The Day We Killed God [Short Prose]

Do you remember where you were when they announced it? I do. I was at university. On my laptop in the library writing an essay on the Korean War. Listening to the BBC; I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was amazing, phenomenal. The joy, the cheers and the elation. We'd conquered one of the worst things to afflict the human race and now there was no stopping us. Because of that day, there wasn't anything we couldn't do?

Go to Mars? Let's do it.

Underwater cities? Let's do it.

Solve world hunger? Let's do it.

Self-tying shoes? Let's do it.

The day the announcement came was the day that the human race really found its feet. In this amazing moment we were united as a planet. The potential lives of every person on planet Earth grew exponentially and families would never be torn by disease again. Sure, there were other diseases that were around that we still intended to tackle but we'd found the freaking goldmine.

"All test trials were successful. Scientists moved onto human testing 5 years ago, testing over 100,000 sufferers and the results are conclusive. We've found it. We've found the cure for cancer". The UN Secretary General announced proudly. "This is truly a wonderful moment for mankind. This is the day we celebrate the human race moving forward into a new age and a new social-medical paradigm. This truly is the time to be alive".

And, while we had achieved something amazing, there was obviously a lot of cynicism as well. Mainly from religious groups who claimed that the cure was proof that the human race was 'playing God' and that this cure would only lead to more death and misery. Others claimed that perhaps the cure could only work on certain people while others would get worse and, as some people claimed, cancer would mutate to fight the cure.

All we knew was that this was a time of amazement. A time of wonder and a time of hope. Nothing could stop us now. I remember one of the scientists who synthesised the cure went on television to give an interview and I'll never remember the last thing he said during it.

"Today is the day we rose to the challenge, took on mother nature, and won. We took what's been given to us on this planet and we've used it to the best advantage. Now families won't have to go through the agonising pain of watching their loved ones deteriorate and become a shell knowing there's nothing they can do except stage a heart-rendering long goodbye. Nor will people with cancer have to worry about whether the day they wake up will be their last because now, if it is, it won't be due to the cancer. This is the day we took on nature and won. And this is the day we killed God".

That's an interesting statement, isn't it. "The day we killed God". Doesn't sound right, does it? How can you kill something you cannot see? Well, I suppose the cure for cancer taught us you can but even so, how can you kill something you cannot see? Especially something as grand as God is presented. But that's the question. Where is God?

A Christian will tell you that he's always with us or that he's always around us at once. But is God...a tree? Is God a car? Is God an iPhone 6? Is God a man? Is God a woman? Is God a cockroach? Who knows. That's the thing, no-one knows.  Because if God is this omnipotent being somewhere in the sky then we cannot logically kill him but curing cancer? But if God is the ultimate metaphor for the universe in general then how are we killing him by cure? Or is the cure the weapon itself? Lucifer's trident if you will?

If God exists, and I'm not saying he does or doesn't here, then the cure for cancer cannot logically 'kill God'. It merely removes an aspect of the idea of God. But then, by Bible logic, if God creates us and plans our lives our for us before we're born then he obviously planned the cure eventually? No?

It's just a strange and fascinating statement to make. A bold statement. One that annoyed the religious communities for sure. I remember the protests and the riots because of that statement and the hate that came from it. People of all faiths ganging up on this guy all because he denounced a deity that we,debatably, cannot see. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews and others all condemning this one man despite what he helped give to society. He helped give us the holy grail of modern medicine and the world started to turn on him. It's like that guy and the probe that landed on that comet a few years ago. His team made an amazing achievement, pushing the boundaries of human technology yet the world concentrated on his tacky shirt covered in scantily-clad women. It's the same principle, only with lexicon.

And that's what God is to me. A word. This is why I have a problem with that scientist's statement. Because, if God is just a word, you cannot kill a word. Just as you cannot kill an idea. I'm not saying the scientist was right to say what he said, nor am I saying he was wrong to. But that's all an idea is. Words. An idea is a hypothetical that becomes real once you bring it into reality yourself. If it never comes into reality then it only remains a thought of words in your head or words spoken out loud.

So maybe the cure for cancer was the day we killed God for some. But it could also be the day we brought God into existence for others. For some people, religion is a justification for their actions but for others it's a form of hope and belonging. And that's what makes this event so significant culturally. While the scientist's comments brought about some terrible repercussions, the cure also brought hope for many others. Who were thankful. Who believed that the cure and the scientists were a gift from God.

I'm not sure I believe either to be honest with you. But here's what I believe.

I believe that we have the cure for cancer now. That is fact. It may have been sent by God. This is an idea that many try to make real, to their credit. But what I also believe is that we didn't not kill God that day as a race because, as I've said, we cannot. But what we did do is create a common ground between everyone. And the future will hopefully look back on today will fondness and the start of a brand new era in human thinking. Forget religion. Forget God. Forget Atheism. Perhaps the future will look at this day and this event and go "this isn't the day we killed God. This was the day we created humanity".

There is one thing we haven't considered though...what if the cure itself is God?

I Tried Tinder For A Month...

Just call me Tinderbell.

Over the summer, I became aware of this phone app known as 'Tinder'. I was already aware of 'Grindr' and thought that this was a good idea. However, I wasn't aware there was another similar app. While my friends suggested I go on Grindr, I didn't feel I'd be much use on Grindr. So I decided, more for an experiment rather than anything else, I would try Tinder. Where, at the very least, I might have a chance at meeting someone.

For those who don't know, Tinder is an app whereby you put in 'discovery preferences' along with a mile range and they show you anyone within your parameters who are close by. People use this app either to make friends, find love or to find a partner for a one night stand. Or friends with benefits. I don't judge. If you like someone, you 'swipe right' and, if you're not interested, you 'swipe left'. There's a new feature called 'super-like' but I haven't tried that yet.

