An Autistic twentysomething who's just screaming out at the world until someone listens. All opinions are my own. I can't promise an intelligent conversation but I can promise you might want to hit me at times.
Go, Star-Lord...
So, I'm going to go and say it. The Guardians Of The Galaxy Awesome Mix Volume 1 soundtrack, imo, is the best soundtrack of this year. True music that really gets us singing and that's good for the soul. However, at the end of GOTG, we see that Peter Quill's mother's gift to Peter just before she dies is a new cassette tape. 'Awesome Mix Vol.2'. Now, while it's fairly obvious that AMV2 will appear in GOTG2, many people are creating their own playlists showcasing what they think should be on the next cassette tape.
Given that this is happening, I started pondering what I would put on AMV2 were I the music director for the film. So, here's my list.
1. 'Old Time Rock And Roll' by Bob Seger
For some reason, I can just imagine Quill listen to this while the other Guardians put their fingers in their ears. However, this song covers the sentiment of Awesome Mix Vol.1, a lot of which had numerous rock elements to it. It also fits the criterion of the songs that would appear on these cassettes. (The fact that Peter's mum died in 1988 so basically anything she'd have listened to as a teen and just before Peter was born. So this would be a good addition because it adequately covers all of Awesome Mix Vol.1. To me anyway.
2. 'Go Your Own Way' by Fleetwood Mac
Again, it fits the criterion but it's also something slightly different to AMV1. Fleetwood didn't appear on AMV1 but this song would be good for an intro sequence perhaps, showing what the Guardians have done since the first film. Also, who doesn't like Fleetwood? Rumours is a personal favourite album of mine so it made sense for this song. which is their most commercial and one of their most famous, to be included on my list.
3. 'Baba O'Riley' by The Who
Now, let's get some British-ness in here shall we? This song would adequately sum up the Guardian's experience in space. "I don't need to fight to prove I'm right, I don't need to be forgiven" is in some ways the mantra of the Guardians themselves so this song works perfectly in that aspect. Also, being released in 1971, it's very possible this would've come out in Miss Quill's formative years. The Who were big around this time and it's one of the two songs from this album that have been praised. So it'd make a good song for those reasons.
4. 'A Horse With No Name' by America
A bit of a boring choice but I think it could work. Not one of my favourite songs ever but I think it could work on the soundtrack just to give it some variety. Used for a more sombre scene perhaps. Or perhaps we'll see Chris Pratt copy his new Ninja Cowboy Viking vibe for GOTG2?
5. 'Crazy Train' by Ozzy Osbourne
The only metal song on this playlist. I know it might seem odd to put Ozzy in this sequence but I think Crazy Train would be an interesting addition. Released in 1980, it fits the criterion but I also think that it could work for a ship scene. Possibly at the end? Either way, I just think it would make a weird yet workable addition to the soundtrack. I might be wrong but that's just my opinion! Feel free to disagree!
6. 'Seven Seas Of Rhye' by Queen
Ok, I'm a massive Queen fan and I couldn't help but put one of their songs on. I saw one playlist which suggested having Bohemian Rhapsody in AMV2 but I think that'd be too obvious a choice. I think something a little more obscure in their back catalogue yet one that people will know would be a better option. Like this song which was effectively their first break-through single. Until Killer Queen and BoRap of course! Anyway, it's just a fun song. Don't you think? I CHALLENGE THE MIGHTY TITAN AND HIS TROUBADOURS...reference to Thanos?
7. 'Fool To Cry' by The Rolling Stones
Ok, I have a slight admission to make. I'd originally put a Beatles song in the list when I was first compiling it and I felt that, for balance sake, I need to put the Stones in it. Anyway, The Beatles got replaced with Ozzy but I like this song. It's a similar vibe to 10cc's 'I'm Not In Love' on AMV1 so I thought, instead of changing it, keep it. Also, this could be apt for the possibility that Quill meets his dad in GOTG2?
