf and jelly babies, a cricketer and a stranger in San Francisco. It blew my mind how many different Doctors there had been. It was then that the show hit me even more.

Move forward 4 years and it was David Tennant's time to leave. People always say that they have 'their Doctor' or 'the Doctor I grew up with'. My mum's 'Doctor' was Jon Pertwee for example. But Tennant was my Doctor. He was like my strange older brother growing up who I always knew would be there to protect everyone and, to me, he WAS the Doctor. That the show really started with him. I know there were 9 other Doctors but he was the one true Doctor. When I heard he was leaving, I was devestated and I dreaded his regeneration scene, which was inevitable.

I felt this all the way through 2010. 'Planet of the Dead', 'Waters Of Mars', 2 more to go, until finally, on january 1st 2010, David Tennant regenerated. I cried 4 times during that episode and I cried most after he said "I don't want to go..." (I'm filling up even as I write that...) It's at this point I say my childhood ended. As Tennant left, so did my younger self. But all was not lost, Matt Smith took over and I fell in love with him from the first 'Geronimo'.

So where does that leave me now? Well, we're 9 days away from the long-awaited 50th anniversary and The Day Of The Doctor. What will I do with it? I'm going to see it in 3D at a local cinema with a friend, while dressing up as David Tennant's Doctor. I'm 19 and I still dress up as a strange Time Lord flying around in a Police Box. I'm never going to grow up am I...

But while I'll have these arguments with that Merlin fan friend of mine, there's one thing she'll never understand about my undying love for Doctor Who. Unless she reads this of course...But Doctor Who effectively saved me.

A year before Doctor Who returned to our screens, I was diagnosed with paranoid depression. It was set off in 2004 when it was reported that a large asteroid would pass close to Earth on March 21st 2014. (Oh shit...) But, in true media tradition, they couldn't help but illustrate this news with scenes from Armageddon and Deep Impact amongst others. In my 9 year old brain, this scared the living hell out of me and it just got worse. I was seeing psychiatrists and everything. I had various methods of calming myself if this kind of news ever appeared again but nothing really worked long term. But then, seemingly out of no-where, this wonderful man appears on my television screen with the sole purpose of helping anyone and everyone in danger and doing his best to save them. When you're 10 and have paranoid depression, this has a very calming effect on you. For a few years, I believed that the Doctor wouldn't let that asteroid hit the Earth because he loved the Earth too much. I believed that the Doctor wouldn't let the human race die. He wouldn't let me die...

Not only that, I came up with another coping strategy, which I still use today. Most of my personality comes from the Doctor in his various forms. Even though Tennant will always be my Doctor, I identify most with the Eight Doctor Paul McGann. I have a lot of his traits but my personality derives from an amalgam of all of them depending on my mood. It's a coping strategy that, for 9 years of my life, has worked remarkably well. Give or take a few certain periods of weirdness. As a matter of fact, because of all these things, some people have even resorted to calling me 'Doctor'. (I gotta say, I quite like that...)

So that's what it means to me. And it will mean this much to me on my death bed too. Because it's at that point that I can finally accept that the Doctor won't save me.

Doctor Who may not be real, but it's real enough for me to believe in it and the ideals behind it. I'll show it to my kids and, if they don't like it, that's cool. As long as they accept their dad will always be a raging Whovian. But it'll always mean that much to me. No matter what happens. I'll travel with the Doctor as long as he travels.

So, until the next time I write something, ALLONS-Y!

My Songs In Prose: Episode 1 - Bedtime Routine

So the other night, I was putting my daughter, Molly, to bed. It was a fairly normal night. Clean teeth, wash face, snuggle in, read story, sing a song to her, kiss her forehead and turn off the light. On this particular night however, Molly had stayed up and watched an old Attenborough documentary with my wife and I. It was Planet Earth and had loads of different animals on it which she rather enjoyed. The perfect thing for a curious 5 year old to watch.

Anyway. I went upstairs with her to go through the whole bedroom routine but this night she was asking question after question after question. She couldn't help it bless her but all the same it was rather annoying after a while. She asked all the way through cleaning her teeth, washing her face and the snuggling in. Eventually, enough was enough. I told her that there was no more time for questions. She disputed this claim and asked why. "Because you've got school tomorrow!" I replied. "And if you don't go to sleep now you'll wake up late!"

She seemed to accept this notion but still asked questions. I eventually had to tell a little white lie and tell her that I didn't have any more answers. It was time for her to sleep. She asked me to read her a story but I suggested that seeing the documentary was better than a story because she'll have awesome dreams about the animals. She accepted this too. But said that mummy have to read her a story tomorrow night to make up for it. We agreed on this.

As I went to turn out the light, she started telling me that she was scared of the lions that she'd seen on the telly and thought one was going to appear from under the bed to gobble her up. So I obliged in checking under her bed to make sure no lion was hiding under there. "There we are, now you won't have a nightmare because I've scared it away!" She seemed content with this and wrapped the duvet around her.

I always find it cute when she wraps herself in her duvet. Something about it just makes me smile and realise how lucky I am to have her, my wife and my second daughter, Mackenzie. Just in that moment it always happens. And I kind of think she knows I find it cute so she does it on purpose. I don't know. But she's daddy's little girl. They both are really. But as always, I told her I'd have to go now as I have to make sure Mummy doesn't sneakily put on something weird like DIY SOS or something. So I said I'd see her in the morning along with the rising sun. I'm a teacher, so I get up early as does she. So it's a literal thing.

