2016 - Best Laid Plans Of Mice & Men

We all have plans, but how many have a manifesto?

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And not like this 'new year new me' bullshit, no, but I mean thinking about things I can do next year (2016) in order to make things a little bit better for me and the people around me. So, I've come up with a few things. And, because I share a bit too much, I thought I'd put it on here. So here are a few plans I have for 2016.

Firstly, I fully intend to go through with the counselling I've been referred for. I have hypochondria and some paranoia and, earlier this month, I got referred for counselling in order to counteract it. Given that my head's trying to convince me nearly every day that I'm dying, presenting psychosomatic symptoms to help the paranoia along, I think it's time to get it sorted once and for all. Not just for my own sanity but for my mother's and my housemate's sanities too.

I want to learn to drive. I need to learn to drive. I live in a small town in the countryside with terrible public transport. Driving is a necessity round our way. Also, given a potential career path I may take, it's more or less compulsory.

I want to learn some magic. Just to expand my own skillset if nothing else. You never know when it might come in handy.

I want to get a decent degree when I finish university this year. Well, who wouldn't?

I want to lose weight. I've put a bit of weight on and I need to get rid of it. I feel it might go someway to helping with the reduction of hypochondria/paranoia. You never know. But I'm not doing it to impress anyone or because I want to fit in somewhere, I'm doing this for health reasons and because I want to. I'm not entirely certain about how I'm going to go about it yet. I've never really been a sporty person but I'm sure I can find a way to do something. It may include breaking routines but I'm sure we can sort something.

I want to learn to be ambidextrous. I don't even know if that's possible. But hey, might come in handy sometime.

I want to write an article for the Guardian Opinion Section. I feel I have so much to say about so many things and, I think, if I can find the right thing to talk about I feel that I might be able to write it in a concise and professional way. It's also another string to add to my bow. Also, how cool would it be to write for the Guardian in a non-professional capacity?

I want to return to music and complete a full EP. I've been writing a few songs since I gave up music for a while and they're becoming quite good. So I'd like to get my electric guitar fixed and then get back into the swing of writing and recording music. I would've had a year off by that point and I think that might be long enough.

I want to design and make my own superhero costume. Original idea, not a version of an already existing superhero. I've basically had this idea for a superhero universe for a long time based on people I know and I even have a character based on me. Speedfreak. (I've been giving a small glimpse into this universe on another blog of mine. You can read little bits and pieces here: http://freakssuperherouniverse.blogspot.co.uk/). Speedfreak is a speedster, believe it or not, and is one of the fastest people alive. So I'd love to create a Speedfreak costume as well as learn to draw other characters. (Perhaps if I can learn some kind of artistic ability I might be able to do some initial drawings for a potential future comic book/graphic novel release.

And, finally, I'd like to get a life partner. And I don't mean a girlfriend or a boyfriend or anything like that. Because I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm not in school. And, while it would be nice to have a romantic relationship again, given I'm a lot more comfortable in myself and in what I want to do with my life, I'd just like a particular someone to share the world with. Someone to find special places with and just spend life with as I grow older, wiser and grumpier. It doesn't even need to be an intimate or physical relationship. I'm no good at...certain adultish things...so it doesn't even need to involve that. I just want someone to hang out with, watch movies with and just have fun with. But I'm also not naive. I believe things happen for a reason and this kind of thing will happen when it's meant to happen. I'm also becoming a tad more philosophical in my old age!

So, how many of these plans come to fruition remains to be seen. But that's half of the fun isn't it? But hey, you know the old saying, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry...

What are your plans for 2016? Feel free to take some inspiration from this if you'd like. Hope it can.

See ya next time.

The Last Broadcast [Review]

One of the best things I've ever heard.

I don't often do reviews but I feel the need to share this and promote it as much as possible.

It's an amateur radio play called 'The Last Broadcast' and it's on the YouTube channel known as '1RadicalOne'. It was done by a family member of his for a school media project but, either way, it's one of the best constructed things I've ever come across. Here's my synopsis for the play.

'Toronto, 1984. Radio station CKND broadcasts its normal music programme while news comes through of a Soviet incursion into West Germany. As the situation escalates, the station tries to bring the latest news while also trying to keep the country calm. But how can you remain calm when the news is so distressing?'

I first came across this in the summer, purely by accident. I was looking for another video when I saw this particular suggestion and decided to watch it. Albeit with the intention of listening to part of it to test it and take it from there. However, I was instantly hooked.

The play is presented as an actual radio station in real time. So it feels like everything's happening at once. It's all dialogue in some regard and it's presented like a normal 1980s radio station set in Canada. Starting off with Chubby Checker's 'Let's Twist Again' and continuing on the music format until the distressing news of the Soviet invasion comes through, the play also includes news reports, adverts for real places and news reports as they happen.

But, here's a list of what I personally love about the piece.

• The main body of the story doesn't start straight away. It's about 10 minutes or so before the news of the Soviet invasion comes through which means you get a little bit of normality before the station becomes completely obsessed with the unfolding horror in Europe.

• The attention to detail of the adverts. There are adverts for real companies in the play such as a museum in Toronto and Burger King. Not only are they actually using real places, they're making it sound truly like the 80s. With the horrendous synthesisers, cheesy acting and hyper-capitalism, it sounds amazingly genuine.

• When the story does take over, the emotional reaction from the presenter, Bob Henderson, is fantastic. Given what happens in the hour or so that the story takes up, Henderson's reactions are completely natural and justified. Without spoiling anything major, when news comes through of a particular nuclear strike against a certain city, he stops broadcasting for a moment in order to process what just happened.

• The attention to historical context. In 1984, the President was Ronald Reagan, the Canadian Prime Minister was Pierre Trudeau (father of the current PM Justin Trudeau), the British Prime Minister was Margaret Thatcher and the President of the USSR was Yuri Andropov. All but Thatcher in the play are mentioned by name and, at one stage, a press conference held by an advisor to Trudeau can be heard a number of times. Not only this, the news goes off topic for a moment and discusses the Israeli occupation of Lebanon which ended in 2000 as well as other local news items. The play also mentions that the German city of Bonn is the capital of West Germany. Something I didn't know until I heard it for the first time.

• The emergency broadcast system of Canada. I haven't personally heard the emergency broadcast system of Canada but the one they put in the play would be a good one to go by. Not only is the information given on it accurate, it's also very sinister. Which, let's face it, anyone hearing it would find it. 

• The feel of the news reports. Given what's going on, the play involves different correspondents in different locations. Examples of locations include London, Dusseldorf and Washington DC. But all of these news reports are well constructed as well. You do kind of get immersed in the pseudo-journalism that you're hearing.

It's an inspired story and it's well produced. The only issue I have with it its slightly grainy audio quality but, given I wasn't alive in Canada during the 1980s, I'm assuming it's that grainy for a reason.

If you quite like this kind of thing and have a spare hour and 15 minutes then I totally suggest listening to it because it is really good. The alternate history feel of it is fantastic and its real-time pace is even better as you can get completely caught up in it. If you have an interest in Nuclear Politics and fast-paced diplomacy too then it really is for you. 

If you do listen to it, I hope you enjoy it. It's not for the faint hearted or easily anxious but, just remember, it's an a story set in an alternate universe.

The fact that this could be mistaken for a broadcast from a parallel universe is by the by!

Enjoy!

The Wisdom of 9 Year Old Josh.

Kids say the darndest things.

So, I was looking through some old stuff the other day and happened to stumble across this. I was a memory I'd written down when I was about 9 years old on the subjects of soul-mates. Figured it was quite cute and thought it might make someone smile.

"When we're born, we're born with one half of a guardian angel. And then, the idea of finding a wife or a husband is that you find the other half of the angel. If you become girlfriends with someone and it doesn't work, it means that the guardian angels weren't the same. But when you find someone, fall in love and marry them, it means that you've found the other half. I think that's called a soul-mate?"