8. '20th Century Boy' by T.Rex
Let's face it, Quill is a 20th Century Boy. So it'd kinda be his anthem. Plus, Bolan is brilliant! I can imagine Peter's mum totally being a Bolan fan. The man's a legend! Plus, it's fun to listen to. Weird lyrics but fun to listen to! So why not. Bolan! Also, it's pure glam rock at its best!
9. 'Wuthering Heights' by Kate Bush
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Kate Bush!? The hell Josh!" But hear me out. It's a fun song to listen to and it kinda fits in with the instrumental criteria of AMV1. Although it's not lyrically related to ANYTHING on GOTG, I can imagine this song focussing on Gamora or something. Also, Kate Bush is awesome! Why would you not put Kate Bush on a soundtrack as prestigious as this. (Ok, I am fan-boying a little bit...)
10. 'It's A Long Way To The Top If You Wanna Rock And Roll' by AC/DC
You had this kind of rock on AMV1. So why not stick with the same theme? This song is awesome and, again, fits with the instrumental qualities of AMV1. Except now you have a big name on it. Not one of their most famous tracks but still a pretty awesome song. It's also a pretty bad-ass song anyway. I could imagine this as being somewhere near the end. Possibly the scenes going into the credits too or something.
11. 'Born To Run' by Bruce Springsteen
Another person I'm a fan of. I love Springsteen and I think that, this song in particular, should be on the mixtape. Admittedly, I did have an internal battle whether to choose this or Thunder Road as both would be apt but I eventually rationalised that this song would better suit the Guardians themselves. The open sky and a ship going anywhere in the galaxy. Also, this album in particular put Springsteen into the stratosphere. This song and Thunder Road are both kind of road trip-esque songs so it made sense to put this on!
12. 'Tiger Feet' by Mud
Finally, to top off this list of my own personal contributions to what could possibly be Marvel history, Les Gray and Mud with their hit 'Tiger Feet'. Again, glam rock, so it's very anthemic and just a bit of fun to listen to. I can imagine Rocket perhaps singing this one while Drax got confused with the metaphors. It also kind of follows the theme of The Runaways' 'Cherry Bomb' on AMV1 so we're still having little stylistic nods to the first soundtrack. I can imagine Groot rocking out to this at some stage. I reckon Groot would be good in a mosh or at a disco.
So yes, that concludes our broadcast day.
Feel free to criticise any choice I've made on here and suggest your own additions or replacements in the comments below!
"It’s been 10 years since he died. 10 years. Though it never feels like 10 years. It always feels like he died yesterday. Or the day before. It normally feels like yesterday to be honest. I can still remember the way he looked at me as he collapsed. I have nightmares about that face. I have dreams in which I saved him and caught him when he fell. But most times I just relive the moment over and over and it breaks my heart more each time. Every time the anniversary comes around it just feels like hours rather than years. It’s weird that, isn't it?
Of course, I'm not the only one who mourned. All our friend's mourned and all our family. Even some people in town that he'd helped over the years! He worked at the youth club at night for 30 years and he did odd jobs for people when they needed help. He was even mayor at one point! But there's a difference between the way I mourned him and how the town mourned him. The town remember him as John Kent: South African friend, handyman, youth worker, philanthropist who died at 77. But I remembered him as John Kent: South African human, husband, father, brother and soul-mate who died at 77. The town didn't know him like I did. Or how his children or his siblings did.