Because of the excitement of staying up past her bedtime, seeing all the animals and the questions she'd been doing, she tried to get me to sing a song instead of leaving. But I just wanted to spend time with my wife to be honest. I said to her "Mol, you have a voice of an angel like no-one's ever had before. But you've definitely got my stubbornness. You need to go to sleep now!" I try not to be firm with her as it doesn't help either of us. But I do lay down some authority. She eventually conceded and settled down for bed.

I looked at her one last time before turning the light off and closing the door slightly. I feel slightly better knowing she's in her room and sleeping because I feel like I've done my job properly. It makes me feel good knowing that bedtime has gone well. It's not long now until the wife and I hit the hay as well. But until that time...

When my wife and I go to bed a few hours after, we both just look in on both of them to make sure they're asleep. We're good parents. We can tell if they're trying to convince us that they're asleep but they're actually. Neither of them were doing it on this particular night. My wife and I look at each other when we see them and smile. Neither of us want them to grow up. We want them to stay just the way they are. We know that's impossible but all the same. We'll always be here to help them that's for sure. Pick them up when they're down but we'd prefer it if they never grew up. I dread the day they bring their first boyfriend home. Or girl. I don't judge and I don't care what they choose to do in that department.

But they'll always be my little girls...

Six Months Go By... (Final Chapter)

Six months had passed since Jackie and Jill's date. And six months more of longing had eaten away at Aisha. She was still totally convinced they'd never be together but she always hoped. Because, for the most part, hope is all she'd had left. The past six months had been eventful for both Jackie and Aisha as well as agonizing.

Jackie and Jill were now together and had been for about 5 months. Which was good. Jill was a slight improvement on Jackie's other girls he'd brought home but, as far as Aisha was concerned, she was still a total bitch.

Apart from this, Aisha had remained single. Sure she went out to try and meet people, even bought a couple of guys home over the period, but nothing serious. And whatever she tried, nothing worked. She couldn't get Jackie out of her head. For better or for worse, she loved Jackie. And probably always would.

Then, the totally unexpected happened. Jackie and Aisha spent the night. Jackie and Jill had a massive argument one night after it was rumored that Jill had cheated on Jackie with another guy and, in both anger and sadness, turned to Aisha for support. The phrase "one thing led to another" is over-used these days but that's what happened. And it was the best night Aisha had ever had at the time. But then the confusion started.

Aisha's mind went into overdrive with confusion. She'd slept with the guy she loved...but had no idea if it meant anything or not. She knew full well it was likely not to have meant anything but she couldn't help but hope a little more. 90% of her felt used, dirty and like a whore but 10% had hope. And that's all she needed.

Jackie however, also had confusion. You may not have thought it but it shook Jackie too. He was guilty because, even if Jill cheated on him or not, he'd cheated on her. But he wasn't sure how to approach it. He was lost in himself. And he had to make a painful choice...

So to the present day.

Aisha is in the flat all alone. She's eating Ben&Jerry's while watching EastEnders still feeling sad and confused about what had happened a few weeks earlier. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"Not in". She shouts towards it.

The knocking continues.

"IM.NOT.IN" She said very sternly again.

The knocking continues. Aisha eventually concedes and walks towards it. She groans as she does. She opens it to see Jackie standing there in the cold December night. They look at each other confused.

"Hey, Aisha".

"What the hell? You have a key don't you?"

"Yeah but I haven't used it in a while. I wasn't sure if I was still welcome here..."

Aisha chuckled sarcastically. She stands out of his way.

"It's your flat..."

The atmosphere is incredibly frosty between them but still they continue chatting. Jackie comes in and takes his coat off as well as the bag he's been carrying.

"How have you been?"

Aisha looked up angrily.

"Don't you even dare...you know exactly how I am! We haven't spoken in 3 weeks and I've been falling apart here so don't you dare ask me how I am!"

"I'm concerned!"

"You weren't that concerned the morning you left".

"I didn't know what to do. I wasn't expecting that to happen".

Aisha wasn't having any of it.

"Oh didn't you? Well it sure seemed like you were angling for it!"

"Aisha, I promise you I wasn't".

"How can I believe anything you say? Do you know how I felt after you left? I didn't mind the fact we'd done what we'd done! Because..."

Jackie looked confused.

"...It doesn't matter. But I felt like a whore! I felt used, dirty and...and...decrepit! I felt like a rag doll tossed aside like its use had expired".

"I'm...I'm...Aisha I'm so sorry..."

Jackie looked like he was trying to say something to her but Aisha wasn't having any of it.

"Don't be. I learnt from that mistake. It's a mistake I intend not to repeat believe me!"

"Aisha..."

"So just do what you need to do. But just so you know...I'm moving out!"

"Oh come on, that's a bit drastic isn't it?"

"DRASTIC? Jackie, I don't feel comfortable living under the same roof as you anymore!"

"Aisha..."

"Because what happened really got to me! It got to me so much but I can't do this anymore!"

"Aisha..."

"And I'm assuming Jill doesn't know? I'm assuming you've kept that well hidden. Well don't worry. I won't say a word. I'll stay well away from you in future..."