A Blog Post About My Experiences With Self-Harm

All because  of a group of middle aged women who are seemingly as loose with their morals as they are with their understanding.

For those who aren't in the UK, or just don't have any idea, there's a programme on the channel ITV every lunchtime called 'Loose Women'. I suppose, for my American readers, it's the UK equivalent to 'The View' on ABC where a group of women discuss the news and talk to guests.

However; something the women of the UK show said recently has landed them in a bit of hot water.

What did they say?

They effectively suggested that being Transgender, self-harming or having Bulimia is the "in thing" at the moment for young people.

While the exact quotes are a little ambiguous at best, but let's take them at face value for a moment. They obviously aren't.

When I was a teenager, the "in things" were toy Daleks, iPods, Tamagotchis and Rihanna's 'Umbrella'. Transgenderism, Self-harming and Bulimia certainly were not.

"In things", as far as I understand them, are meant to be something that is indicative of popular youth culture that everybody would like to have or do and wouldn't be ashamed to show it off.

Now, Transgenderism does involve an element of being proud of who you are but not to this extent. And self-harming or Bulimia certainly does not fit into this category.

I've never personally self-harmed but I have supported a number of friend through a time of self-harming and, let me tell you, it is not at all fun and games. Not only is the person self-harming under such emotional, mental and personal torture, the person helping them feels nothing but fear, helplessness and inadequacy knowing that they can only do so much before, God forbid, something happens to them.

Every time one of my friends came to me telling me they were self-harming I immediately made it clear to them that they could talk to me any time of the day or night if they felt it would help them. Which, although the people I have helped are now in a better frame of mind, what happened between then and them feeling better about things was horrific.

Because, here's something. Most people assume that people use a knife or a razor blade so self harm. That's not always the case. I know someone who did use razors but I also know that people find anything they can. Not only that, a lot of people think that those who self harm are doing it for attention. And it always annoys me when someone says this because I know better. I know more than them and it makes me want to break my pacifism to make the point.

The reason why people self-harm is not too dissimilar, in my experience, to when people want to kill themselves. The sheer lack of control over their surroundings. The over-whelming of emotions. Mental health issues that are out of their control. The sheer notion that no-one likes them and that there's nothing really keeping them on this planet. Or, simply, they just don't feel they're good enough for anything.

When you talk to someone who's just self-harmed or is about to do it again is one of the scariest things someone can ever do. Because you ask questions that you think you'll never have to ask.


What are you using?

Where have you cut this time?

Is anyone else in the house with you?

What triggered you to do it this time?


But that doesn't even come close to the questions you internally have.


What if they cut somewhere they weren't intending?

What if something happens after I leave them for the night?

What if I can't help them this time?

What happens if they die?


The truth is, if you're in this situation, you really don't want to know the answer to these questions. But you ask anyway in the vague hope that it helps somehow. You don't want to know that someone you care about is using a razor blade or a nail to cause themselves pain because they think it'll make them feel better. You don't want to them to reassure you that they're not cutting down the arm but across. You don't want to see the cuts they've made while they deal with the instant regret that comes with it.

But above all, you don't want to hear someone you care about tell you that they hurt themselves because they feel so worthless and sub-human that they think all they deserve is this pain.


One other thing that annoys me is that many people think that self-harming is a 'cry for help'. Because, if you think about it logically, self-harming is an addiction.

Person feels bad - they cut themselves - they get a momentary good feeling. A feeling of peace - they then regret it.

But the cycle continues. Because it's the only release they can get at that moment. And that's what's hardest for all involved. Because the people self-harming will only ask for help if they feel they've gotten to a point where they need it.

And if they do that and you're the person they come to for support, for goodness sakes just accept them, give them a hug and tell them it's ok. Because what they've just told you is one of the bravest things someone in that situation can do. It's going to be a long road for both of you. But they've put their entire trust in you and that's something special. Because they're taking a risk in doing so. Given how volatile they are already, to break that is ill-advised.

And yes, the more you become a sounding board for that person the more it's going affect you. And, no, I'm not suggesting you'll start self-harming because they're self-harming but you're a person too. You have feelings and you have emotions just as they do. It will get on top of you too. I guarantee it.

So, to be selfish for a moment, here's how I dealt with that.

Anyone who knows me well enough will know that, if I'm feeling an emotion, I write a song about it. It's my way of dealing with everything. This case was no exception. The song I wrote was called 'Dear God' and I performed it live with the band I was in for a number of years. While it never got recorded and it seems cheesy now, the message is super serious.

The song was about a father who discovered, when it was too late, that his daughter was self-harming. Only the self-harming had gone too far and she was very ill in hospital. So the Dad starts blaming himself for not noticing and prays to God to make sure his little girl survives.

Dear God is she ok?
I'm sorry that I made her cry
Do you think she'll be ok?
All I want to do is ask her why...

While writing the song was cathartic for me, it was terrible to play for one main reason. I wrote it about a particular friend I was supporting at the time. Which was always going to be interesting but it didn't help that at one particular gig, we played the song and the father of the friend in question was there.

He had no idea I'd written the song with his daughter in mind but I felt absolutely horrible playing it at that time. To be honest, I don't think she ever knew it was about her either despite her hearing it. It didn't help also that someone totally unrelated pulled me aside and told me how beautiful and thoughtful he song was, even after I came clean to her about what the song was about.

I refused to play it after that night. I think we only played it one more time after that but I refused to play it at nearly every other gig we did after that.

But the overwhelming I felt at the time about it all is nothing compared to the friend that was going through it. Talking to them night after night about what was triggering them to self-harm showed me how vulnerable people can be. Especially teenagers. Mind you, it didn't surprise me. Teenagers are a bio-chemical hormonal battleground trying to make sense of everything that's happening to them so it doesn't shock me in the slightest that some react this way.

I'm not going to purport to be an authority on this subject. But I do have first-hand experience of supporting people who do go through it. And I can say with all the authority I can muster that SELF-HARMING IS NOT A FAD, A PHASE OR THE 'IN-THING' FOR ANYONE INVOLVED.

It's a terrifying and painful thing to witness and even more terrifying for those going through it. Because they know they don't want to do it but they can't help themselves. And the littlest thing can make them feel so bad that the cut is the only thing that will make them feel even slightly better.

I don't usually swear on my blog posts but this gets me riled.

Fuck anyone who says that people only self-harm for attention.

Fuck anyone who thinks that it's solely a cry for help.

Fuck anyone who says it's an 'in-thing'.

And fuck anyone who thinks that anyone who self-harms is a coward who can't take control of their lives.

And do you know what? The support worked for the people I helped. They've all grown up to be amazing young women and I genuinely have the biggest smile when I see them about enjoying themselves. Because, once you been through or seen that, it feels like you've actually done something worthwhile.

These people are human. More human than most. Everyone has their weaknesses and everyone is strong to a certain point. But just because they can't uphold it for a time, it doesn't mean they've given up or it doesn't mean they're weak. It just means that they've been strong for too long.

And that notion doesn't always end up in self-harm. I bottled up a lot of what I was feeling for many years and it eventually broke me into two. So I can attest how being strong for too long can have negative effects. It just so happens, for a few of my friends, that they reacted that way while I reacted another.

So, as for the Loose Women, fuck you. Self-harm is not some fad that everyone's doing. Nor is Transgenderism and nor is Bulimia. Self-harm and Bulimia are real human problems. And Transgenderism is real too. How would you like it if you felt you were trapped in the wrong body? You wouldn't like it would you. So, instead of assuming you know everything just because your 8 year old child has mentioned it once in passing. actually do your funking research.

And as for self-harming being a thing?

Do me a favour, ladies.

Help somebody through self-harming for 6 months, convince them you can't help them any further and suggest they should tell their parents about what's been going on. Then tell their older sister at their request because they're scared of how their parents and family are going to react. Then watch the older sister (who is also your friend) as their heart-breaks in front of you after being told everything and watch as they realise they're going to have to tell their parents about what's happened while her own perception is being turned upside down.