I still remember, even though I’m 87 and very old and losing my mind a bit, the first day I met John. It was February 1945 and it was a rainy day. I was waiting for a date actually. I wasn’t expecting much from it. Maybe a couple more dates, maybe even a bit of holding hands. Maybe something more but I didn’t dream of that. Anyway, we’re in this café in Morpeth. I’d seen John around but I hadn’t properly met him as I’d been off round the country making munitions for the war effort. I’m sat in the corner waiting for my date who never showed when John walks over to me. I look up at him and that was it. I was…amazed. He was so handsome that day. And he came over and he said to me “you seem to be on your lonesome, dear” so I confirmed his assumption to which he said “well, would you like some company?” and I suddenly felt star struck. I’d been slightly obsessed with this guy as I’d seen him around town in a uniform, and he was offering to keep me company after my date ditched me! That was a surreal moment. But I can honestly say that’s the moment I fell in love with him. I’d been dubious about love at first sight before that moment but then it happened and I believed. I still believe. And, as much as I love my life and my family, I can’t wait until I’m with him again. And I know he’d say the same were the tables turned…”
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"It’s been 10 years since she died. 10 years. Though it never feels like 10 years. It always feels like she died yesterday. Or the day before. It normally feels like yesterday to be honest. I can still remember the way she looked at me as she collapsed. I have nightmares about that face. I have dreams in which I saved her and caught her when she fell. But most times I just relive the moment over and over and it breaks my heart more each time. Every time the anniversary comes around it just feels like hours rather than years. It’s weird that, isn't it?
Of course, I'm not the only one who mourned. All our friend's mourned and all our family. Even some people in town that she'd helped over the years! She volunteered for the WI at night for 30 years and she did odd jobs for people when they needed help and helped with the carnival and with the rebuilding after the war. But there's a difference between the way I mourned her and how the town mourned her. The town remember her as Eleanor Kent: friend, volunteer, gardener, philanthropist who died at 77. But I remembered her as Eleanor Kent: human, wife, mother, sister and soul-mate who died at 77. The town didn't know her like I did. Or how her children or her siblings did.
I still remember, even though I’m 87 and very old and losing my mind a bit, the first day I met Eleanor. It was February 1945 and it was a rainy day. I was waiting for a friend actually. I wasn’t expecting much from it as they were awful with keeping time. Maybe a couple of drinks at the cafe and then at the pub. Perhaps even in the next village but I didn’t dream of that. Anyway, I'm in this café in Morpeth. I’d seen Eleanor around but I hadn’t properly met her as I’d been off on the base doing drills and basic training in case I was called up for the war. I’m stood at the counter waiting for my friend who never showed when I see Eleanor in the corner on her own. So I walked over to her. I look down at her and that was it. I was…mesmerized. She was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my 19 years. I said to her “you seem to be on your lonesome, dear”. She confirmed this assumption to which I said “well, would you like some company?” She said yes and I suddenly felt star struck. I’d been slightly infatuated with this girl as I’d seen her around town in a stunning red dress one time, and I was sitting with her after my friend ditched me! That was a surreal moment. But I can honestly say that’s the moment I fell in love with her. I’d been dubious about love at first sight before that moment but then it happened and I believed. I still believe. And, as much as I love my life and my family, I can’t wait until I’m with her again. And I know she’d say the same were the tables turned…”
Here we go...
Last year, I made a post where I crowned my own personal song of the year. Not that it matters a dime but, as a musician and music fan, I'm always on the look out for new songs to fall in love. So, I've compiled my favourite new songs from this year to crown a number 1. Last year's champion was from British tech metal group 'TesseracT' with a song called Resist which I praised for its slow start but brilliant gradual build-up and eventual breakdown at the end.
However, this year's winner is a different song entirely. But let's have a look at the shortlist for this year.
1. 'Free' by Brent Walsh 2. 'Yellow Flicker Beat' by Lorde 3. 'Blank Space' by Taylor Swift 4. 'Edge Of A Revolution' by Nickelback 5. 'Something From Nothing' by Foo Fighters 6. 'Come On Over' by Royal Blood 7. 'All About That Bass' by Meghan Trainor 8. 'I'm Not The Only One' by Sam Smith 9. 'Let Me In Your Heart Again' by Queen
Now, I must admit, even though a few of these are pop songs, I've really enjoyed them for some reason this year. I can't explain why I've just enjoyed them.
However, the song I've picked as my song of the year this year has many reasons behind why I've picked it. Here are some of them:
- The moment I heard it, I fell in love with it. It just sat well with me.
- It's not what I'd normally listen to so I was pleasantly surprised when I heard it and realised I liked it.
- The production on the song is incredible. The instrumental is somewhat minimal but it's effective for the song.
