Friday 7 June 2013
"I See You Everywhere"
I see you
I see you
I see you
I see you
I see you
I see you
And on my Tumblr
I see you
I see you
I see you
Aisha says as she scribbles out the last stanza of her poem. She stares into deep space for a moment for some kind of inspiration none came. She looked around her room for some too but came up short, until she passed a photo of her and Jackie together on that walking weekend when they met Jill. She looks at it, then back at the paper. She continues.
I see you
She looks once again at that photo. They're both smiling so happily that it makes Aisha smile for a moment. But then she goes back to the sadness. She knows how to finish off the poem.
I see you everywhere...
Thursday 6 June 2013
Aisha
It was a quiet night. Not much went on. Jackie and Aisha had
had a quiet night in in the flat because the night before, Jackie had been on
his date and he just wanted a night an after last night’s festivities.
Well, I say festivities.
They sat in front of the telly and watched Live At The
Apollo. Michael McIntyre was on and he was fantastic as always. Jackie was in
hysterics but Aisha wasn’t convinced. She was more of a Lee Evans fan and
thought that McIntyre was just silly.
“I don’t get this guy!” Aisha complained. “He just…camps
about everywhere!”
“That’s part of the fun!” Jackie responded gleefully. “It’s
just funny!”
Aisha still wasn’t convinced.
“I’ve seen cat videos funnier than this bloke!”
Jackie ignores this as he sips a bit more of his beer and
enjoys the comedy.
Aisha, however, was annoyed. Jackie had been on his date last
night but hadn’t said a peep about it all day. He’d very much kept himself to
himself and Aisha was gagging to know what happened. She would assume it went
well or went badly but Jackie had been in his same mood as always. Annoyingly.
So he wasn’t letting on at all. Secretly, Aisha wanted the date to go badly
because she was still head over heels for him. But there was another part of
her that knew that it went really well. As much as she wanted to know, she didn’t
want to force the issue. Instead, she just kept quiet. As always.
Aisha and Jackie had known each other for a number of years.
They were at secondary school together and were in pretty much the same classes
except for one. Aisha would not be seen dead in an A Level History lesson. Over
time they got closer and ended up at the same university together. Aisha was
studying Philosophy while Jackie was studying Politics. They lived together in
halls of residence for a year as well as living in student housing for two. All
that time, Aisha was in love with Jackie but Jackie never looked at her twice.
Instead, he found these really weird women who he had nothing in common with.
Before last night’s date, Jill, there had been two
girlfriends Aisha had experienced. The first was Mary Arnold. She was, in Aisha’s
words, “a total bitch”. She was a notorious cheater around the school and had
more partners per week than banker in a club in Soho. Mary and Jackie were
together for two months before Jackie finally put a stop to it. She’d cheated
on him numerous times. Something she’d stupidly revealed before they were about
to sleep together for the first time. Understandably, Jackie went mad and threw
her out.
The second girlfriend was Rani Travaldar. An Indian exchange
student to the university who was also studying politics. She came from a
respectable Indian family in New Delhi but she was very much a rebel. She’d
been brought up by strict parents who refused her to have any male contact
before the age of 21. That’s not a cultural thing. Just them. So Rani came to
the UK the first chance she got for two reasons. To spend a year in the UK to
help with her politics course back home and to have some kind of male contact.
Rani was a lovely young woman and very genuine, but she was slightly
provocative around her fellow students. She wanted male contact and, for a
time, didn’t really care who. Luckily for her she met Jackie who was very
understanding and, in Rani’s words, ‘the perfect guy’. They ended up sleeping
together a few times much to Aisha’s dismay and had a rather good relationship.
However, as the end of the year came, Rani decided she wasn’t going to come
back to England after finishing uni in India and decided it was better to end
the relationship. Jackie was devastated but realised it had to happen. They
ended on good terms and still talk. She’s now finishing uni in India and has
met a guy called Raj. She’s happy.
And so to Jill. Jackie met Jill quite by accident. Jackie and
Aisha decided one day to go hill walking for the weekend close to where they
lived. On the second day of walking they came to the top of a particular hill,
they encountered a woman who had broken her ankle while returning to fetch a
backpack full of water bottles. Jackie attended to Jill and stayed with her
until the air ambulance came. Jackie went to visit her to see if she was ok and
then they hit it off. She was only a year younger and still in university so
they were in proximity and got on really well. It was perfect. For everyone but
Aisha. Aisha hadn’t been in a relationship since she met Jackie. She’d had a
couple of one night stands…but they didn’t mean anything.
And so, back to the present, Aisha still couldn’t get the
details of the date out of Jackie. So she decided to leave it until he was
ready. Jackie seemed to be relatively happy now watching the comedy so it
seemed likely that the date went well. Aisha came to this realisation and
looked a little upset about it but carried on. That’s all she could do really.
She had that over-whelming feeling that she’s lost him for good.
As she was thinking this, Jackie’s phone went off. A text had
come through. Jackie read it and smiled. He gets up and walks towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Aisha asked.
Jackie opened the door and there was Jill. She stood there
very sweetly. Jackie smiled.