THEN TELL ME IT'S A FUCKING FAD.

I've said enough. Apologies for the swearing. But I do get angry about this topic.

Until next time.

Me.

I write blog posts about me an awful lot. I write a lot of banal crap that no one really wants to read. Because, what's so interesting about my favourite music or my favourite TV show? Or my political views? Not a lot. A personal revelation or a personal story where you've learnt some kind of important lesson? That's more what people want to hear about. I've done that before in a way. I've mentioned various aspects of my life that hold some meaning. Like Hazel for example. Hazel was a very important part of my life for some time and the fact I've been unable to find her is somewhat disheartening. But my life isn't just about finding old friends.

My life is...more. My life is so much more. And, over the last month or so I've really been evaluating what my life is. What I've done and where I am now. What I've become and who I want to be in the future. How I arrived at the now and how I want to go to the then. These are all questions that I've been struggling to grapple with. But, I think it's this weekend that's really cemented a lot of things for me in my own mind.

So, if it's ok, I'm going to tell you about me. Not everything, mind. But enough for you to know who I am. So here goes. And, please bear in mind, a lot of this is very hard for me to admit.

My name is Joshua. I am 21 years old and I'm a 3rd year politics student at the University of Winchester. I have a form of Autism called Asperger's Syndrome. I was diagnosed with that when I was 7 years old and, while I've had a lifetime to get used to it and adapt, I'm still outwardly autistic. 

When I was younger; I wanted to be a teacher. When I was 19, this was shaken due to a number of proposals that the Government were bringing in and I decided I didn't want to do that anymore. Now, it's looking like a realistic possibility again. However, at various points, I've wanted to be a Doctor, an actor, a rock star, a pilot, a politician, a charity worker abroad, a counter-terrorism officer, a policeman and, for one odd day in year 7, Jewish.

But where I am now is important. When I was 18, I decided I was going to live by my own rules. My own ethical code. Throw caution to the wind and do what I want when I wanted. By all accounts, this has failed and has done me more harm than good. Not to mention the people around me. 

I now suffer from panic attacks from time to time and I'm not a hypochondriac. I get panic attacks mainly because I'm a very sentimental person and I have a massive guilt complex. So, if I think I've done something wrong, it keeps coming up to remind me. Like a bad penny. I'll be having a great day and then it'll bring up a painful memory and completely ruin it. Luck of the draw I suppose.

I've also become slightly more intolerant since I decided to live by my own code. Not racially intolerant but, if people didn't agree with me, they were automatically wrong. I allowed some wriggle room for things like religion and politics but even then, that had a limit. I also became tired of people telling me what I can and can't do. I did that usual young person thing of 'I know best, fuck everyone else'. In June 2013, I had a bit of a bad time and took a lot of anger out on a lot of people that didn't deserve it. I even scared my own mum which I'm definitely not proud of now. She commented to my aunty that I wasn't her son anymore. Which hurt but was instrumental in bringing me back round.

Despite this, I've tried to be a good person all of my life. I've always tried to be there for people. To help them. To put them before me. But, the truth is, since I took up my own code, I've been the opposite. I've been selfish. Only helping people if I have an interest in it and been less tolerant of peoples problems and making a lot of them about me. Which is wrong. And, a lot of times, I didn't care what the outcome would be of my involvement in an issue. 

I also have a bad anger problem. Although I would never attack anyone when I'm angry, I did lash out at a lot of inanimate objects. I have a horrible temper. It scares people. And, when I'm in that phase, I don't care what gets damaged and for how long.

A lot of bad things have come out of me living by this code. But, admittedly, there have been good things too.

Last year, I put my ill-feelings towards my father aside and met him for the first time. We get on really well now and I see him and my step-mum whenever I'm home for a prolonged period. I see this as a positive because a lot of anger has been let go.

I also have a wonderful friendship group that have stuck by me despite my being this monster by all accounts. I've even made wonderful new friends at university.

The truth is, this is me. I've reached this point and now I realise how much of a stupid, idiotic and terrifying monster I've become. If you met me, you may not think it. But if you truly knew me you'd know that this was true and made total sense. But, after a LOT of soul-searching, I recognise this. I know where and when it started and I know what I'm going to about me.

It all started in 2011. And, as with everything, there was a girl involved. When I first met this girl, everything but her went out of focus and I fell for her the moment we met. She literally took my breath away and I'll never forget that feeling. After months of talking and meeting up, I professed my feelings for her and she told me she felt the same for me. But we had to go on a date first. Just to be sure. 

We went on the date and it went really well. We kissed for the first and last time. But we knew it wasn't easy. We didn't live close to each other and didn't see each other all the time but we did try. But, after a while, I suggested we take a break. Due to distance and the amount of work we both had, it made sense. We agreed to review things when the exams at the time were over. (We were both in Year 13 at this point). 

2 weeks later, I started going out with someone else. 

At the time, it felt right. It felt like it was the right thing but then it always does doesn't it. Being older and having the benefit of hindsight, I shouldn't have done it. Considering how I felt for this girl in the first place. I hadn't felt that way about anyone before and I haven't since. She was amazing. Caring, funny and amazing. The best thing that had happened to me in a long time. Possibly ever and I screwed up that chance.

Well, as you might expect, she made it very clear she didn't want to speak to me or see me ever again. This is what started it. This descent. This anger. Originally, I thought I was angry at her for reacting that way. But, in reality, I was angry with myself. All this time I've been angry with myself.

I've spent the last 3 years trying to forget her but, until now, she'd keep popping up in my mind every so often and I never knew why. But now I do.

My sub-conscious brings her up every so often to remind me of the stupidity and hurt I caused. And how I should strive not to cause that amount of hurt again. No-one else I have romantic ties with should have to feel the way she felt.

Well, that's gone very well so far! Not. But now that I realise this I can work on it. I can strive to make sure this gets followed. Because, part of my Autism dictates that I don't like hurting people. And any hurt I cause someone reflects onto me twice as hard due to my empathy. I hate feeling like that. So it gives me an incentive not to do that to anyone else.

Despite this, though, it's too late for some things. I've been reckless with many things and I have hurt people since then. I'm not going to go into how because it hurts to. But I have. Friends, romantic relations and family. I've said things, done things, that have upset people. Well, no more.

Now I see what I've become I can strive to change this. So, here's me recognising who I am right now.

I'm a bitter person because of the actions I've made in my past. But, instead of taking responsibility for my actions like I should've done, I blamed the rest of the world. I got angry at everyone else as well as myself. But, not thinking I'd done anything wrong, took it out on anyone else. And it's now got to the point where I feel I've done so many things wrong, I don't deserve to be happy. And maybe, that's why I do half of what I do. Because I'm afraid of feeling happy as I feel I don't deserve to be.

But now I take responsibility. I'm taking back control of my mess of a person and I'm rebooting. Regenerating.

I'm going to make things right. It's too late to make the past right but I can take control of who I'm going to be next. Where I'm going to be and how I'm going to get there.

If I could go back into the past and change what happened with that girl, I would. Without a second's hesitation. However, I can't. I would give anything to tell her how sorry I am and how much of an idiot I was but I can't. I can, however, do the next best thing. And make sure that history does not repeat itself.

I've found a new set of guidelines to live by. I'm not going to go into what they are as I don't want to draw attention to what I'm doing in that regard. Let's just say, if you know me, it's come from an unlikely source.

So, if you're reading this and I've done something to hurt or upset you in the past 3 years, I'm so sorry. I cannot apologise enough. But I promise I'm trying to be better than the guy before. I'm trying to be a better man than him. There will be teething troubles but please stick with it. I promise I'm not a completely hopeless case. I'm just hopeless in general!

Events over the past few months have taught me that I can't afford to be a bitter person anymore and that I need to let go of what's past and focus on the now. The past can serve as a reminder but it's time I stopped being ruled by what I did before now. Because I'm not the same person today as I was yesterday. Because the past makes you bitter. And, as I've learnt, being bitter gets you nowhere.