Jackie had had enough.

"AISHA! WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR JUST ONE MOMENT!"

Aisha was taken aback by the outburst, but soon regained decorum and humored him.

"Aisha, I've just come back from Jill's. And I've brought everything back. That's what the bag is. Everything".

Aisha looks at him confused.

"I don't understand..."

"Jill and I have broken up. I've brought everything back here. Jill and I won't be seeing each other any more".

Aisha isn't sure how to take the news.

"Well...why have you two broken up?"

Jackie takes a deep breath.

"I told her what happened. I told her what happened with us. And, understandably, she went ape-shit. Then I broke up with her".

Aisha looks confused.

"YOU broke up with HER?"

"Yes. Because, I realised something".

"What? That you'd screwed two lives over?"

"No. I realised something that, thinking back, I've known for a long time. Something I've wanted to say but have never had the courage to until now".

"And what's that?"

Jackie freezes.

"I don't want to say it..."

Aisha had just about had enough.

"Well if you're going to be a fucking coward and not be honest with me then screw you..."

"Aisha..."

"No. It's cool. Whatever you've realised I hope it serves you well!"

Aisha starts to walk away...

"I LOVE YOU!"

Aisha freezes. She stops for a moment and turns around to look at him. Jackie is shaking with nerves.

"What did you just say?"

"Aisha...I love you. And I think I always have done. But I was too afraid to say it because we were friends and I wasn't sure how you felt about me. So I stayed quiet all this time".

Aisha walks back into the room, holding her gaze at him.

"You're lying..."

"I'm not. I promise you I'm not. I love you more than anything in this world. And I've hurt you. I realise that but I'm so sorry. I love you..."

Aisha still wasn't sure.

"I...I..."

Jackie was waiting.

"I...I love you too...I have done for ages..."

Jackie smiled. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly!"

Jackie smiled even more. He was overjoyed. He couldn't believe the two of them had waited this long for it all to come out. Jackie moved over to Aisha and moved close to her. Aisha didn't put up any contest. He leaned in and kissed her. That was it. The first proper kiss they'd shared. No complications, no consequences, no nothing. It was a nice kiss. It was the best they'd ever had. And that was that. The rest was history.

And they lived happily ever after.

Oh, I've forgotten one thing.

As they kissed on the sofa shortly after the protestations, Aisha smiled at Jackie.

"There's something I need to tell you..."

"What is it?"

She chuckles. She's nervously chuckling. She in fact has no idea how to say what she needs to say next. So she just says it.

"I'm pregnant..."

Jackie looks shocked.

"Excuse me?"


THE END

Tumblr (A Kids Story About The Importance Of Feels)

"Are you sitting comfortably, Molly?"

"Yes, Daddy"

"Good. Then I'll begin. Which story would you like me to read to you tonight?"

"Ummmm...a new one?"

"A new one?"

"Yeah! A new one!"

"Well, I don't know many more..."

"Make one up! Please Daddy?"

"Ok. Because it's you. But we mustn't wake Mummy or Mackenzie!"

"Ok!"

"Ok...let me think...I know...I know one that will make you laugh, make you cry...but will scare you a bit too..."

"Uh oh..."

The Tumblr by Joshua Frampton (with some help from Molly)

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. Let's call her...oh...I don't know...Alice...

"No, Daddy. Alice is in Wonderland!"

"Oh ok, well...what shall we call her?"

"Molly!"

"But that's your name...we can't use YOUR name! Can we?"

"Yeah! Please Daddy?"

"Ok. On your own head be it..."

Once upon a time, there was a little girl and she was called Molly. She was a very happy girl and did everything she wanted to do. She went to school, she saw her friends, learnt about LOTS and LOTS of cool stuff and ate...ummmm...peanut butter sandwiches!

"Eurgh!"

"Work with me here, sweetie".

But Molly liked something else. One thing she loved more than her friends, more than school, more than peanut butter sandwiches, even more than her Mummy and Daddy! And that was television. She loved all kinds of tv shows! Because each one was like a little story where she could run away for a while and forget about everything. But these weren't ordinary TV shows!

"No?"

No they weren't. Because these shows had something not many other shows did! And they were called 'Fandoms'.

"Fandoms? What are they?!"

Fandoms were groups of people who like a certain TV show. Normally, people stick to just one. But Molly was one of the awesome people who could move into different ones because she loved so many different shows! She didn't like every single one but she loved loads! Her favourite shows were...Doctor Who...

"Yay!"

...Merlin...

"Yay!"

...Sherlock...

"Huh?"

...Supernatural...

"Daddy..."

"Yes?"

"I don't know those..."

"I know you don't. But the Molly in the story does!"

But she loved numerous different fandoms. Molly and her friends would talk all day about the programmes. 'Oh did you see the new episode of Doctor Who? The Daleks were back! AND the Weeping Angels!'

"No Daddy...not the Angels!"

"Yes! The Angels!"

And they would talk about it for hours and hours. They enjoyed watching the shows because it gave them emotions they don't normally use in real life. 

"Do you know what emotions they could use watching the shows?"

"Ummmmm...happy?"

"Happy. Definitely."

"Ummmm...anger?"

"Anger?"

"Yeah! Because, people will get angry if the show is left on a...left on a...hanging cliff!"