While I didn't get on in order to meet anyone, it was obviously in the back of my mind. But I already had other plans of what to do. If I ever got a match, I'd send a very bad joke just to see how they react. If they reacted well and wanted to carry on talking, fine. If they used colourful language to tell me to go away, also fine. Each to their own.

So I got it and made my profile look decent. Using both embarrassing photos as well as slightly better looking ones to throw a curveball.

After a month, this is what I've discovered.

- Tinder is surprisingly addictive. I've always been fascinated by the number of people in the world and this has kind of shown me how many people there are in a certain area. Even if a lot of them are after...illicit things. It's still nice to see such a diverse range of people though in such a comparatively short area. Very fascinating.

- I have a type. Most people I swipe right to tend to be awkward looking, ginger or look slightly geeky/nerdy. Sometimes, all 3 at once. After years of not thinking I had a type, I've evidently been proven wrong. I seem to be drawn to more geeky girls who are extremely socially awkward and have a more red tinge to their hair. I've known for some time I'm a sucker for accents so perhaps my type is a socially inept redhead from Ireland with a comic and Doctor Who obsession. Who knows. But there seems to be a pattern developing.

- There are a lot of people with very strange names. The variety of names on this app are phenomenal. They can range from foreign names to just downright bizarre ones. Obviously you get a lot of Claires, Victorias, Alices and things but when you find someone called 'Rocket' and 'Jessica-Falcon' that you start to wonder if they actually exist. With the amount of strange names on this I'm starting to wonder whether Bob Geldof has had thousands of illegitimate children! Not that it detracts from the person in hand but it is very odd to see some of the titles that come across your screens.

- People are very blunt on their profiles. People on Tinder don't seem to beat around the bush. While they are perhaps frugal with personal details, some put quite a lot on there. Not only that, some people are very blunt about what they're looking for. If they're looking for friendship, they'll say. If they're after something serious, they'll say. If they want to do a certain sexual position, chances are they'll say it. I genuinely saw one profile which had in its description "just looking for a wheelbarrow partner ;)". It's amazing what people put on this. People put this stuff and I'm there calling myself a professional jelly baby.

- A lot of people feel the need to cake themselves in make-up. I don't judge people unless they give me a reason to. Nor do I have a problem with these people. But I've always wondered why young ladies feel the need to literally cake themselves in make up in order to feel pretty. I know it's been the culture for perhaps 15 years to do so but, still, it is a little confusing. I imagine it has a lot to do with the fashion of the time as well as shows like TOWIE and Jersey Shore influencing societal perception of beauty. But, still, there's a lot of these people in Tinder. In fact, I'd hazard a guess that these ladies make up 70% of all Tinder female profiles. It's not a criticism or anything, I'm just saying. It's very interesting to see.

 - People do lie about their age but you can usually tell. There are people on Tinder who do indeed lie about their age. For the purposes of this month, I kept my parameters between 19-23 (my own age range) but there have been people who I've looked at and seen straight away that they're not 21 as they claim. What is interesting though, if you go on their profiles, many will admit their real age which, to me, seems somewhat counter-productive. I've come to the conclusion that most of them are about to turn the age they've put in their profile but are stipulating they are still a little younger for a time. But there have been some who have claimed to be 21 and are blatantly 16. Which worries me slightly but, hey, this is the 21st century?

- A lot of people on Tinder a much better travelled than me. The majority of people on Tinder either have photographs that contain endless selfies of them on nights out or with friends, or they are packed with photos from all across the world. Some hug elephants, some tombstone off a cliff and some hug African children. While I feel happy for them they've had these experiences, I can't help but feel jealous. And swipe left as a result.

- I've had 3 matches and they don't like my sense of humour. Admittedly, one of them was a friend at my uni and we did it to make each other feel better. But still, I've sent all 3 young ladies I've matched with a bad joke to see how they react. The first one, (a young lady by the name of Charlotte), I sent "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!". No response. The second one, (a young lady called Zoe), I sent "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!" Though she already knew the punchline. And made it clear she wasn't impressed at all. The third match, (my friend Kira), I sent "Do you have the Titanic soundtrack on your iPod? I will do, it's syncing now". Again, not impressed but she's used to my humour. I've come to 3 possible conclusions. 1, These ladies (with the exception of Kira) don't have a sense of humour. 2. They just wanted to flirt continually and I didn't submit to that. 3. (and the most likely), I'm just not that funny. Who knows.

- The men are pretty handsome. I'm open to the concept that one day I might meet a guy and fall in love with him, therefore I do not submit to a single sexuality. So, for a couple of days, I included men in my search just to see. While I wasn't attracted to any of them during that period, I can comment that they are aesthetically good specimens. If you're a woman or gay and on Tinder, I reckon you'll have fun trawling through the guy section. Just as much as guys and lesbians would have fun going through the female section. The best thing about Tinder is that it is very inclusive. There are no exceptions to Tinder. If you have a type, you'll probably find them on here.

- Finally, there will be people you knew from school and some of your friends on there. This both shocked me and didn't shock me at the same time. When I used it back home, I found a lot of people I knew from 2 local schools as well as good friends of mine. Some of whom I was genuinely surprised at. Today, I was using it and I found a friend from my uni on it, Someone who I genuinely didn't expect to find on there. Which was a nice surprise. But you will find people you know on there. So, if you're friends with them, swipe right. They'll probably swipe right for you too and it'll be an ice-breaker the next time you meet up. Plus it's another way to send stupid messages to your mates!

So, there you have it. My main findings about Tinder. I usually complain about the 21st Century but, for once, I've actually found a passing craze that's kinda fun. And a bit of harmless fun didn't hurt anyone. Right?

Until next time.