Thank you for letting me put this on the page. But I needed an outlet to put it all out there.

My name is Joshua. I am 21 years old and I'm a 3rd year politics student at the University of Winchester. And, today, I think I've finally vanquished the demons that have been haunting me for 4 years. The person I've been for the past 3 years is not who I really am. And the man I am right now is. And I much prefer him to the previous me...

Tracks Of My Years

Gather round, children...

Every week on the British radio station, BBC Radio 2, the wonderful presenter Ken Bruce invites musicians from all genres to come in and choose 10 tracks that stuck out for them most or influenced them in a certain way.

So, I got bored. I decided to do it myself. I'm a musician (semi-retired) but it's been fun to get nostalgic and look back over the music that's affected me in my 21 years and 5 months on this planet.

So, here goes!

Shaggy - 'It Wasn't Me' (feat. RikRok)

When I was about 6, my Mum got me a copy of Smash Hits Magazine which, back in those days, had a free VHS tape on it which featured a number of music videos. I remember putting it on the TV the moment I got it and putting it on repeat. But the reason this song sticks out is because it was the first music video to come on the VHS. Other videos on it included Gorillaz' 'Clint Eastwood' and A1's 'Take On Me' among others but I just remember loving the song and Shaggy's Jamaican vocals on it, despite not understanding what the song was about. It's stuck with me ever since and it's obviously a song most of my generation love as well. (Go 90s Kids!) I was recently at an Enter Shikari concert in Bristol and the song came on the PA speakers while we were waiting for them to come on and everyone started singing along to it. (Myself and my compadre included). It's a crap song in the grand scheme of things but, hey, it's fun. Who sung it? It's wasn't me...

Eddy Grant - 'Electric Avenue'

I was about 6 when I first heard this song and I think, if memory serves, it was on a commercial in the UK around that time. Similarly to It Wasn't Me, Grant's voice is very distinctive in the track and that's probably why I latched on to it. But this song holds another lovely connotation for me. At the time, I went to a school in my hometown that required me to get a bus across town and I was very fortunate to share that journey with my oldest friend, Joe. Who also liked the song. I remember singing it with him most mornings on the way to school just because we could and I everytime I hear that song I just remember the two of us as 7 year olds singing it as loud as we could on that bus. Considering it was only a 5 minute journey from Joe's stop, it certainly made the time pass quickly.

Queen - 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

To anyone who's read my previous blogs or who knows me very well, you'll know that Queen are my all-time favourite band. So this seems like an obvious choice. But there's a reason. I first heard this song knowingly when I was 7 years old when it came on the radio. (Which was called 'Vale FM' back then with the immortal Cameron Smith as DJ). At that time, I was very much a pop-loving kid. Steps, S Club 7 and similar bands like that were my main loves. So when I heard BoRap for the first time, that's when everything changed. It wasn't like anything I'd ever heard before and I remember being very confused as it felt like a lot of information was going in my head at one time. But, given my head has always been slightly quirky and chaotic (maybe due to my Aspergers), it fitted perfectly. I loved it the moment that I heard it. I was 12 when I managed to get Queen's Greatest Hits 1 for the first time and I remember being ecstatic because it means I could have it on...yes...repeat. To this day, it remains one of the few songs that can cheer me up regardless of my mood. Still miss Freddie...

Amy Winehouse - 'Back To Black'

When this song first came out, I didn't listen to it. Mainly because I knew that Amy Winehouse was a notorious drug addict so I automatically didn't listen to it. However, when I eventually did, I fell in love with it. Because Amy genuinely has one of the best voices on a woman I've ever heard. She had so much soul and so much passion that it was such a shame that her addiction took her in the end. I was in Year 7 when this came out so it seemed very adult compared to what I listened to before so that was magical for me. I'm not going to deny I've grown a much better appreciation for the song and Amy herself as I've grown older. If I'm honest, I much prefer 'Tears Dry On Their Own' and her version of 'Love Is A Losing Game' as I personally it shows off her voice more but this is the first song from her I heard so it holds a special place too. I also remember the day she died too. I was with some friends when we found out and we were all rather broken up about it.

Muse - 'Supermassive Black Hole'

My second favourite band of all time. Yet another act which I hated when I first heard them. I remember my friend Ben bringing Black Holes & Revelations into the car for us to listen to on the way to school in 2007 and absolutely hating it. But it wasn't until 2009 that I really got into them more. Ben was teaching me guitar at the time and I asked him to teach me Supermassive Black Hole but he never got round to it. So I managed to learn it myself and it became the first song I ever taught myself on guitar with tab. (I can't read tab that well so it was quite an achievement for me to do it. Still is). I still play it sometimes to this day when I'm really, really bored. My love Muse has also caused many conflicts in my own musical life. My obsession with them led me to try and write more electronically based songs for our band which didn't work too well. The lead guitarist in the band I was in, Tom, hates Muse as well so got very funny when I played it at practise. We're not in a band together anymore and he still gets funny when I play it. He also begrudgingly learnt 'Hysteria' at the time so that our bassist at the time, Rachel, could have the limelight for a little bit.  

The Feeling - 'I Thought It Was Over'

I consider myself very lucky that most of my formative years went through a period of musical transition. Pop songs were starting to dominate the charts more than ever before and rock music was started to be driven underground more each year of the 00s. However, in the mid-00s, there was an oasis of a mixture between the two that took the mainstream for a time. Bands like Kaiser Chiefs, Razoright, The Fray and The Feeling were bands who had a rock influence but translated into the pop genre as well, causing the two to meld. For me, The Feeling were the best band in this period and remain one of my all time favourite bands. And while I loved their first album, their song 'I Thought It Was Over' stood out for me the most. Their second album was very odd because it appeared that they were trying to emulate Queen a bit more which automatically sat well with me but it was just more jolly than any other previous release I felt. I was lucky to see The Feeling live in Cardiff in 2011 and they played this. I was ecstatic. It still remains one of the bounciest songs I remember from my childhood.

Electric Six - 'Gay Bar'

Hear me out. I've always loved this song because it's just completely ridiculous. The words, the video, everything is all weird. That;s I love. It's just ballsy. The song became kind of attached to me by accident in my friendship group for a while because my love for the song became known which led to my friend, Rachel, making a drawing of me for my birthday coming toe-to-toe with a Dalek who was blurting out 'I want to take you to a Gay Bar!' I still have this on my bedroom wall. My band also performed it at a Halloween gig in 2010 after much discussion. Our lead guitarist, Tom, fell through a door at the end of the song preceding it and, despite being on the floor in some pain, played the riff and we all joined in. Tom and I have also recorded and performed a slow acoustic version of the song after dicking about one lunchtime in the school recording studio! Good memories.

Coheed & Cambria - 'Welcome Home'

Everyone's had that experience a number of times when they hear a song for the first time and go 'WOAH'. Welcome Home was the song I still go 'WOAH' to despite having heard it over a million times and performed it over 10 times in the band I was in. I remember turning onto the Scuzz channel one day and seeing this song come on and just thinking how amazing it was. Seeing a wonderfully hairy Claudio Sanchez sing his heart out while a suspicious eye continually watched him was just amazing to me but the song was even more amazing. I remember being completely blown away by the guitar solo despite being 16 and having been in a band for a while at this stage. We ended up playing it, badly, in the band but it also led to a period in my life which became dominated by progressive metal music. Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree, Opeth and others suddenly became my main musical focus. We tried to bring that into the band as well but we were already started to break so it was in vain, sadly.