"Haha. Ok. Anger. But other emotions such as sad, confused and surprise!"

But, one day, something would happen that would change them all.

"What is it, Daddy?"

"Well I haven't got to that bit yet..."

One day, they were talking about their favourite TV shows in school, when suddenly, a boy appeared!

"A boy? Eww!"

"Oh sweetie...stay 5 forever..."

A boy appeared! He came over to the girls and started talking to them. He knew about the same TV shows too! He was a big Doctor Who fan too and he was also part of the fandom. 'Did you like the last episode?' He asked. 'Yeah!' Molly replied. 'I did! The Angels scare the heebie jeebies out of me!' 'Yeah and me' the boy replied. 'Mind you', he said, 'I missed the episode originally, I saw parts of it on Tumblr!'

"Tumblr?"

"Uh huh!"

'Tumblr?!' Molly asked, 'what's Tumblr?' 'Tumblr', he said, 'it's a website where people share stuff about their favourite tv shows, films and stuff!' The girls all looked at each other. 'That sounds like a good idea!' Molly said. 'I might start to use it!'

"Uh oh..."

"Uh oh indeed..."

So that night, Molly went home, spoke to her mummy and daddy, spoke to her little sister, then went to her bedroom. When she got into her bedroom, she went on the computer!

"No..."

"No?"

"I can't go on the computer in my room! I don't have one!"

"Yeah...get used to that..."

She went on the computer and typed 'Tumblr' into Google. It came up as the first result, so she clicked it. Suddenly, her screen filled with...with...EVERYTHING!"

"EVERYTHING?"

"Ssssh...mummy and Mackenzie..."

"Sorry..."

She saw EVERYTHING she could possibly want to do with her favourite shows. Pictures, videos, GIFS...

"GIFS?"

"Magical things..."

"Tumblr has magic? It's a computer thing!"

"Who's telling this story?"

"You. But computers aren't magic!"

"They are tonight, sweetie..."

She looked around the site for ages and looked at everything she could find. It was like a pot of gold! She saw lots of things from her favourite TV shows. Lots of pictures and GIFS from Doctor Who, Merlin, lots of different things! She laughed for ages. And, at first, she seemed to enjoy checking the site out. She stayed on it for most of the night. Way past her bedtime!"

"I'd never do that, Daddy..."

"Oh give it time..."

She went to school the next day and told her friends about the wonder of Tumblr. All the things they'd seen and how they were going to go back on it that night. And they did. Molly came in, spoke to mum and dad, little sister, then went on the computer. Back onto Tumblr. And that's when things started to go horribly wrong...

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes..."

The pictures she saw yesterday were still there...but so were some others. But these new pictures weren't happy or funny...they were sad. They gave things away about the next episode! And they showed things that happened that made Molly very sad...

"Oh no..."

She kept looking through but all she saw was sad images. Like, The Doctor and Rose saying goodbye, Arthur dying...

"Arthur dies?"

"Huh?"

"Arthur dies?"

"Ummmm...no...That's just what the images showed..."

Suddenly, Molly started to feel sad all over again! She was sad when she first saw the show but now she was sad all over again over the same thing! Tumblr had turned on her! She realised that Tumblr wasn't a wonderful site...but it was PURE EVIL!

"Evil?"

Evil. Worse than any witch in any story. Worse than Morgana, worse than the Daleks! Pure evil. And Molly had been sucked in by it! She soon started to realise the Tumblr was really an evil thing that fed on her tears! And the tears of every other young girl who liked tv shows like Doctor Who and Merlin! Because everyone has a little thing in them called 'Feels'. And this, along with the tears, is what the evil Tumblr fed on. It sucked the feels out of her and ate it so that it filled it's big evil belly. Because Molly wasn't the only person whose feels it had eaten! It had eaten hundreds of people's feels! It was Tumblr's main diet!

"Molly's losed her feels?"

Molly had lost her feels. And she needed to get them back! Or else she'd never be able to watch another tv show again!

"Oh no!"

She had to get her feels back somehow. So she called out to all of the other people across Tumblr. 'Help!' she screamed. 'My feels have gone! Help me!' But no-one answered. And it seemed like her feels had gone for good. 

"No! Molly needs her feels!"

"I know!"

But suddenly, something wonderful happened. Someone came to her rescue. Somebody sent her a video. She opened it with caution...in case it was another evil trick by Tumblr to finish her off!

"What was it, Daddy?"

"Wait and see..."

She opened the video...and it was the best thing she'd ever seen.

"What was it?!"

It was a video of a kitten that looks surprised! She kept watching right until the end and she started to cry with happiness as it was SOOOOOOOOO cute. And that's when Tumblr started to fade...Tumblr knew it had been beaten. The sight of a cute kitten was too much for it and it went away.

"It went away?"

"It went away".

Molly, realizing her feels had been saved, turned off the computer and never went on Tumblr again. The End.

"So...kittens saved Molly?"

"Indeed they did! Cute little soft kitties save Molly's feels!"

"Yay!"

"Anyway, sweetie, it's time for you to go to sleep! I've sung you your lullaby, i've told you a story and now it's time for you to sleep. Ok?"

"Ok."

"All tucked in?"

"Yep. Ok. Give us a kiss then! There we are. Sleep tight Molly. Love you!"

"Love you too, Daddy!"

"Night, sweetie".

