On The Offensive...

Think Before You Write

One of the greatest and worst things about humanity is the ability to disagree with someone else. It's both a blessing and a curse. Because, let's face it, it'd be a very boring world if we agreed on everything. It'd be no fun!

"I BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD TAKE THE EAST INDIA COMPANY OUT OF THE BRITISH HISTORY CURRICULUM!" "So do I!"

But there are obviously things in which disagreement can turn badly. I know many of you will say that politics generally is like that but I meant at an individual level. And, with your patience, I'd like to explain a couple of recent incidents.

I'm very prone, as are many people, so saying some things that are insensitive without meaning to. And this could be for one of two reasons.

1. I just didn't think

or

2. Some people are over-sensitive.

Sometimes, more often than not, it's a mixture of the two.

The first example happened today when I shared a page for a growing history festival that happens 45 minutes down the road from me. I attended the festival 2 years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. I attended a lecture on the collapse of Hitler's Germany by one of the most respected experts in the field and it blew my mind.

Anyway. A colleague from work mentioned that he didn't go near anything that had the name "Daily Mail" attached to it. I explained they were only a sponsor. He then replied that he didn't need to go because his dad was, and I quote, "A walking history encyclopedia". I then responded with "Not a bad thing to be! And no disrespect to you dad when I say this, but authors attend and experts in most fields lecture at this."

Little did I know that his dad is an archaeologist. And has been for 30 years...

It was an insensitive comment to make anyway but, quite rightly, he put me in my place by telling me about his dad.

I emailed him later on and apologized explaining I meant do disrespect to him or his father. He understood and we agreed that I didn't know beforehand so it was all laid to rest. 

This is a time when I can be offensive accidentally. This happens more than I'd like but sadly it's something that does happen and I have to deal with it as and when.

HOWEVER. There are times I can be offensive and not care so much. And that normally happens when I get political with someone or when someone gets political with me.

If you've read my letter to "Patrick", you'll know that I try and respect most people even if they don't necessarily respect me. But something else happened tonight which I could really go into an argument about.

A friend of mine from uni shared a link from her friend which was a petition to get the Education Secretary, Michael Gove, to teach in a school for a term in order to get a real idea of what he's doing. I signed and shared it proudly and so did some of my other friends all offering ideas of where he could go to complete his work experience.

I always thought though that Facebook was a bit of a minefield for expressing opinion, Because someone's always going to disagree with something you say or just look to start an argument. However, if tonight has taught me anything, that minefield is actually Twitter. I shared the link to the petition on Twitter with a subtitle which, in hindsight, was likely to attract trouble. And I think it may have.

An old acquaintance from school, who I know is a fervent Conservative after a half hour debate with him over Jacob Rees-Mogg, took me to task on the idea of the petition by suggesting that I believed it was a good idea that he does this, leaving the Department of Education without its boss for a short time. Before suggesting I believed that this would be beneficial to schools.

To try and make a joke out of this, I replied "Yes".

ASKING FOR TROUBLE.

I thought if I tried to make a joke about it the whole thing would be diffused and it would just move on. No such luck. He took me to task once again but asking if I seriously believed that to be true. Saying that "It will stop any important decisions being made".

I eventually responded that it was all a bit of fun and wasn't ever going to happen so there was no point in worrying about it. However, I really wanted to take him on by saying:

"Stop them? He started?!

But I didn't. Because, considering the slur I had earlier, I really didn't want to push anything any further.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, sometimes I may reply to a comment you may leave or I might comment on something you post and it might not sound right or nice. PLEASE believe me when I say that it is not my intention to offend you. The only time I will ever try and offend you is if you try and offend me. Which, considering I probably don't know you all that well, I'd hope you wouldn't try to. 

But if I do say something that does offend or upset you, please tell me so I can do my best to correct it and apologize. I try to be a nice guy generally and I don't like upsetting people so please let me know if I inadvertently upset you?

Thank you.

Until next time!


POST SCRIPT EDIT

I do enjoy political debates with people who don't agree with me. It's nice to have some verbal sparring with someone who's at the complete polar opposite end to the political spectrum. But sometimes it just can descend into more personal arguments.