My Chemical Romance - 'Famous Last Words'

There was a time when I was a little bit in love with The Black Parade. However, sadly, I arrived to it too late. About 3 years too late to be precise. But I remember hearing the song and the album for the first time and being completely blown away by it. Again, quite Queen-esque in some of its songs it struck a chord with me automatically. But Famous Last Words holds a special place because of the role it played in the lead-up to my first break-up. Before my first girlfriend and I separated, this song happened to come onto shuffle one day and the lyrics suddenly gained a lot more meaning, especially when it says 'a love so demanding'. The relationship itself wasn't so demanding but it was the fact that the song, to me, talks about a love that's falling apart and that's what was happening at the time. Or so it seemed. I really did care about this girl but she was hurting me by ignoring me so it gave a lot of food for thought. It was actually talking things through with a friend and hearing this song at the youth club I used to attend that caused me to make the decision to be the bigger person and end it. In many ways, I'm glad I did because it hurt a lot at the time but the song now also conjures up happier times with this girl in my head which is a comfort now.

Queen - 'The Show Must Go On'

I know I've put Queen in this twice, but there is a reason. This song, as well as Bohemian Rhapsody, has made a lot of things clear in my head over the years. I first heard the song in 2008 and, ever since then, I've drawn a bit of a mantra from the song. The story behind the song helps with this as well. While recording it, Brian May wasn't sure if Freddie could sing it because, as you know or soon will do, it's a powerful song. Freddie took a shot of vodka and said "do it? I'll fucking nail it, darling" and preceded to do the whole song in 1 take. Despite his body being ravaged by AIDS, he managed to push himself and do what he wanted. So that's the mantra I take. If Freddie Mercury can sing his heart out with death lingering over him, I can do the thing. The song has also come into play with a decision over another break-up. I won't go into it too much as it's still a teeny bit raw despite it happening 4 years ago but when everything went down on that night, the song came on the radio. (The night it all ended, it happened to be the night before the 20th anniversary of Freddie Mercury's death) and it said to me that "it's ok, it will all work out". This remains to be seen but it still remains one of the most powerful songs I know. It definitely played a big role in the latter half of my formative years.

6 Honourable mentions:

Stevie Wonder - 'Higher Ground'

That wah-clav though. First heard this when I was very young but rediscovered it earlier this year.

Ricky Valance - 'Tell Laura I Love Her'

So, my Mum loves songs from her childhood and she showed me a load of them. This is the first song from that era I remember liking while listening to an old cassette while driving through Cornwall. Sad story about a guy trying to get the money to get his girlfriend a ring but dies in the process.

Rihanna - 'Umbrella'

I like this song more for irony than anything else. The year this song came out, the UK was hit by really bad storms and regional flooding. The summer was awful and consisted of mostly rain. The British media ironically blamed Rihanna for the bad weather and her need to promote umbrellas.

'Elvis Presley - In The Ghetto'

Another product of my upbringing. I could list a load of 50s/60s songs I adore so many of them it would take up A WHOLE LOT of room. Maybe I'll do another vlog for that. But I first heard this song when I was very young and I remember loving it ever since. My mum loves Elvis so I heard a lot of him growing up. The song is about a kid in a ghetto who struggle throughout his life until he becomes embroiled in a life of crime. It's also one of the few songs I can do in karaoke practically note-perfect.

Les Miserables - Come To Me

A choice from when I was 17. I was very lucky enough to be in my school's production of Les Miserables. I went into it completely blind but I ended up loving it. I still do. But out of all the songs in the musical, this one made me cry first. For two reasons. Firstly, the Fantine in our production was a wonderful young lady named Courtney and it was her song. The first time I heard the song and her sing it was during the first dress rehearsal when we all watched. Courtney sang it so well that I was streaming in tears (which annoyed my then girlfriend). But, in a bizarre twist, the bed Courtney was laying on collapsed after she sang "Tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I wake". We were in hysterics because of it but, being the pro she and the young man playing Valjean were, they didn't laugh until they were told they were allowed to. I now cannot hear this song being sung without distinctly remembering Courtney's voice in my head.

Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run

I can say with conviction that this is the first Springsteen song I heard as a kid. I remember Mum buying the greatest hits CD, putting it on and just immediately falling in love with it. Born To Run, as a song, is almost as bonkers as BoRap but it, in a way, flows better. This is also more consistently upbeat compared to BoRap too. The song still holds a soft spot in my heart for being the first Boss song I heard, despite it not being my favourite. That title is held by both Thunder Road and Streets Of Philadelphia. 

What would you choose for your tracks?

Next time, Desert Island Discs.

The Day We Killed God [Short Prose]

Do you remember where you were when they announced it? I do. I was at university. On my laptop in the library writing an essay on the Korean War. Listening to the BBC; I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was amazing, phenomenal. The joy, the cheers and the elation. We'd conquered one of the worst things to afflict the human race and now there was no stopping us. Because of that day, there wasn't anything we couldn't do?

Go to Mars? Let's do it.

Underwater cities? Let's do it.

Solve world hunger? Let's do it.

Self-tying shoes? Let's do it.

The day the announcement came was the day that the human race really found its feet. In this amazing moment we were united as a planet. The potential lives of every person on planet Earth grew exponentially and families would never be torn by disease again. Sure, there were other diseases that were around that we still intended to tackle but we'd found the freaking goldmine.

"All test trials were successful. Scientists moved onto human testing 5 years ago, testing over 100,000 sufferers and the results are conclusive. We've found it. We've found the cure for cancer". The UN Secretary General announced proudly. "This is truly a wonderful moment for mankind. This is the day we celebrate the human race moving forward into a new age and a new social-medical paradigm. This truly is the time to be alive".

And, while we had achieved something amazing, there was obviously a lot of cynicism as well. Mainly from religious groups who claimed that the cure was proof that the human race was 'playing God' and that this cure would only lead to more death and misery. Others claimed that perhaps the cure could only work on certain people while others would get worse and, as some people claimed, cancer would mutate to fight the cure.

All we knew was that this was a time of amazement. A time of wonder and a time of hope. Nothing could stop us now. I remember one of the scientists who synthesised the cure went on television to give an interview and I'll never remember the last thing he said during it.

"Today is the day we rose to the challenge, took on mother nature, and won. We took what's been given to us on this planet and we've used it to the best advantage. Now families won't have to go through the agonising pain of watching their loved ones deteriorate and become a shell knowing there's nothing they can do except stage a heart-rendering long goodbye. Nor will people with cancer have to worry about whether the day they wake up will be their last because now, if it is, it won't be due to the cancer. This is the day we took on nature and won. And this is the day we killed God".

That's an interesting statement, isn't it. "The day we killed God". Doesn't sound right, does it? How can you kill something you cannot see? Well, I suppose the cure for cancer taught us you can but even so, how can you kill something you cannot see? Especially something as grand as God is presented. But that's the question. Where is God?

A Christian will tell you that he's always with us or that he's always around us at once. But is God...a tree? Is God a car? Is God an iPhone 6? Is God a man? Is God a woman? Is God a cockroach? Who knows. That's the thing, no-one knows.  Because if God is this omnipotent being somewhere in the sky then we cannot logically kill him but curing cancer? But if God is the ultimate metaphor for the universe in general then how are we killing him by cure? Or is the cure the weapon itself? Lucifer's trident if you will?

If God exists, and I'm not saying he does or doesn't here, then the cure for cancer cannot logically 'kill God'. It merely removes an aspect of the idea of God. But then, by Bible logic, if God creates us and plans our lives our for us before we're born then he obviously planned the cure eventually? No?

It's just a strange and fascinating statement to make. A bold statement. One that annoyed the religious communities for sure. I remember the protests and the riots because of that statement and the hate that came from it. People of all faiths ganging up on this guy all because he denounced a deity that we,debatably, cannot see. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews and others all condemning this one man despite what he helped give to society. He helped give us the holy grail of modern medicine and the world started to turn on him. It's like that guy and the probe that landed on that comet a few years ago. His team made an amazing achievement, pushing the boundaries of human technology yet the world concentrated on his tacky shirt covered in scantily-clad women. It's the same principle, only with lexicon.

And that's what God is to me. A word. This is why I have a problem with that scientist's statement. Because, if God is just a word, you cannot kill a word. Just as you cannot kill an idea. I'm not saying the scientist was right to say what he said, nor am I saying he was wrong to. But that's all an idea is. Words. An idea is a hypothetical that becomes real once you bring it into reality yourself. If it never comes into reality then it only remains a thought of words in your head or words spoken out loud.