"Oh, Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Tumblr real?"

"Yes it is. Why?"

"I'm never using it. I want to keep my feels..."

"Haha. Good girl. Night Molly..."

THE END

Letter To Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley Cyrus.

How are you? Honestly? Because, I'm a little bit worried. You're 20 years old and already you've become a celebrity emotional wreck. Not as bad as Lindsay Lohan perhaps but you're very close to it. Is there something you wish to talk about? Something you need to get off your chest?

It's just that, like I said before, you're 20 years old. And you're acting like a really sexually repressed 17 year old. I know that you're young and you're supposed to make mistakes and stuff but, to be quite frank, you're having so much fun that even Cyndi Lauper has become disillusioned.

Not only that, you've been very rude to people who have shown you concern. Sinead O'Connor for example. Dear Sinead is a beautiful woman who is rather concerned at what you're doing and I indeed share her concern as someone round about your age. She tried to extend the hand of friendship to you and you threw it back at her face in a truly surprising manner. Was that really on, Miley? Honestly?

I'm 19. I'm not a dad yet. But one day I hope to be. But I've completed volunteer work at my local primary school on and off for 4 years and have been around young girls who are looking for popular role models. And, admittedly, I finished working with them before your, safe to say, controversial performance alongside Mr Thicke at the EMAs this year, but I still felt that the role models they were telling me about were all wrong. Now, I don't judge people out of principle, but I cannot accept people who use sex, or exploit sex, as a way to gain fame.

These kids were mostly saying Nicki Minaj was a role model and I was horrified. But I can only imagine how many children must look up to you and think "Yeah...she's pretty cool! I wanna be like her!" Because it must happen somewhere! Law of averages. My best friend's little sister looks up to you for some bizarre reason and, I must say, I am concerned for her welfare in the future.

With this in mind, what must your dad think of what you're doing? I've never met your dad, nor am I likely to, but isn't he horrified? Isn't he flabbergastered or confused at what you're doing? I know I would be! I don't care if your dad is famous in any capacity I'd imagine he doesn't approve of what you're doing surely? If you were my daughter and made a video like you did with Wrecking Ball I would be incredibly disappointed in you.

As a song, Wrecking Ball isn't bad. Musically it's pretty good and I like it. But that video? Seriously? Me being me, the first time I saw it I thought "God I bet her arse was cold on that ball" but after being exposed to it more and more thanks to the media, I started to think that it was wholly wrong. Admittedly, you are not the start of this problem as the sexualisation of Western culture has been a concern for many years. If you can imagine how many people were horrified to see the video to Bjork's song 'All Is Full Of Love', imagine how many people reacted to see seeing you straddling on something from a construction site?

The truth is Miley, you're being used. You're being exploited for money. The record label are using the fact that you are an attractive young woman and they're making you sell your soul just so they can make a quick buck. Everyone else can see. It's just a shame you can't right now.

But let me round off by asking you one more question. It goes back to parenthood.

If you ever have children, let's say a daughter for arguments sake, and she did everything you've done and possibly more the way things are going, would you be proud of her? Would you be happy with the choices she's made? Would you hug her and say "that's my girl!" or would actually show some concern?

All I ask is that you please think about what you're doing. Think about where you're heading and how many people are going to try and follow you into that downward spiral. You have a huge following across the world which puts you in a unique position to change things. If you stood up and said "No, this is wrong" then so many people would listen to you and start to respect you again. If you were the first of a massive domino effect then think about what kind of legacy that will leave? Do you honestly want people to remember you for this chapter of your life or do you want to be remembered for something more?

Think about it.

Yours sincerely

A concerned Brit.

25 Really Weird Facts To Remember If You Feel Really Down

So, a dear friend of mine was down recently. And in an attempt to cheer her up, I decided to make a delightfully ridiculous video about weird facts to think of when you're down. As far as I know, it worked to some effect. So I got thinking. How many other weird facts are there that are quite funny?

So I've attempted to find some. Enjoy.



1. It is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a murder in New Jersey. [Yup]

2. Honey is the only food that will not rot. A jar of honey is estimated to be edible for 3000 years.

3. Before trees were common, the Earth was covered by giant mushrooms. [Stir fry anyone?]

4. American President Lyndon B Johnson owned an amphibious car. He used to scare visitors with it by driving into a lake screaming about brake failure.

5. A man called Lawrence Anthony gained notoriety around the world by calling himself 'The Elephant Whisperer'. When he died in 2012, a whole herd of elephants arrived at his house to mourn him.

6. Crocodiles cannot stick out their tongues.

7. A duck's quack cannot echo.

8. Roald Dahl, the famous children's author, used to seduce women to gain intelligence during World War II.

9. Dolly Parton once entered a competition for Dolly Parton lookalikes. She lost to a man in drag.

10. In 1967, a magazine published a fake article explaining how you could extract hallucinogens from bananas in an effort to get people to ban drugs. Many people didn't realise it was a hoax and started smoking bananas. [This would radically change Despicable Me were it true].

11. The first anti-smoking campaign in history was commissioned by Adolf Hitler.

12. Staying with Hitler for a moment, there's evidence to suggest that Hitler's first love was in fact a Jewish woman.

13. Over a period of 200 years, 3 ships sank at the same location off the coast of Wales, each sinking on the December 5th of their respective years, all 3 ships had only one survivor. And each survivor shared the name Hugh Williams. [Yup].