“Hey!”
“Hey!”
The date had gone well. Aisha felt uncomfortable now. Jackie
invited Jill in.
“So what are you doing here, Jill?”
“I just wanted to see you. If you’re not busy that is?”
“NO! Of course not! Aisha and I were just watching some
telly. Care to join us?”
Jill nodded.
“Sure! Hi Aisha!”
“Hi Jill!” Aisha replied through gritted teeth.
Jill sat down with Jackie and started to watch the telly with
them. After a few moments, Jill curls up into Jackie, who then supports her.
They look like a cute couple. Except to Aisha. She couldn’t cope with this. She
stood up.
“I’m a little tired. I’ll leave you two love birds alone!”
They all say goodnight as Aisha disappears towards her
bedroom. She turns a corner out of view and stops. She listens in to their conversation.
Jackie is the first to speak.
“I had a great time last night you know…”
“So did I. I love ice-skating!”
“Same. Maybe we could do it again sometime?”
“I’d like that…”
They stop talking for a moment. Aisha looks confused for a
second at the silence…but then she can hear them kissing. A tear falls down her
cheek.
She’s lost him again…
Wednesday 5 June 2013
"Smart/Casual"
“You can’t be serious”
“What? What’s wrong with it?”
“Are you kidding?! You look RIDICULOUS!”
In Aisha’s defence, Jack did look ridiculous. For some
reason, Jackie decided that he was going to go his first ever date wearing his
Doctor Who outfit. White shirt, black trousers, britches and a red bow tie.
“I don’t look ridiculous! This is geek chic! Besides, she likes
Doctor Who! She said so herself!”
Aisha wasn’t convinced.
“How did she say it?”
Jackie looked at her.
“Well…honestly!”
“And how did honestly look?”
Jackie attempted to do an impression of his date’s face when
she said she liked Doctor Who. It was a weird face. At least, it was when
Jackie was attempting it. Aisha sighs.
“Ok, but you still shouldn’t wear that!” Aisha demanded. “She’ll
be embarrassed to be with you!”
Jackie shakes his head.
“Oh come on, I doubt that. YOU like Doctor Who. Would YOU be
embarrassed to be seen with me in this?”
“If it wasn’t for a convention of some kind, yes!”
Jackie looks flabbergasted. He can’t believe what she’s just
said.
“But…but…BOW TIES ARE COOL!”
“Not in a date construct! Haven’t you got a black suit or
something? Did you guys decide on a dress code?!”
Jackie thinks.
“Not really no…”
Aisha looks at Jackie in despair.
“You have no idea what you’re doing do you!”
“What? This is my first date! Of course I don’t!”
Aisha looks at him. He’s hopeless.
“Where are you taking her?”
Jackie shakes his head. Aisha looks confused.
“What?”
“Nuh-uh. If you don’t like what I’m wearing, you won’t like
where I’ll be wearing it!”
“Oh come on. It’s not like you’d take her ice-skating or
something in that!”
Jackie looks at her. Aisha realises.
“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE MAD!”
“What?! I figured it’d be whimsical!”
“YOU’LL BE A LAUGHING STOCK!”
“I’ll be cool…”
“You cannot be that deluded”.
“Well, seemingly I am!”
The atmosphere in the room was getting tense. And a larger
argument was starting but neither particularly wanted it to. So they attempted to
compromise. Aisha looks at him.
“Look, you’re going ice-skating. Wear something normal.
Smart/casual if you’d like! She may well like Doctor Who but…take her to a
convention in that! Not ice-skating! It’s inappropriate!”
Jackie looks at her and sighs.
“Even though it’s the show’s 50th year?”
“Even though it’s the show’s 50th year. YOU see
the significance, she might too, but other people might not. They might just
think you’re being a weirdo. And you’ll make her embarrassed. Jill was it? Her
name?”
Jackie nodded. He knew that Aisha was making sense but he
didn’t want to accept it.
“But Jill likes Doctor Who…”
“That may be. But do you want your date to go successfully?”
Jackie nodded again.
“Of course I do!”
“Then get changed!”
Defeated, Jackie walked out of the room to get changed. Aisha
sighed and went into the kitchen to get herself a drink of water. She looked
into her glass. Her frown turned to sadness. She didn’t want Jackie to go on a
date with Jill. Because it meant she might not be able to have him for herself.
She knew the competition but she didn’t want to fight. For Jackie’s sake. She
looked into the glass and saw her feelings for him all across the ripples of
the water. Like some kind of weird reflection. She’d liked him for such a long
time but never found the right way, or the right time, to approach the subject.
And when she finally did…well…there was someone else.
After a couple of minutes, Jackie returned into the room
wearing black jeans, a red t-shirt and a leather jacket. Aisha looks annoyed.
Jackie smiles.
“Hey, Chris Eccleston’s outfit was much more socially
acceptable…”
Aisha thinks for a moment and shrugs.
“Do what you like…”
She leaves the room. Jackie chuckles to himself and walks out
of the flat. The door slams behind him. Aisha looks round one more to find
herself, once again, in an empty flat. She looks after Jackie longingly.