So maybe the cure for cancer was the day we killed God for some. But it could also be the day we brought God into existence for others. For some people, religion is a justification for their actions but for others it's a form of hope and belonging. And that's what makes this event so significant culturally. While the scientist's comments brought about some terrible repercussions, the cure also brought hope for many others. Who were thankful. Who believed that the cure and the scientists were a gift from God.

I'm not sure I believe either to be honest with you. But here's what I believe.

I believe that we have the cure for cancer now. That is fact. It may have been sent by God. This is an idea that many try to make real, to their credit. But what I also believe is that we didn't not kill God that day as a race because, as I've said, we cannot. But what we did do is create a common ground between everyone. And the future will hopefully look back on today will fondness and the start of a brand new era in human thinking. Forget religion. Forget God. Forget Atheism. Perhaps the future will look at this day and this event and go "this isn't the day we killed God. This was the day we created humanity".

There is one thing we haven't considered though...what if the cure itself is God?

I Tried Tinder For A Month...

Just call me Tinderbell.

Over the summer, I became aware of this phone app known as 'Tinder'. I was already aware of 'Grindr' and thought that this was a good idea. However, I wasn't aware there was another similar app. While my friends suggested I go on Grindr, I didn't feel I'd be much use on Grindr. So I decided, more for an experiment rather than anything else, I would try Tinder. Where, at the very least, I might have a chance at meeting someone.

For those who don't know, Tinder is an app whereby you put in 'discovery preferences' along with a mile range and they show you anyone within your parameters who are close by. People use this app either to make friends, find love or to find a partner for a one night stand. Or friends with benefits. I don't judge. If you like someone, you 'swipe right' and, if you're not interested, you 'swipe left'. There's a new feature called 'super-like' but I haven't tried that yet.

While I didn't get on in order to meet anyone, it was obviously in the back of my mind. But I already had other plans of what to do. If I ever got a match, I'd send a very bad joke just to see how they react. If they reacted well and wanted to carry on talking, fine. If they used colourful language to tell me to go away, also fine. Each to their own.

So I got it and made my profile look decent. Using both embarrassing photos as well as slightly better looking ones to throw a curveball.

After a month, this is what I've discovered.

- Tinder is surprisingly addictive. I've always been fascinated by the number of people in the world and this has kind of shown me how many people there are in a certain area. Even if a lot of them are after...illicit things. It's still nice to see such a diverse range of people though in such a comparatively short area. Very fascinating.

- I have a type. Most people I swipe right to tend to be awkward looking, ginger or look slightly geeky/nerdy. Sometimes, all 3 at once. After years of not thinking I had a type, I've evidently been proven wrong. I seem to be drawn to more geeky girls who are extremely socially awkward and have a more red tinge to their hair. I've known for some time I'm a sucker for accents so perhaps my type is a socially inept redhead from Ireland with a comic and Doctor Who obsession. Who knows. But there seems to be a pattern developing.

- There are a lot of people with very strange names. The variety of names on this app are phenomenal. They can range from foreign names to just downright bizarre ones. Obviously you get a lot of Claires, Victorias, Alices and things but when you find someone called 'Rocket' and 'Jessica-Falcon' that you start to wonder if they actually exist. With the amount of strange names on this I'm starting to wonder whether Bob Geldof has had thousands of illegitimate children! Not that it detracts from the person in hand but it is very odd to see some of the titles that come across your screens.

- People are very blunt on their profiles. People on Tinder don't seem to beat around the bush. While they are perhaps frugal with personal details, some put quite a lot on there. Not only that, some people are very blunt about what they're looking for. If they're looking for friendship, they'll say. If they're after something serious, they'll say. If they want to do a certain sexual position, chances are they'll say it. I genuinely saw one profile which had in its description "just looking for a wheelbarrow partner ;)". It's amazing what people put on this. People put this stuff and I'm there calling myself a professional jelly baby.

- A lot of people feel the need to cake themselves in make-up. I don't judge people unless they give me a reason to. Nor do I have a problem with these people. But I've always wondered why young ladies feel the need to literally cake themselves in make up in order to feel pretty. I know it's been the culture for perhaps 15 years to do so but, still, it is a little confusing. I imagine it has a lot to do with the fashion of the time as well as shows like TOWIE and Jersey Shore influencing societal perception of beauty. But, still, there's a lot of these people in Tinder. In fact, I'd hazard a guess that these ladies make up 70% of all Tinder female profiles. It's not a criticism or anything, I'm just saying. It's very interesting to see.

 - People do lie about their age but you can usually tell. There are people on Tinder who do indeed lie about their age. For the purposes of this month, I kept my parameters between 19-23 (my own age range) but there have been people who I've looked at and seen straight away that they're not 21 as they claim. What is interesting though, if you go on their profiles, many will admit their real age which, to me, seems somewhat counter-productive. I've come to the conclusion that most of them are about to turn the age they've put in their profile but are stipulating they are still a little younger for a time. But there have been some who have claimed to be 21 and are blatantly 16. Which worries me slightly but, hey, this is the 21st century?

- A lot of people on Tinder a much better travelled than me. The majority of people on Tinder either have photographs that contain endless selfies of them on nights out or with friends, or they are packed with photos from all across the world. Some hug elephants, some tombstone off a cliff and some hug African children. While I feel happy for them they've had these experiences, I can't help but feel jealous. And swipe left as a result.

- I've had 3 matches and they don't like my sense of humour. Admittedly, one of them was a friend at my uni and we did it to make each other feel better. But still, I've sent all 3 young ladies I've matched with a bad joke to see how they react. The first one, (a young lady by the name of Charlotte), I sent "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!". No response. The second one, (a young lady called Zoe), I sent "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!" Though she already knew the punchline. And made it clear she wasn't impressed at all. The third match, (my friend Kira), I sent "Do you have the Titanic soundtrack on your iPod? I will do, it's syncing now". Again, not impressed but she's used to my humour. I've come to 3 possible conclusions. 1, These ladies (with the exception of Kira) don't have a sense of humour. 2. They just wanted to flirt continually and I didn't submit to that. 3. (and the most likely), I'm just not that funny. Who knows.

- The men are pretty handsome. I'm open to the concept that one day I might meet a guy and fall in love with him, therefore I do not submit to a single sexuality. So, for a couple of days, I included men in my search just to see. While I wasn't attracted to any of them during that period, I can comment that they are aesthetically good specimens. If you're a woman or gay and on Tinder, I reckon you'll have fun trawling through the guy section. Just as much as guys and lesbians would have fun going through the female section. The best thing about Tinder is that it is very inclusive. There are no exceptions to Tinder. If you have a type, you'll probably find them on here.

- Finally, there will be people you knew from school and some of your friends on there. This both shocked me and didn't shock me at the same time. When I used it back home, I found a lot of people I knew from 2 local schools as well as good friends of mine. Some of whom I was genuinely surprised at. Today, I was using it and I found a friend from my uni on it, Someone who I genuinely didn't expect to find on there. Which was a nice surprise. But you will find people you know on there. So, if you're friends with them, swipe right. They'll probably swipe right for you too and it'll be an ice-breaker the next time you meet up. Plus it's another way to send stupid messages to your mates!

So, there you have it. My main findings about Tinder. I usually complain about the 21st Century but, for once, I've actually found a passing craze that's kinda fun. And a bit of harmless fun didn't hurt anyone. Right?

Until next time.

'Fantastic'

I have a plan to save the Fantastic Four...*

The Fantastic Four is, by far, one of Marvel's most popular and enduring comic series. Not only were they different to other superheroes at the time, they also saved Stan Lee's job as he'd previously planned to leave Marvel before the first issue was released. The first issue proved so popular he decided to stay. Or so the story goes.

