Good Things (Part Two)

He stepped back through the portal to his own time and shrugged off his jacket. Some dust flew off as his hand caressed the wool. The portal faded away, shrinking back into non-existence just as quickly as it appeared. It was a peaceful laboratory. I say laboratory. It was more like a garage. Yes. Garage is a more accurate description.

“Did it work?” A voice was heard to be saying. He looked up and saw a young woman there. Blonde, smaller than him, but beautiful for all intents and purposes.

“It has to doesn’t it?” He says in response. “Otherwise this reality wouldn’t exist?”

The woman nods and laughs in agreement.

“True”.

He walks past her and helps turn off the rest of the equipment. The woman looks at him and sighs.

“Answer me something?”

He looks up at her and nods.

“The date…was set to before we met…”

“So?”

“Why did you go back to that particular date?”

He stops and looks at her. She does deserve an explanation. He thinks about what to say and sighs before answering.

“Have you ever been at a point in your life where everything just gets to you? And I don’t just mean work, coursework, whatever, I mean EVERYTHING?”

The woman shakes her head.

“Well, on that date it did. And I went on a downward spiral. One that I nearly didn’t recover from”.

The woman nods but looks confused.

“How did you recover?”

He pauses and smiles at her.

“You just watched me do it…silly…”

The woman realises. She chuckles.

“I was going to say! Because that’s nearly 6 months before WE met and got together”.

“I know. I just needed to hear it was all going to be ok. By the one person who could truly understand what happened and know how it was going to turn out”.

“So it’s got nothing to do with the paradox surrounding it then?”

“Well…that too”.

They look at each other and smile. He walks up to her. They embrace.

“Truth is, you saved me. Back when we met I was…scarred. Scarred, scared and lost. I was trying to fit in with everyone and I was failing. But then I met you. And that all changed. There were times at the start where you annoyed me…upset me even…but ultimately you saved me. So I owe you everything. And I mean everything”.

The woman smiles. They kiss for a few moments. They then look to the machine that transported him back to the past.

“What are we going to do with this?”

“I’ll turn it off. We shouldn’t use it again. If the Government get hold of it then we’ll be in trouble!”

“Ok. I’ll put some dinner on. Carbonara?”

“Sounds great…”

They smile as she leaves the room. He looks at the machine and wonders for a moment. The places he could go. The people he could meet. But he was right. It was dangerous. What he did was dangerous enough. He’d better not risk it. He walked over to the main console and tried to turn the machine off. But it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t switch off. He tried again and again. Still nothing. He looked confused.

“What the hell?”

He checked the connections to make sure everything was in place. Everything was fine.

“Why is this not working?!”

“Because I’m here…”

He looked to the other end of the room and saw an old man standing there.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?!”

The man emerged from the shadowy corner. He looked strangely familiar. He realises who it is.

“I’m you…from the future…”

"I"

I see you. 

I see you wherever you are. 

I see you in the day and I see you at night. 

I’m always with you and I’m never with you. 

You may not always feel me but I’m there. 

I’m in all your dreams and I’m in all your nightmares.

the person who will turn your dreams into darkness. 

You may be dreaming of someone you care for. 

Maybe the person you love, at a picnic? 

Well I’ll be the one to put the knife to their throat and slice it open. 

I’ll be the person who kills your best friend in every way we know they fear and then I’ll kill you the same way.

I’m the person who tortures you every waking second you’re alive. 

I darken each day. 

I crush every soul. 

I poison every friendship you make. 

I turn each joke into insult and every insult into hurt.

I’m the one who whispers sweet somethings in your ear. 

Like “look...she’s upset now…look at what you've done…what a monster you are!” 

I keep your mind stable enough to survive but when the time is right, I take it all down. 

I’m the person you’re always fighting. 

Suppressing. 

I’m the person who laughs at you when you make a promise. 

I’m the person who reminds you of what it means to trust people. 

And why you don't.

I’m the person who reminds you of who’s really in charge. 

And that’s me. 

I hold all the cards. 

I hold every bad thing you ever did against you in the ultimate emotional blackmail.

And nothing you can do can ever change that. 

No matter how much good you do, no matter how many people you make happy or how many you help, 

I’ll still plague you with your failures, 

Your bad decisions, 

Your mistakes. 

And then I’ll make your memory remember things that didn't quite happen but seem plausible.

I’m the person who’ll let you feel all the hope in the world, and then I’ll take it away. 

To make you dangerous. 

I know your every fear, your every desire, your ever move. 

I know how you feel when you hurt.

I’ll make it 10 times worse.

I’m the person no-one wants to see.

I’m the darker side of your nature.

I’m always there.

Ready…

…Waiting…

Never Stop Running

He walked around the school corridors one more time. It wasn't his school. Well, it used to be but now it was someone elses. He used to be a pupil here many moons ago, but that was back in the early noughties when times were slightly different. And, when he came to think of it, before some of the kids' he's helping now were even born! Before they were even an idea! That was a strange feeling for him. He was in a borrowed place.

But now was the last time he would walk those corridors. His time had run out and he had to leave for good. Though, this was much easier said than done because he wasn't the only one leaving... The kids he was helping were leaving too as they all headed up to the dreaded BIG school. He totally understood their fear and dread as well as their excitement and joy. He'd been there. Many years ago still. He knew how it felt though the kids didn't understand that.