- The song features one of my new all-time favourite lyrics. "I'm locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me". Despite the fact this artist is known for this type of song, I just love that lyric. I just love the semantics around it.
- I can relate to it on a certain level.
Now, I have to admit, when I heard that new Queen songs were being released, I automatically thought that the lead single, 'Let Me In Your Heart Again', would be my song of the year because I'm such a Freddie fan-boy. But sadly, it's only second! I do feel like I'm cheating on Freddie slightly with my choice but hey, I'm human. So I'll share it anyway just because it's Freddie but it didn't hit me as hard as the song I have chosen.
So here it is. But before I do, people who know me well might be surprised by this decision. But please remember I do have a very eclectic music taste and I only happened to come across it by chance initially anyway. So here it is.
My song of the year 2014 is:
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'Yellow Flicker Beat' by Lorde
I just find the song nice to listen to. I've always been keen on Lorde and this one just does it for me. So I'm sorry Freddie, you'll always be my favourite. It's just Lorde beat you this time round.
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Oh, and here's the Queen song just because IT'S FREAKING QUEEN :D
I've refrained from talking about you for some time as, in the greater scheme of things, you're really not worth the energy. But I'm really pissed off at this so I'm gonna vent.
Katie Hopkins.
You are possibly the most annoying, hypocritical and opinionated woman in the country. The woman who makes Jeremy Clarkson look like Jesus. The woman who thought it was stupid to name your child after a place despite having a daughter called India. The woman who criticised the McCanns and who described Margaret Thatcher as "prey". (I don't like Thatcher, but you and I both know she was anything but).
Well, now, it appears you've crossed (another) line. So much so; people are calling for your arrest. And, imo, quite rightly so.
Over the past few days, you have put some vile things up in Twitter that have targeted Muslims, Palestinians and Ebola victims. Let's look at what you've said shall we?
"Palestinians busy knifing Israelis. 2 state solution my arse. Filthy rodents burrowing beneath Israel. Time to restart the bombing campaign".
I'm going to concentrate on just this one because that's the one that pissed me off most.
Ok. Firstly, you're effectively regurgitating what Joan Rivers said before she died. Just because she's gone, it doesn't mean you are her rightful successor. Also, not that I'm justifying what Rivers said, but Rivers had more of a personal connection to the situation compared to you on the account she was Jewish and, yes, Hamas have killed some Israeli Jews hence her annoyances. But secondly, you seriously need to read up on the history. I know you've made comments in the past how Britain's good and stuff, but did you know we're partially responsible for the creation of the Israeli state?
After the end of the First World War and the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire, Palestine became a British Mandate (also after our conquest of Syria). In the following years following the Balfour Declaration of 1917 which favoured the establishment of a Jewish national home in Palestine (taken from US Department of State's Office of History website), there was an influx of Jewish refugees into the region which happened well into the Second World War and beyond.
Now, after the Second World War, the Americans were keen on the idea of a Jewish state to be created but refused to without consulting other Arab regions in the immediate area. The UK opposed this initially as it wanted to maintain control of Palestine as well as good political and economic ties in the region. However, to cut a long story short, after talk of division in the state itself, a UN resolution and the official recognition of Israel as a state.
The Palestinians did not ask for us or the Americans to intervene in their geo-politics and effectively doom them to almost unending conflict.
And also, don't paint ALL Palestinians with the same brush you stupid woman. I personally pro-Palestine in the whole Israel v Palestine, but in the context of pro-Palestine-population. (I'm not keen on Hamas personally speaking). I'm also not naive in realising that Hamas don't do awful things as well as the Israelis. There have been reports of Hamas using citizens as human shields which I think are very likely but Hamas as a para-military wing and the Palestinian population as a whole are two separate entities. Whether it's true or not that some Palestinians have stabbed Israelis, that would be, at most, a small group and not a group that represents the actions or wishes of the whole Palestinian people. And what's your proposed response to an isolated knife attack? Bombs. Because that's measured.