However, within 10 years, we've had 3 feature film offerings and 1 missed film opportunity of the Fantastic Four. The 2005 and 2007 offerings starred Ioan Gruffudd as Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic, Jessica Alba as Sue Storm/Invisible Woman, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm/Human Torch and Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm/The Thing. Despite the promise of a big(ish) budget from 20th Century Fox, it failed to impress despite a sequel with Galactus and the Silver Surfer as the antagonists and Doctor Doom appearing in both movies. The most recent film (with Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B Jordan and Jamie Bell), seems also not to have impressed many with many aspects of the original comic line up changed, including how they gain their powers. There was also a failed attempt in 1994 to bring the team to the big screen

Given that many reviews of the new movie are coming in, I think that many fans of the comics will start to wonder whether Fox can really deliver on the franchise as well as it thought it could and there might be the debate, as their was with Spiderman, as to whether it's time for the Fantastic Four to return to the MCU in some way, shape or form.

If the return to the MCU ever were to happen (and I think it will within a decade), I would like to offer a layout for a potential Netflix or ABC TV series for the Fantastic Four as, personally, I think a TV series might suit the team dynamic a bit better than another movie. (Although, if they were in the MCU, they could come into the films at any point!)

So here goes. My idea for a 13 episode Season 1.


Episodes 1-3 - Origin
Obviously, with new actors taking on the roles, we'd need to go through their origin story again. Episode 1 would focus more on about why the mission into space takes place, ending with the accident that give them their powers. Episode 2 would deal with the aftermath of the accident: their return to Earth, their reintroduction to society and the discovery of their powers. (Maybe even get SHIELD involved in making sure they're ok and keeping an eye on them. I'd imagine Coulson might find Reed a bit interesting). Episode 3 would then focus on the group recuperating in the Baxter building and Reed trying to help the group make sense of their powers. Johnny might discover his powers at this point by accident while driving a fast car maybe. Something which gains a lot of media attention. In between these, there would little nods to Latveria, where Victor von Doom is now the ruler. The first time we see Doom will be at the end of Episode 3 when the news of Johnny's abilities go global and reach Latverian TV where Reed Richard's face will also appear. This is where the camera pans to show Doom's mask on a chair and his disfigured face on show.

Episodes 4-11 - With Great Power...
It would be in Episodes 4 and 5 that we really see the Fantastic Four take on the mantle of heroes when a new threat appears that the Avengers don't appear to have the opportunity to stop so the team decides to have a go themselves, ultimately succeeding. (Possibly have Mole Man or Hydro-Man as the main antagonist for this). Episodes 6-9 would follow the same formula with different antagonists until, eventually, von Doom starts to make more of an appearance. The Fantastic Four will now be recognised around the globe (in keeping with the celebrity status of the characters in the comics) and will have personal repercussions for the group. (Reed and Sue's relationship, Ben's frustrations, Johnny's antics etc). During these episodes, there would also be visits from other characters in the MCU either as cameo or as crossover. Maybe Johnny could bump into Luke Cage in the street or the team could get a visit or request of help from Spiderman, Doctor Strange or Daredevil perhaps? If they returned to the MCU there's potential for so much in the way of crossovers.

Episodes 12-13 - Doom
It would be at this stage that it's revealed that Victor von Doom has been sponsoring the villains that have challenged the team until now and, given that the team have stopped them at every turn, Doom now feels it's time to take care of the team himself. Doom returns to New York and launches a physical attack on the Baxter Building before revealing himself to the team revealing his motives: to get his own back on Reed Richards for his facial disfigurement. Episode 12 will see the team start to fracture as Sue and Johnny try to get to the bottom of Reed and Victor's spat while Ben remains unusually quiet. Episode 13 will see the truth be revealed and the "final" between the Fantastic Four and Doctor Doom. (That depends on whether series 2 gets commissioned or not!)


Tone
See, I grew up with the 2005/2007 films and I love them for a number of reasons. While they were horrifically cheesy, they got the humour and the comic dialogue exactly right as far as I'm concerned. The tone would follow a similar trajectory, only the more serious aspects of the show would draw influences from Daredevil and Agents of Shield, in keeping with the Four's return to the MCU.

Cast

So, here's my idea for a cast were it commissioned tomorrow.

Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic - RICHARD ARMITAGE. Reed is sort of depicted as a "hot nerd" and I think Richard could pull this off quite well. His acting range is *fantastic* so would have no issue taking on the role of a slightly sexy geek. He also looks slightly younger than he is too so it would work for the Reed/Sue storyline.

Susan Storm/Invisible Woman - DANIELLE PANABAKER. I know she's already in the Flash but she wouldn't be the first actress to be in both DC and Marvel! She has the awkwardness that Sue sometimes exhibits but I've also seen her in much more serious roles too so I reckon she'd be great.

Johnny Storm/Human Torch - JAKE ABEL. Seeing as Sam and Dean probably won't bust Adam out of hell anytime soon, I reckon Jake has some time on his hands. Maybe he'd be up for a *hot* new role?

Ben Grimm/The Thing - STEVE PEACOCKE. Australian actor who recently left Home and Away might be up for a new role in the States? Already proving his physique in both Home and Away and the film Hercules, he would definitely be a physical fit for Ben Grimm. He can do both comical and intimidating. Maybe after some bulking up slightly, I reckon he'd be great at the whole thing.
































































So that's my pitch. Marvel, can I have a job now?

Let me know what you think. Maybe you can think of some better villains for the Four to face or some better actors to play different parts?

As always, let me know!


* There are obviously conditions...

Top 10 List: MOVIES

pum pum pum puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum pum!

So after writing about my favourite songs and songs that have affected my life, I think it's only fair I do movies. Here are my top 10 favourite movies...and why they are. Hope you likes these to. If not, fair enough. But please feel free to tell me yours! I'd love to know!


TEN- THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND (2006)

"I am the father of this nation, Nicholas. And you have most... grossly... offended your father..."

A strange film to start with, I grant you, but let me explain what it's about. James McAvoy plays Dr Nicholas Garrigan who is sent to 1970s Uganda to work as a doctor but later becomes the personal doctor to the Ugandan dictator Idi Amin (played by Forest Whitaker). As the film goes on, it delves further into Amin's murderous regime and how he brutally deals with domestic troubles while also showing how Garrigan starts to go against these ideas.

I love the film for two reasons. Firstly, it's historically based and people seem to forget Idi Amin in historical terms. His time as dictator of Uganda was fascinating as well as his charming and flamboyant personality. Secondly, Whitaker's portrayal as Amin is chilling. Whitaker switches between Amin's happier and darker sides in an instant which makes for wonderful and scary viewing at once. Especially when the film starts to show what happens to dissidents in his country...

NINE- FORREST GUMP (1994)

"Run, Forrest, run!"

Who can't love this film? It's too damn sweet! Tom Hanks is one of mt favourite actors and this film, for me, is definitely the best of his. (With the exception of two more that will feature on the list). For those who don't know, the film centres around the titular character. A man with special needs who can't use his legs properly until, one day, he manages to run away from bullies. But not only could he run, he was one of the fastest men alive. What he lacked in intelligence, he made up for in speed. The film then sees Forrest get caught up in many historical events including the Civil Rights movement, JFK and ultimately, Vietnam.

I love the film because Forrest is just a funny character and he's one of the most best characters to impersonate ever. MY MOMMA SAID LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. Also, the way in which they put Hanks into real footage of JFK and the Civil Rights is brilliant to. In one scene, it looks like Hanks is actually speaking to JFK asking to use the toilet. But even the non historical bits are well done. It's just a well written, acted and produced film.

EIGHT- PSYCHO (1960)

"No one really runs away from anything. It's like a private trap that holds us in like a prison. You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and we claw, but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch".

A masterpiece by Alfred Hitchcock. Not only is it perfectly creepy, but it also has some of the best scenes in cinema. The shower scene, the finale and the staircase scene. Every single frame of the film is perfectly crafted for a reason and, to be honest, I don't care the reason. It follows a young lady who runs away from her job after stealing $40,000 from her job and ends up at the sinister Bates Motel who's run by Norman, a man who is dominated by his mother. However, when the lady goes missing, people start to come looking and end up at the motel themselves, only to discover a very sinister secret.