14. The elderly couple who lay in bed as the Titanic sinks in the 90s film is true. Not only that, they were the founders and owners of the popular American clothing shop chain 'Macy's'.

15. There is a Danish road sign which says 'Fartkontrol'. It actually means 'Check your speed'.

16. Albert Einstein never wore socks.

17. It's illegal to be overweight/fat in Japan.

18. May in America is also 'Zombie Awareness Month'.

19. When you lie, the temperature of your nose rises. This is known as 'The Pinocchio Effect'.

20. The TV Channel Animal Planet made two fake documentaries about the existence of mermaids. A high proportion of people fell for both.

21. The weird language the minions of 'Despicable Me' speak is a real language. It's called 'Minionese' and it was created by the director.

22. If the events at the start of Finding Nemo really happened, Nemo's father will have developed female genitalia and would form a sexual relationship with Nemo.

23. Johnny Depp once responded to a letter from a young fan requesting help from escaping from their school by turning up at the school, dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.

24. Throughout the movie 'The Silence of the Lambs', Anthony Hopkins does not blink.

And finally,

25.If you arrange the first letters of all of the main's characters first names in Inception, it will spell 'Dreams'.



Hope you enjoyed that. See ya!

My Light In The Dark

As many people know, (or may not know), I'm a musician. It's one of my main passions in life and I take it VERY very seriously. So much so, it's my light in the dark. (I'll explain what this means later on).

But people often ask me how I write songs. Why I write songs and when I write songs. So, in this blog post I hope to address these questions in the most honest way I can.

How I write a song depends entirely on what kind of song I want to write. I wrote my first proper song when I was about 12/13 and it was called "Love Is (The Hardest Word To Say)" and it is, quite frankly, the worst song I've ever written. I wrote it completely by accident outside Gillingham Town Library one afternoon after I was waiting outside for a friend. He asked me to look after his guitar and, I thought, I'd play it. Even though I hadn't really tried guitar before. I came up with a simple chord progression with 3 chords (E, A and B I seem to remember) and I rather enjoyed it so I took up guitar and carried on.

I should probably point out I don't play Love Is anymore...thank goodness...

Up until this point, I've tended to follow one genre or a variation of it and that's rock music. Obviously when I was in Black Heart and Against The Tide [the bands I was in for 3 years. They're the same band effectively] that was our main genre so it was easy to stick to. Before forming Black Heart though I was in a kind of band called 'The Illusion' with two other friends. This is where I wrote my first multi-instrument song called "Don't Leave Me". It was a cheery ditty in a major key and was, if I do say so myself, an ok track. Sadly, we never got round to recording it and, after not playing for many years, have forgotten it. But I remember jamming it and it sounding rather ok. This is where my passion for song-writing really took off.

It was shortly after The Illusion disbanded that I wrote my first proper heavy rock song. It was called Black Thunder. I came up with the riff after hearing a song by one of my favourite bands, Black Stone Cherry. The riff sounded very similar but I was happy with it there and then. A few weeks after writing the riff, I took it to my oldest friend Joe [who ATT fans will know as the one with the Slash hair] who was in a band at the time called 'Amid The Chaos'. As it was their sort of song I asked Joe to work on it with me. We eventually wrote the music together and he wrote the majority of the lyrics. The original plan was that Joe's band would use it and credit me when their EP was recorded. Unfortunately, ATC never wrote or recorded an EP and the band disbanded shortly after. Around that time though, I was forming Black Heart with my friend Tom and we decided that WE would use Black Thunder instead. (With Joe's permission of course). We adopted it, changed it about a bit and it became a whole song. And it became our most well known song oddly.

Fun fact for any ATT fans reading this, the lyrics on the recorded versions of Black Thunder are not the original lyrics. The original lyrics were about a hitman called Black Thunder who was killed during a hit by other hitmen. But Tom and I decided to re-write the lyrics before a gig at our school (originally temporarily) after the Cumbria Shootings that year much to Joe's annoyance. We later kept the re-written lyrics and they're the lyrics you know today.

But it was when I was in the band that song-writing became much more specialized. We were a heavy rock group and that was the criteria. So I tried to write songs to that criteria. Initially it was difficult because most of the songs I wrote sounded the same but I was still the main person writing songs for the band. This upset me a bit as it felt like I was putting in all the work. So imagine my surprise when Tom text me one day saying he'd written the music to a song and needed lyrics!

When Joe joined the band on Valentines Day 2011, the whole thing became an awful lot easier still as we had someone else with a decent song-writing capability. That was when the songs I was writing started to become much more coherent and stronger because we had 4 active musicians contributing. And we were good! We developed our songs, jiggled them about a bit, wrote some new stuff and became much stronger as a group. I still remember our first gig as ATT in March 2011. The compere said our name and the whole room went crazy. I remember turning to Joe and saying "Dude, it's like we're at fucking Wembley!"

2011 was a great year both creatively and generally. And that made its way into the songs we wrote. Our songs started to turn more into teenage dramas than something like a protest song. Even though 3 out of the 4 of us hated "emo" music, I guess we were writing about "emo" is topics. In early 2011 I'd written a song about my ex-girlfriend (who I hated at the time), Joe had written a song about a girl he was really into but felt he'd never get and Tom was trying to write a song about his girlfriend. We started to become soppy. But we also had that teenage angst which made us kind of, for lack of a better word, approachable? But it was also around this time that I developed a new song-writing style.