“One day…” she said softly, “one day…”
"Good Things"
He shut the laptop and stared into space. He was in the house
alone for the day and had all time to himself. But his day was about to take a
weird turn as he found out the girl he loved decided not to do anything due to
the fact that a relationship between them would be too hard. He understood what
this meant and, to an extent, agreed. He knew that this eventuality might
appear and he even prepared for it. But no amount of preparation would help
when it actually came.
So he stared into space and kept thinking about what could’ve
been. He saw how he was going to ask her out. He was going to learn the
sentence in her native language in an attempt to romance her while taking her
to a local viewpoint to show her the luscious views of his home county. But the
more he thought about it, the more tears started to form. He was so happy the
night before when his suspicions about her feelings for him were confirmed, but
now his happiness was shattered and his heart was broken. He’d waited a long
time for the day she said that she loved him too but it wasn’t to be. He was so
close, yet so far away...
As he thought about what could’ve been, the doorbell rang. As
much as he didn’t want to answer it, he did. He walked up to the door and
opened it to see who was there. A familiar looking man stood in front of him on
the doorstep. He recognised him but couldn’t place him.
“Hello”. The man said. “Have I come at a bad time?”
He looked at the familiar man and nodded.
“Good”.
The man said as he made his way into the house, pushing past him. He ran behind into their kitchen and stopped him.
“What? You can’t just walk into someone’s house like that! Who the hell do you think you are?!”
“Has your heart broken yet?”
He looked shocked and saddened at what the man just asked.
How could he know what just happened? He was outside…
“Yes…thanks for reminding me…how did you know?”
“Because I remember it clear as day! Like it was yesterday.
Or rather today…”
He looked confused. He shakes his head and looks at the man
once more.
“Who are you? And what are you doing here? Why have you come
now?”
The man smiles.
“I’m you. 5 years in the future. I’m you in five years”.
He shook his head and looked confused.
“Say that again…”
“I’m future you. You in five years’ time”.
He looked worried.
“No, you can’t be! Even if you were, wouldn’t there be a
massive paradox? You and I could create a hole the size of Belgium!”
The man shook his head in disbelief.
“This isn’t Doctor Who. As long as we don’t touch or change
the course of events, everything will be fine!”
“How did you get here?”
“Never mind how I got here. I’m here now. That’s what matters”.
He still looked at his older self confused.
“So WHY are you here? Why have you come at THIS moment in our
life?”
“Because I know how you’re feeling. I know that right now you’re
heart’s just been broken by the only person you’ll probably ever feel about the
way you do about her now. And I’ve come to try and ease your pain”.
“You said we couldn’t touch!”
“I’m not going to touch you! Jesus... I’m here to make you think about
things. Rationally”.
“Like you do?”
“I have reason to”.
“Are you going to tell me what happens in my future?”
“Good golly miss Molly no. I’m just going to…tease you”.
“I hate being teased”.
“I know. But this happened to me when I was your age. So the
paradox dictates that I do it to you to complete the cycle.”
He looked confused.
“Whatever. Just tease me already.”
The man smiles.
“You’ve waited a long time for this girl to tell you how she
feels about you, yeah?”
He nods.
“Well, she obviously feels the same about you! You know that
because that’s what you were told!”
He thinks for a moment. The man looks on.
“I don’t know how long she’s liked you. It could’ve been for
as long as you’ve liked her or it could be a recent realisation. But she still
does! That’s the important thing. It must've been a hard decision for her to come to as well... And feelings are funny. If you go out with
someone and break up, those feelings can go away. When you like someone and you
don’t go out with them, they’re much harder to get rid of…”
He realises the man is making sense.
“Now, I know it might be hard now…but things change over
time. Don’t give up. Not yet. If you want something bad enough…fight for it.
Stay in contact. Keep up the friendship and one day…it might work out. If it’s meant
to be…it’ll happen. I know that sounds clichéd but would people keep saying it
if it wasn’t the case?”
He looks down and thinks. The man’s making sense. And besides,
you can’t really argue with yourself because you share the same outlook. He
looked up at the man and smiles.
“You’re right. You know the right things to say you know…”
“Well”, the man said, “I’ve heard it all before!”
They chuckle. The man starts to walk out of the door.
“Wait!”
The man turns around once more.
“So…we get together…in the end?”
The man smiles.
“You’ve waited a long time. Good things come to those who
wait. It may seem like a long wait now…but…just go with it. Just keep being
there. And what needs to happen will happen”.
He smiles.
“But do we get together?”
The man chuckles.
“You mentioned Doctor Who earlier…so to that question I say
one word…”
He looks at his future self as he walks out of the door.
“Spoilers!”
The door closes. He runs to the door, opens it and looks
around. He’s gone. His future self has gone. He shakes his head and tries to
determine whether the experience was real or imaginary. Either way, he gave
good advice. And it would be the same advice his friends would give him later
that day as well. Either way, his heart was in a better shape than it was moments previously...
And as he fell asleep that night, he looked back on the mixed
day he had and he remembered the advice.
“Well”, he said, “they can’t all be wrong…”
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