The truth is Katie, you may not realise it or indeed want to realise it but you're actually promoting and condoning the killing of a people in what is effectively a slow genocide.
Using your logic, we should bomb every town in the UK where there's a stabbing.
Do you see how silly that sounds?
Just because there's a conflict in the West Bank, it doesn't change the dynamic so much that the logic you're using becomes the dominant thought process.
God forbid you ever get in charge of a country or a military. I'm aware you attended Sandhurst for a time, I'm also aware why you stood down from it. But I think that might have been for the best in the long run if that's your mentality during a war.
If you don't want people to like or respect you, then carry on saying what you're saying because you're succeeding at that with flying colours. But if you DO want people to like or respect you, then clean up your act and actually form considered and educated arguments for a change rather than just saying provocative and ill-thought-out comments. Because you're not a nice woman. And when you say things like this, a very touchy subject to many, people do hate you more. Which every time we don't think that's possible, you prove us wrong. And also, please explain to us what you think gives you the right to say what you want and think that you can get away with it? Because I'm intrigued to know what goes on inside your head. And god forbid your kids pick up your opinions quite frankly.
Anyway. You seriously need to think about what you say before you say it. Because you're not a popular woman, you're not nice and you're not widely-respected either. So stop with the whole God complex thing?
Or: "Moffat Needs To Go [Part One]"
If you've watched the 8th series of (New) Doctor Who, you'll have noticed 3 things.
1. Peter Capaldi is an excellent Doctor who has matured over the series. He has the right mix of hero and alien with some darker elements too. 2. Clara has really come into her own. Whether you like her or not, a few episodes have been strong for her. 3. The writing has gotten progressively worse. (Namely with the stories Steven Moffat has had a heavy involvement in).
Now seeing as, for the Brits, the series ended about an hour ago, I'd like to review Part One series (Episodes 1-7) in my own opinion*. So let's start right back in August.
8.1:DEEP BREATH (by Steven Moffat) - In which a dinosaur spits out the Tardis in Victorian London, we learn Strax can throw as well as Abu Hamza playing cricket and the Clockwork Droids return but the Doctor refuses to recognise David Tennant's existence. The first episode of a new Doctor. What can we expect? Humour? Regeneration energy? Confused associates? HOW ABOUT A BIG ASS DINOSAUR IN VICTORIAN LONDON (WHICH THE DOCTOR ATTEMPTS TO FLIRT WITH), AN OBSESSION WITH OXYGEN RETENTION AND ATTACK EYEBROWS!? Sound good to you? Yes Peter Capaldi's first adventure as the Time Lord was a rushed story which started with the, somewhat, usual story of the regeneration affecting the Doctor weirdly which then progressed with the Doctor running off after his beloved dinosaur spontaneously combusted before finally returning in a homeless guy's outfit in a restaurant run by Moffat's creepy creations, the Clockwork Droids. After a long dialogue and realisation scene, the Doctor runs away, leaving Clara to play detective before magically rescuing her and possibly committing murder. It's a roller coaster of an episode if you can look past the shocking writing, the thinly veiled attempts at humour by exploiting Strax's Sontaran impulses and the fact Capaldi is actually kind of absent in this episode, it's not bad. The best thing about it for me was the inter-species-lesbian-kiss-come-life support. But THAT got the most complaints. Hmm. JOSHUA'S RATING: 5/10 8.2: INTO THE DALEK (by Phil Ford and Steven Moffat) - In which the plot to Innerspace is somewhat plagarised but instead of being injected into an unsuspecting man in a lift, they're injected into a faulty Dalek. Who seems to recover by the flick of a switch and we meet Danny Pink, another character you have a limited time to fall in love with before something bad happens to him. OH MY GOD. THEY'RE GOING INSIDE A DALEK. WE'RE GOING TO SEE DEEPER INTO A DALEK. OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EXCITING. Oh wait. This is like 'Journey To The Centre Of The Tardis' and a let down. So much promise. The Doctor, Clara and a few other people get