One Last Post About The New Year

10 years ago, I felt lonely, alien and sad. I was a sad little boy though you would never have guessed it. I was the weird child in my class. I had something called Autism and I had something that made me different. I always thought this would make me a target. And I was right. For years I was bullied on and off by people who couldn't understand me. And why should they. Why should they take the time to understand me when I couldn't even understand myself.

But that was 10 years ago. And a lot's changed in that 10 years.

I witnessed the tsunami of 2004
I got paranoid depression upon hearing an asteroid was coming towards Earth on March 21st 2014.
I got depressed over the Bird Flu Epidemic.
I started secondary school.
I became Agnostic.
I finally started to work out the world after re-watching the events of 9/11 and experiencing 7/7 as it unfolded in the media.
I hit adolescence.
I got my first girlfriend.
I saw my favourite Doctor regenerate. Something that still scars me.
I saw a new decade.
I made my first mistake when it comes to matters of the heart. One day I might even come to terms with that.
I had my first alcoholic drink.
I finished secondary school.
I started university.
I fell back into depression over the state of my life at that moment.
I came back from that.

I'm 20 years old this year. And something's dawned on me. I've been on this Earth for two decades now and I've seen it for what it is. But maybe it's time to change my viewpoint. Maybe I should look at the positives rather than the negatives. Raise my voice. Shout at the world. But not for what it does wrong, but for what's right about it.

Now I'm a proper adult it's time to act like one. Not let my teenage angsts and views get in the way of what really matters. We're on this planet for such a short time and instead of whinging and crying about trivial things it's time to see the world (and indeed life) for what it really is. Fleeting. Accept this and you'll never feel more alive.

Because now I know what I must do. Now that I'm completely comfortable within myself and have come to terms with who I am, and for once like who I am now, it's time to step out into the world. Another decade older, another decade wiser. The world is ours. Our generations. We have to do what we can to change it for the better. I'm ready to help if you are...

Look out world. Here I come...

So Many Places To See...

If you read my 2014 post, you'll see that I have a few plans for this year. But today, I'd like to make an addition to the list.

I had a bit of an argument with my mum yesterday about my plan to go to America for a semester. Because, well, my family aren't that well off. It's just me and my mum and neither of us really earn that much between us. And, obviously, going to America costs money. A LOT of money. And, as much as I'd like to go, it's going to be tricky.

I could apply to various places to receive grants and stuff from but my mum wants me to go down a particular avenue which I'm reluctant to do because going down that avenue has caused trouble in the past and I'd rather not go through that again.

So, although I will still try and go across the pond (as I REALLY want to do this, see things and go meet people) I also have to accept that I will either not be accepted to go by the uni or it just won't be financially viable to. And, as much as this saddens me, I just have to accept that and move on from it.

HOWEVER. Because I'm trying not to be sad and look for SO many more positive things in my life, I have devised a kind of plan. I will save up to go to America until such a point when it's confirmed otherwise. And if I don't, I'll have some spare money. So here's an idea as to what I could do with it.

1. My wonderful Scottish cousin is getting married in October and I've been invited up to attend. I'd LOVE to go for many reasons. Firstly, I don't go to many weddings and I like weddings. Secondly, I haven't seen my cousin since 2007 when I went to stay with her in Ireland and, thirdly, I've somehow never been to Scotland and I've always wanted to.

2. I had a dream last night that I got a job teaching History and Politics in St Helier, Jersey! And it got me thinking. I've never been to the Channel Islands. I've looked up Jersey and it looks WONDERFUL. So maybe a weekend trip to St Helier might be in order? I haven't looked at the cost yet but it's worth looking into no?

OBVIOUSLY I'll still try to go to America until it's no use but there's no harm in having a back up plan right?


If you had some spare money from a failed plan, where would you choose to go?

See you next time!

How To Joke Like A Kiwi

So, my friend from New Zealand, (http://acrystalsscrapbook.blogspot.co.uk/), has been sending me lots of stuff about New Zealand over the past couple of days. It started with a report on the terrible Marmite Shortage (That's not the joke, that was real) and it kind of descended into slightly racist humour between Kiwis and Aussies. But there was one joke that really tickled me. It's not overly racist, it's just very clever and the punchline, although slightly predictable now that I think about it, had me in stitches. But to be balanced, I will also share an Aussie joke she shared with me too.

So for all you Kiwis and Aussies, here are a couple of jokes.

Kiwi Joke

A Pom, an Aussie and a Kiwi are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able successfully to appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”

The Pom was first. He thought for a while, then said, “Please tie a pillow to my back.”

This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the Pom had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Aussie was next up. After watching the Pom’s horror, he said smugly, “Please fix two pillows to my back.” But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Aussie was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The Kiwi was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, “You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!”

“Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness,” the Kiwi replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes.”

“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave,” the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish”?

“Tie the Aussie to my back..."

Aussie Joke

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.

"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."

PM: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"

Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad... Brutain?..."

PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"

Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"

PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."

Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"

Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need.

Three days later a plane arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.

A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and ivery one.........

MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM

I love knowing a Kiwi.

See you next time!