At the end of the day, I completely disagreed on many things with the person I sparred with and he obviously disagreed with me. (Calling me a lefty at one point). But we still respected each other at the end of the day and that's what makes debating fun.

The joke's on him though. I'm not a lefty. I'm a liberal.

Ha.

The Cost Of Dreams?

There's a pattern developing here.

"The Cost Of..." is becoming some kind of trilogy...anyway.

So I've been doing some thinking very seriously about what this year's going to bring me. And, as I'll have to think about for the rest of my life, finances are going to be a big issue. This year, the following is going to happen.

- Tuition Fees (and other University Related Debts).

- Food shopping. (As I'm more than convinced that the cost of living is going to increase with little to no help from Westminster).

- Student House! (I actually get a proper address and a working fire alarm that doesn't go off when I cook bacon!)

And so, it is with regret, that America will have to wait. I've ALWAYS wanted to go to America. And I could've done for two different reasons. I could've gone on a holiday camp thing where I'd have worked with kids with special needs do awesome activities and I could've studied for a semester in Missouri. However, I was put off the camp thing by a meeting I went to about it and going to Missouri for a semester is going to cost an arm and a leg. 

And possibly a vein...

But I'm not sad! I'm not sad that I can't go to America. Actually, that's a lie. I'm quite upset about it because I REALLY wanna go to America. But the truth is, I can't justify the cost of it with more important stuff happening here in the UK. The cost of living is going up by the month and I need to pay the rent somehow!

Because the cost of my dream here will exceed £7000 roughly. (Yeah. See what I mean?)

So, America will have to wait for now. Maybe I'll try again for that camp thing next summer (as that is considerably cheaper than spending a whole semester in America). (Plus you get to travel). 

But as I mature further, I have to realise and accept that any dream I have will either be met with such resistance and/or never come to fruition. This is just one of them. Or at least, it's post-poned...

On the plus side, as I've got some money going spare to go to Jersey! AND I'll hopefully be able to go see my cousin get married in Scotland!

And who knows, Scotland might officially be a foreign country by then...

So, the moral of this post is this:

Always try and follow your dreams. Unless you're strapped for cash. Then just put it on hold until such a time you get adequate income.

Until next time!

*POST SCRIPT EDIT*

I've also realised with the money I have left over, I can go and see the two friends I want to see in their uni digs. So look out Exeter and High Wycombe. Imma coming for ya...

The Cost Of Happiness?

So I've spent the last few days celebrating the fact that, for once, things are going my way. I don't yet have a girlfriend, I'm not yet in America and I don't yet have a holiday booked for Jersey but that's not what I mean. For once in my life, I'm completely comfortable in my own skin and I'm happy with who I am. Something which will remain for a long time I hope!

But this is new for me. For most of my life I've tried to make sure everyone else is happy before I am. Often (in fact nearly always) at the cost of my own comfort and happiness. And although I'll continue to do that whenever I can, I can leave the happiness bit to one side. Because right now is an oasis of calm and joy in a normally depressing world.

Despite this, I've also realised over the past 48 hours that my happiness will also come at the cost of others' happiness. Something I'd rather didn't happen but is unavoidable. But it seems slightly strange doesn't it. I've always tried to make other people happy to any extent yet, when the tables turn, I feel guilty. It's odd.

I think it's accurate to say that I've upset a certain someone over the past 48 hours. And, although I'm incredibly sorry for doing it, I feel it was necessary in the long run. If I hadn't have done what I did, in my head, it would've created an impossible situation that wouldn't have benefited anyone in the long term. Nor would it have been fair on anyone involved due to reasons beyond anyone's control. I had to be honest for the situation to be resolved. The other persons involved were incredibly honest and so was I. Despite knowing that deep down it's probably not going to be completely resolved for a long while yet.  But that's something that I'm going to have to take in my stride when it happens.

I'm not happy with the fact I've upset someone majorly but, for what it's worth, it was the right thing in my mind.

And this blot on my happiness is not going to last forever. I know that sounds selfish but it's something to put aside as I return to uni and attempt to work on the next part of my 2014 plan. My cooking and my finances.

So what's the moral for this post?

There is a cost to your own happiness. And it's often someone elses. Sadly...