miniaturized and put inside a Dalek to repair it after it claims that the Daleks are evil and need to die. (Seriously, why would you try to fix that? Use it as an ally ffs). Anyway, we find out that the Dalek has an immune system that can kill. (Because obviously Davros foresaw the exploration of Daleks in the distant future). So, to test it, the Doctor tricks someone into dying before eventually working out how to get around it. After the team unwittingly turn the Dalek's evil mode back on, the Doctor attempts to have a mental struggle with it so that it would re-convert back to its good self. Although this may all sound good on paper, it was actually very poorly written, very rushed, and a bit of a disappointment. JOSHUA'S RATING: 2/10 8.3: ROBOT OF SHERWOOD (by Mark Gatiss) - In which the Doctor gets proven wrong about the existence of Robin Hood, Gold seems to be the main plot device and there's a distinct lack of Jonas Armstrong**. In my opinion, the first decent episode of the series. Clara decides she wants to meet Robin Hood, but the Doctor rebuffs the idea and decides to be proven wrong. However, it appears Clara's right and he does exist although the Doctor disputes that he's actually a robot until the last 10 minutes of the episode. Although the premise seems a little unimpressive, the writing, directing and filming is absolutely brilliant as well as the acting. Tom Riley, who plays Hood, does an excellent portrayal of the legendary hero of Sherwood Forest and Ben Miller, who plays the Sheriff of Nottingham, also performs an excellent role, although a little under-used I think. Capaldi plays the Doctor as a very prickly character in this episode but it works well with the dialogue between him and Riley, especially in the dungeon scene. However, it is hard to look past the fact that, despite Robin pining for Marion, he's happy to chase Clara who practically goes fan-girl for the story. Also, if you go to the Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff and see one of the robots up close, it really makes you appreciate the upward camera shot. Very humorous, very creative and definitely one of the more entertaining episodes of the series. JOSHUA'S RATING: 7/10 8.4: LISTEN (by Steven Moffat) - In which this stereotypical Moffat story has everything you'd expect. Questions, more questions, and a real mind-bender of the concept of time and reality by all accounts. As you may have noticed by now, I'm not a huge fan of Moffat's writing for Doctor Who. 'The Day Of The Doctor' was, by all accounts, phenomenal, (though I do have qualms) but I find most of his writing as show-runner stupid, terrible and reckless. However, when I saw the trailer for this episode, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt as it looked quite good. This is why I have trust issues. The start of it, and the basic idea of the antagonist, was good. Something under your bed, a primal human fear (which I seemingly missed out on. I was more concerned about the Muppets running around my room at night...long story). And this was, at first, interestingly tackled. You had the scene with young Danny Pink in a childrens home who was scared of something under his bed. When Clara investigates, something appears in the bed looking very creepy indeed. Now, this was great! If it wasn't for the fact that we kept having scenes with Clara on failed dates with Danny Pink or that we suddenly got ORSON Pink who was a time-travel pioneer despite the fact that we'd already met one in 'Hide' a year previously. So now we get an implied notion that Orson is a relative of Danny Pink and, perhaps, Clara! (Remember that, this becomes important when I cover the finale...) The end of the episode shows that, for one person, Clara is under the bed. But as for everyone else in existence, WHO FREAKING KNOWS. WE NEVER GET TOLD. Sleep tight, kids. JOSHUA'S RATING: 5/10