People always talk about influences in music. Who they look up to when they write songs and stuff like that. The truth is, I don't have just one. The technique I developed at that time, which is stuck to the present, is that I listen to a certain song, or group of songs, and think "yeah, I can imitate that". So I try it. In that, I'll experiment with it and work out my own stuff. And it works! So if anyone ever asks me who my influences are, I normally reply with "anyone".

That said, this is how I write music for songs. Lyrical influences are an entirely different issue. Because lyrics can be about literally anything. If you look back at some of the most popular songs in history the lyrics are, often, quite ridiculous. Yet they're well-known. But personally, lyrics come like an idea in the bath. They come at any time. Going back to 2011 and Against The Tide, the songs I wrote in that year were some of the most personal ones I've ever written. Some of them I never performed to anyone else. Obviously, I've mentioned the song I've written about my ex-girlfriend which later became our popular live song "Within Me" was the first of these deeply personal songs.

But other songs were written, as I say, that were never performed live. For example, I'd written one called "No Place Left To Run" which was originally about my experience with bullying, another called "Hypothermia" which was about my feelings towards my absent father and one more called "Smile" which was written on a bad day. (Hence why I never showed it to anyone else. Too explicit). So early 2011 was a time of great angst. Which made great topics for songs but at the same time it was all-consuming. What happens towards the middle of 2011 is interesting, because the lyrics I'm writing take a whole different turn.

In April 2011, at an ATT gig in Shaftesbury, I met a young woman who shall remain nameless for reasons. But let's just say I fell for her quicker than bricks being thrown off a skyscraper. Up to that point I hadn't felt like that about anyone else and it was whole new territory. I really liked this girl and I expressed it in the only way I knew how. The problem was I had no reason to write the song as of yet! I really liked this girl but I wasn't sure what to write about. Then in July, the inspiration came. The unnamed girl (let's call her Alice for arguments sake) had been constantly emailing for ages and eventually I clocked up the courage to invite her to my 17th birthday do. Which was a picnic. Alice came with some mutual friends and, we barely spoke. Which seemed to happen quite a bit when we were actually physically around each other.

Shortly after the 17th birthday, a friend who was helping me out told me that Alice had said I'd been giving her mixed signals, even though I thought she'd been doing the same. And that's where the inspiration came. A week later, I finished writing "Signals" written about Alice. And, in my opinion, one of the most heart-felt songs I've ever written. We later used it in Against The Tide but it wasn't popular amongst the rest of the band. Later, Alice and I went on a date and, for the most part, it went really well. Then things fell apart thanks to me but let's not go into that. One of the last times I ever saw Alice was at the last ATT concert in 2011 and I put the song in the set list, knowing she'd be there. She worked out it was about her and loved it. She was flattered that a song had been written about her and was looking forward to hearing it again. But she never did. Now when I play the song it holds a different meaning.

2012, for the band wasn't great. We got to the point in our lives where we started to listen to different types of music. Which is good as it broadens the mind but it was bad in a band context as we were all trying to put our new found influences in each song. Band arguments also reached a new high because of this and ultimately led us to agree in March of that year that we would break up in September. We hoped that after a few months away from the band we would come back with a brand new set and image but it wasn't to be. All of us had different priorities which infected the mood the band brought. When our last practice finished before our final September gig that year I remember saying to my mum "I'm really not going to miss these practices..."

In terms of song-writing, I went about trying to write more complex stuff to meet the demand of the other members. At the time, Joe started listening to bands like TesseracT, Chimp Spanner and Meshuggah, Tom started listening to Sikth, Textures, Aliases and other tech-metal bands, Matty was listening to more jazz and I was listening to more prog-metal as well as more electronic stuff like Linkin Park and Muse. You can see where the problem lied. So I wrote the longest song I've written yet. "The Last Charade". An 8 and a half minute odyssey set against the back-drop of the Arab Spring with an Iron Maiden style harmonised ending. I finished an EPs worth of demos, 2 of which were used. But neither of the songs were completely the same as the demo. The Last Charade was the centre of one of the band's biggest arguments and it was then that the love for the project had dried up in us. The last ever gig we played in September 2012 ended with some sadness, but even then arguments ensued.

With ATT out of the way, I attempted to start up my own music project ReAnimation Arcade. I attempted to kick start it when I moved to Wales in September 2012 but my endeavors never came to fruition. And, among other personal troubles, was put on the back-burner. The planned EP, titled 'Nuclear Children' faded out of existence and music took a side stage for a time. There was a small attempt to kick-start it when I got home but I was unable to put time aside for any recording as I couldn't afford studio costs and the guy who ran it was also a student and was away 5 days a week. So I really wasn't happy.

2013 comes into existence and, on the whole, the year hasn't been overly great. I was bored at home in a job I hated and I wasn't happy generally. I'd left uni as I wasn't happy but I still felt guilty for leaving. Any song-writing I did accomplish was terrible and not worth any more work on it. As the year went on, everything started piling up until, eventually, it all came crashing down in June and I entered what was effectively a month-long low. I tend to call it depression in person because I'm not sure what the word is for it if there is one. June wasn't a great month and any and all music seemed repellent. I had a personality change, to the point I scared me own mum, and I did some rather silly things. But for some reason or another, I got roped into performing at an acoustic night run by a friend towards the end of that month. A week before the gig, I put a set list together and practiced it to death. Even though they were songs I knew, and knew well, I still wasn't feeling it.