He looked around one more time as he slowly left for the exit. As he did, all kinds of memories flew around his head. He'd known the class he was with now for about 4 years helping them on and off for all that time. He'd effectively watched them grow up and, funny as it sounded, felt like a big brother to them. He would miss them somewhat.

He walked down the corridor, only to be greeted by a familiar voice. It was the voice of one of the pupils who he'd known before. He stopped and turned around to see her standing there. It wasn't her last day. She had 3 more days but he had to go. She stood there with her bag over her shoulder and white nike trainers on. She wasn't a chav in the making. Just kinda sporty. She smiled at him and said

"See ya Monday, yeah?"

He chuckled and shook his head.

"No. Not this time".

She looked at him confused.

"Why?"

"Because I'm off on holiday tomorrow. And I won't be here on your last day here. I would like to have been but, my holiday awaits!"

She looked at him slightly upset. He looked at her confused.

"What is it?" He asked her.

She walked up to him and looked up at his face, which was confused.

"I'm never gonna see you again. Am I?"

Suddenly, it hit him. She was probably right. They would never meet again. And this unsettled him somewhat. So much so, he couldn't lie to her.

"Probably not..." He said softly. "But maybe that's good?"

She looked confused.

"Good?! You've been here sometimes for four years! How is not seeing you again good?!"

This was a tricky question. He gave it some thought before crouching down to look her in the eye. He thinks he came up with the perfect answer.

"Do you know how old I am?" He asked her.

She gave it some thought.

"46?"

He looked confused.

"NO! I'm not 46. I'm 19 next week".

"Oh".

"I'm 18 and I have known you since I was 14. I first met you when you were 7 years old and I remember you when we first met. Crazy, manic, odd but you had a wonderful mind! I remember all of your class when you were 7! I absolutely loved being in your class! It was...an eye opener. And I came out of it with some amazing stories and I got to know some brilliant people like you. Then I came back again and again to your class to help you. Sometimes by request, sometimes not! But I was always glad when I knew I was in your class. Partially because you lot all knew my name so it was easier, but also because I knew how to deal with you all. I knew what you were like, I knew what you liked and you all knew what I expected of you. And watching you all go now, to big school, it..."

She looks expectant. He sighs.

"...It breaks my heart a little. I've watched you all grow up! And I feel so privileged to have been able to do so. It's just a little weird knowing I may not see you all again".

She didn't really understand the sincerity if his words but she realised that he was a little bit upset. She looked at him and tried to change the topic.

"Can I tell you something?"

He nodded.

"Of course you can! Anything".

She tries to find the words.

"I'm really scared..."

He looked confused.

"Of what?"

"Of big school".

"What are you scared about?"

"Everything. I'm scared of everything".

He chuckled and looked at her. She didn't understand why he was chuckling and looked a bit upset. He stopped chuckling and attempted to reassure her.

"I'm gonna give you some advice. I'm going to say it and what you do with it is your decision. But I want you to remember it if you can. Ok?"

She nodded.

"Big school isn't scary. It's TERRIFYING! But, it's also gonna be the best days of your life. Life will be easy for you for the next 7 years. And I'm not talking about the homework, the essays, the coursework, I don't mean that. I mean life generally. Sure you'll have relationships. Sure there'll be grown up problems and grown up arguments...but it'll be easy. Just don't think for a moment that everything will go your way. You'll make plans that won't come to pass. You'll have ideas that'll never see the light of day. But don't do what most people do and give up. Don't let it get to you. Just run. Run away from it and chase the future. Run towards the future. That future plan. That future idea. Just run. That's my advice. My advice to you for life and big school. Never...Stop...Running.

She smiles as she understands what he's saying.

"I like running..." She said.

"All the more reason to then!" He chuckled. He started to get up but she continued.

"Will I ever see you again?" She asked, looking quite sad at the idea now.

He smiled back.

"If I'm lucky..."

She smiled back.

"But I wish you all the very best of luck for the future. I know you'll do great. And I look forward to seeing you do so. Goodbye..."

She smiled back. He smiled once more and walked towards the door. She watched him leave the building before shedding a little tear. Like a big brother had just left home...

Four years or so later, she walked into the secondary school she'd frequented for the past few years and saw what she had for lessons today. It was the first day of the new school year and she was dreading GCSEs. But, just like someone she knew told her years ago, run towards the future. Which is what she was doing.

The day went by and it transpired that her first proper lesson of the new year was History. A subject she despised but only took to avoid Geography, which she hated more. She begrudgingly walked into the room and was greeted by a new man. A man she'd never seen before, yet seemed familiar. He turned around to look at her and smiled.

"Hello there...", he said, "Here for history?"

She nodded.

"Good. I was hoping you'd be here..."

And that's when it hit her. She remembered. A huge smile grew across her face.

"It's you!"

Her big brother had come home...

Brickwork (For New Students)

I put up this wall to stop the flood
I put up this wall to hold it back
I put up this wall to help myself
The brickwork crumbles.

I put up this wall to stop the hurt
I put up this wall to stop the thought
I put up this wall to block the past
The brickwork's crumbling...

I put up this wall to block home
I put up this wall to move forward
I put up this wall to divide
The brickwork's crumbling

I put up this wall to testify
I put up this wall to correct
I put up this wall to move ahead
The brickwork crumbles

I put up this wall for days like these
I put up this wall for days like this
I put up this wall for times like those
The brickwork crumbles

I put up this wall to stop the flood
I put up this wall to stop the hurt
I put up this wall to block home
The brickwork's gone...