8.5: TIME HEIST (by Stephen Thompson and Steven Moffat) - In which the Doctor, Clara and two others attempt to rob the most secure bank in the universe under someone else's instruction. However, because it's Stephen Thompson and Steven Moffat writing it, it's guaranteed to screw you over once again. The first half of the series should have a tagline: "With the exception of Episode 3, this half of the series sounds good, but actually we could've spent more time making it so much better on screen!" From the man who brought you JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE TARDIS comes another mind bender that doesn't quite make sense and, is really, just a disappointing filler episode. It consists of the Doctor, Clara, a human Apple Mac and one of Charles Xavier's students on day release, all attempting to break into the Bank of Karabraxos, THE MOST IMPREGNABLE BANK IN EXISTENCE. Except they manage to do it because it's not much of an episode if they failed and, if Orange Is The New Black is anything to go by, Clara wouldn't survive long in prison. However, they go up against THE TELLER. A stereotypical Doctor Who alien who can unlock the greatest secrets of a person by reading their minds. Which unfortunately has the side effect of turning you into a human egg-cup once he's finished. The team must race against time in order to enter the Private Vault before the Teller catches them and, ultimately, kills them. But when they do, THE EPISODE UNRAVELS AND IT'S A KIND OF ENDLESS LOOP THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE BUT IT JUST PROVES WHAT A WASTED OPPORTUNITY THE ENTIRE EPISODE CAME TO BE. Ahem. Decorum regained. JOSHUA'S RATING: 4/10 8.6: THE CARETAKER (by Gareth Roberts and Steven Moffat) - In which we go back to where it all began, Coal Hill School. With little to no reference to the first two human companions on Doctor Who, the Doctor's granddaughter or the fact that the Doctor is somehow CRB checked. (And, trust me, that cannot fit into psychic paper). For all the stick I give Moffat, this episode was actually pretty good. It was in Coal Hill School, where the first Doctor Who companions from 1963 (Susan Foreman, Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton) all found themselves day after day. However, Clara is a teacher there. As is her boyfriend Danny Pink. But when the Doctor (somehow) gets the job of Caretaker, shit gets real. The Skovox Blitzer is in town and it's out for blood. But do we know where it's from or why? Not really no. All we know it's one of the worst machines ever created in the history of ever. But do we get a focus on it? No. Instead, we concentrate more on Clara's love life. The episode is humorous and has some good bits but it's mainly more about how Clara is lying to Danny (which becomes commonplace as the series goes on) and how he deals with the fact she's dating him while running around creation with a grey haired Scottish man. I'd call that mixed signals. However, it all wraps up quite nicely in a little bow and it's an entertaining romp. However, I can't help but think that the fact it's held in Coal Hill is to pacify the classic fans more than the nu-Who fans... JOSHUA'S RATING: 6/10 8.7: KILL THE MOON (by Peter Harness) - In which the Doctor, Clara and Hermione Norris arrive on the moon in an attempt to work out why it's cracking. And it turns out to be something that most Game of Thrones fans will scoff at vigorously. So. Simple. Go to moon, meet mutant spiders, avoid mutant spiders at all costs and blow up the moon. The only thing from this list they do complete without incident is 'Go to moon'. This episode features humanity at it's best/worst/most natural after a team of astronauts arrive in a shuttle with a hundred nuclear bombs on board ready to blow up the moon. Because a massive tsunami is threatening humanity's existence. What could possibly go wrong? It's Doctor Who, so, everything. The team attempt to work out what they're dealing with in the weirdest ways possible without being killed and consumed by the big-ass mutant spiders which aren't actually spiders. (Yup). However, at the end, we find possibly Doctor Who's most weirdest twist yet. THE MOON IS AN EGG CONTAINING SOME KIND OF DRAGON WHICH CAN ASEXUALLY REPRODUCE AT 10 SECONDS OF AGE. Only on Doctor Who could this make total sense and no-one bat an eye-lid. However, we also see the Earth condone the killing of an alien child buried in the moon on the risk it MIGHT cause them flood damage and make them lose their no claims bonuses. JOSHUA'S RATING: 6/10
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR SOME MORE CYNICAL REVIEWING AT THE HANDS ON YOURS TRULY WHERE I'LL (ATTEMPT***) TO EXPLAIN THE MUMMY, AN EPISODE SET IN BRISTOL NOT FILMED IN BRISTOL AND WHY I PERSONALLY HATE MOFFAT MORE AFTER TONIGHT'S SEASON FINALE.
Good night :)
*These opinions DO match the views of Writers Block and its affiliates. Namely me. **I realise only certain people will get this reference. If you do, fab! If not, isn't Google fantastic! ***If I can I deserve a f*****g medal.