3 days before the gig, I had a dream. The dream involved me as an adult with a little girl beside me. A girl I can only presume was my daughter. I tucked her into bed, read her a goodnight story and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. As I was leaving the room, she shouted to me "Daddy...please play my song...please?!" So I did. I picked up an acoustic and played her a song to help her sleep. She was asleep by the time the song finished. The dream ended by me saying "I love you, Molly". I woke up the next morning with the dream still fresh in my head. I didn't tell anyone about the dream but it kept nagging at me all day and that night, I set about trying to remember the song. Because it sounded great in the dream. To my surprise, I remembered the music but I couldn't remember the lyrics. So I set about writing new lyrics to supplement the music as I became hell-bent on playing this song at the gig two days later. I finished the lyrics within half an hour and the whole thing was done. I don't remember hearing the title in the dream, so purely for ease and logic, I named it "Molly's Lullaby". I played it to mum that night and it moved her to tears. She said it was beautiful and that I should play it at the gig.

Suddenly, the spark was there and the whole set-list now revolved around this new song. True to my ideas that day, I performed the gig and played ML last. The gig itself went really well considering I wasn't confident playing on my own at the time. But the highlight of my set had to be Molly's Lullaby. I played it last as I planned and, to my surprise, I made 3 grown men cry. One of which must have been in his 70s. (Maybe the fact I explained the story briefly before playing it helped?) Overall, thanks to that (and a pretty good cover of The Smiths' classic "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want") the gig was the best solo gig I've played to date. [As a side note, because of the song and the meaning behind it, I'm now convinced my first daughter will be called Molly].

Anyway, since then I've played numerous solo gigs, (playing ML along the way), played one more gig with ATT (which was a shock to everyone involved) and I've been trying to find a new direction. namely fusing rock with electronic music. And I know I've gone on a bit about the back-story of ATT and certain songs but I have answered the 3 questions I posed at the start.

How do I write a song?
I listen to other songs and try to better them.

Why do I write a song?
As an outlet for my feelings whatever they may be at the time

Why do I write a song?
Because writing music is the one thing I can count on to help get me out of my darkest place. It may take a while but I will get there. As far as I'm concerned, Molly's Lullaby saved me and got me back on track after a long time of feeling very lost. Writing music is my ultimate de-stresser. My light in the dark.

Thank you for reading this. I know many other musicians and I'm sure they have their own variations of this story and what writing music means to them so thank you so much for reading mine. It means a lot. As does writing music for all you wonderful people who have supported my musical endeavors along the way. Thank you. And I look forward to showing you all my new ReAnimation Arcade EP "The Point Of Being" sometime early next year!

If you'd to know a short summary of what certain songs I've written (or have been involved in writing) are about then read on a little more.

Black Heart (2010)

Black Thunder: An Assassination [Original], The Apocalypse [Revised].
Too Young: The Teenage Stereotype.
Dear God: Self-Harm and a Parent's Reaction.
Rainbows: John Lennon

Against The Tide (2011-2012/2013)

Burned By The Ashes: The Apocalypse. [Music written mainly by Tom]
Within Me: My Feelings Towards My Ex-Girlfriend At The Time.
I Won't Die For You: Lusting After Someone You Think You'll Never Get. [Music mainly written by Joe].
Signals: My Feelings For Someone At The Time.
The Last Charade: The Arab Spring.
Yeah, Girl: Sex.

ReAnimation Arcade (2012-Present)

Morning: My Friends' Grandparents Passing.
Don't Ever Wait For Me: A Soldier Writing Home.
Molly's Lullaby: A Little Girl Called Molly In A Dream I Had About My Future Daughter.

Miscellaneous (2010-Present)

Love Is (The Hardest Word To Say): Falling In Love.
Don't Leave Me: A Relationship.
No Place Left To Run: Bullying.
Hypothermia: My Feelings Towards My Absent Father.
She's Too Good For You: A Feeble Attempt At Rap.
Field Of Starlight: A Song I Wrote For A Friend's Christmas Present.
In My Mind: Freddie Mercury.
Alive: The First World War/Russian Revolution.
Holiday In Tripoli: Libyan Uprising.
If There's Anybody Out There: Barack Obama's Presidency.
Cariad: A Friend Of Mine.
The Rope: Suicide.
Blood Red Woman: Another Ex-Girlfriend.
No Stranger To Controversy: The Phone-Hacking Scandal.
Evening Sunlight: Parties. [Originally written for another band in Cardiff].
We Stand As Brothers: Soldiers In Iraq,
Somewhere Beyond The Angels: Pre-Cursor to Morning.
Blind: Government Control. [Originally an idea for Psalms].
*Pure: A Young Woman Running Away From Home.
*Parasite (Dedicated To...): Someone Who Annoyed Me.
*Her Smile: Falling/Being In Love.
*Apocalypse Experiment: Mind Control.

*Songs will be released by ReAnimation Arcade in 2014.



Copyright Joshua Frampton 2013.