As I've said, it's just perfect. When I first saw it it really kept me on my toes and every moment excited me. And Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates is just perfection. I strongly recommend it. If it's not your thing then don't, but if it is, you have to see this. It's a classic for a reason. Hitchcock is a visionary.

SEVEN- THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

"Why so serious!?"

The first superhero movie on this list (not that I think Batman should be called a 'superhero'). Considering the past Batman films, Nolan's wonderful take on the Caped Crusader is by far the most popular and, the second in the trilogy, The Dark Knight is often stated as the best. I agree. In the film, a madman known as the Joker starts to terrorize Gotham by stealing banks and causing general mischief, until the Joker himself starts a one man war against the Batman. Eventually, Batman starts to get in over his head, especially when the love of his life, Rachel, becomes the target of the Joker. Which then shows that the Joker is the least of Batman's problems.

In this film, the late Heath Ledger plays the Joker, which angered many at first but is now considered one of the best ever Jokers on screen. His psychopathic and deadpan acting makes Heath Ledger unique in the Joker alumni because he is the darkest Joker to date. Cesar Romero was more of a clown, Jack Nicholson was more of a gangster but Heath Ledger was just batshit crazy. (No pun intended). Bale's Batman also works for the film but I think it's fair to say that Ledger is the main spectacle. (He's my favourite part of the film anyway!)

SIX- THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)

"Hello, Clarice..."

Forget the TV show, this was Hannibal Lecter's first rodeo. Anthony Hopkins brings the psychotic cannibal to life alongside Jodie Foster's Clarice Starling who's recruited to bring a murderer who skins his victims into custody. However, not only does Starling find it hard to deal with the charming Hannibal Lecter, she also has to cope with the fact that Lecter escapes after helping her too.

I'm not keen on this genre usually but this film stands out because of Anthony Hopkins. He's already such a diverse actor but in this film he really gets his creep on. What makes it better is that, sometimes, it looks like Jodie Foster is actually creeped out herself by Hopkins which makes the dynamic between them even better to watch. It's a shame that Foster didn't return for the second film but, for this moment, Silence of the Lambs is a film that's all about chemistry and taste. Especially if your taste is human skin.

FIVE- AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (2012)

"Doth mother know, you weareth her drapes...?"

Probably one of THE best superhero movies of all time. The first ultimate Marvel geek-out since X Men 1. Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye and Black Widow all team-up to take down Loki, who is attempting to subjugate the Earth with an alien army called the Chitauri (who we later find out is an army controlled by the mad titan Thanos). While Loki appears to win the battle, the Avengers decide he will not win the war. This ultimately leads to a massive battle in New York, which continues to shape the MCU to this day with the Battle referenced in Iron Man 3, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Thor: The Dark World, Agents of SHIELD, Daredevil and more.

As a comic book nerd, this is the film that got me into comics (even though I prefer DC). But still, the dialogue is just fantastic, funny and meaningful. Especially when Iron Man and Thor first meet. It's also clever in how the story continues like a comic book, something which DC are yet to instigate. Marvel are dominating the comic book movie industry and this film shows you exactly why.

FOUR- GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (2014)

"I am Groot"

Beating the Avengers is the MCU's Space Avengers, The Guardians of the Galaxy. Peter Quill, or Star-Lord, becomes embroiled in the designs of a Kree who is not happy with his planet's recent peace treaty with a rival world, causing him to try and get an Infinity stone in order to destroy it. Leading Quill, an assassin named Gamora, a tree named Groot, a raccoon named Rocket and a blue body-builder named Drax to team up and take him down.

Much like Avengers, the script is gold, as is the soundtrack. The dialogue in this film however is slightly more adult compared to the Avengers which leads to more adult jokes (for example, there's a comment about Quill's ship being as dirty as a Jackson Pollock painting, which is borne out of Quill discussing his promiscuous lifestyle). But the film is made by the comments between Drax and Rocket who are both too sassy for his own good. Though Drax has attracted many Autistic fans who can relate to him which gives the film an added layer of awesome. And that soundtrack though...

THREE- SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (1998)

"FUBAR!"

Number 3 is another Tom Hanks movie. Which, to me, is only one better than Forrest Gump. From Vietnam back to World War II just as D-Day gets underway, Tom Hanks leads a platoon across France to retrieve a Private Ryan (played by Matt Damon) who has somehow got himself a free pass out of the war after two of his brothers are KIA.

Although the film is very American, and implies that the Americans single-handedly won World War II, it is a sweet film which shows the comrade-ship that would've been present at that time. The relationship between the group is very brother-like, despite the fact all of them are disillusioned as to why Ryan gets to go home and they don't. It's been one of my favourite films since I was 13 when I first saw it and it remains one of them to this day.

TWO (I)- GOOD WILL HUNTING (1997)

"Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself."

Joint second is a film I saw quite recently for the first time but it did have a very profound impact on me. I saw the film a week after Robin Williams sadly killed himself. Before seeing this, I hadn't seen many of William's serious roles. In fact, Dead Poet's Society is the most serious I'd seen him and I was much more used to his sillier roles like Jumanji, Patch Adams and Ramon in Happy Feet. But it was in this film that I truly appreciated Williams as an actor. I'd always loved him and I always found him amazing but I didn't truly understand how brilliant he really was until I saw him as Sean MacGuire.

In the film, Williams plays a man who attempts to help a mathematically gifted janitor realise is full potential but the pair clash and MacGuire has to become much more rigid in order to get through to him. Throughout the film, I was just completely gobsmacked at the chemistry between Matt Damon (Will Hunting) and Williams who seemed to completely bounce off each other with perfection. The chemistry between Damon and Ben Affleck (who plays Will's best friend) was to be expected given they are best friends in reality but the chemistry between Damon and Williams is just phenomenal and a true genius stroke.

TWO (II)- MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM (2013)

"It is an ideal for which I am prepared to die"

The film about the life of Nelson Mandela. I saw this in the cinema a week after he died and it struck me as strange for many reasons. 1) 2 of the 3 girls I went to the cinema with didn't know what Mandela was famous for. 2) The start of the film (which was in post-production months before Mandela actually died) sounds like he was already dead. 3) They definitely went with the black defense for Sharpeville which shocked me slightly. But Idris Elba as Mandela was a surprisingly good choice. Elba portrayed him very well, as did Naomie Harris as Mandela's long-suffering wife, Winnie. The film, while highlighting the much juicier parts of his life, also delves more into his personal life, some of which many people may not have known. Did you know for example he cheated on his first wife? I didn't before seeing that. It showed Nelson in a slightly more human light rather than just showing him as the Elder Statesman that people still view him as to this day.

Given that Mandela is my favourite person from history, it seems natural that the film is up there but I'm glad that the team behind it really paid close attention and detail to his struggle and the effects it had both on him, his family and the country of South Africa as a whole. It was very well produced and that's why I love it.

One- THE GREEN MILE (1999)

"I helped it. Didn't I help it? I just took it back, is all. Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired".

Now, my favourite film of all time is a Tom Hanks film. The Green Mile. A story set in an American Death Row prison where a strange black inmate starts to affect events with his mysterious gift, while facing the death penalty for the murder of two girls which no one is really sure he didn't commit. What makes this film special for me is how Michael Clarke Duncan portrays his character and how the viewer starts off disliking him because he's on death row, and then eventually falling in love with him because he's such a lovely man who can't possibly have done what they say he did.

Despite this, the film is both graphic and clever. Not only is there a death scene which is extremely graphic (after a guard messes up the death process and commits overkill) but it's also clever in how it all comes full circle at the end. I watched this film on my own in the dark a few years ago while mum was out and I certainly did not regret it.

So there we have it. Feel free to tell me yours! I'm certainly hoping Iska might...your new challenge Iska...good luck :P