He sat alone in his armchair listening to David Bowie. His
favourite armchair. The one he’d acquired nearly 60 years ago. It had lasted a
long time and had seen many different things. It had seen him move in with his
partner. It had seen him move in with her. It had seen them return from their
honeymoon. It had seen their first baby. And the second. And the third. It even
saw the various grandkids.
Anyway, the chair wasn’t important. It held sentimental value
but that’s all. What was most important was the man sitting in the chair. 89
years old and sad. He was a very sad man. He was sad for a number of reasons.
Firstly, he was in the house all alone. The house he and his wife had been in
since they moved in together during their 20s. His wife had passed away nearly
a decade previously and, when she did, it broke him. It changed him. He went
from a happy-go-lucky guy to someone who would rather be on his own. The moment
she died, it was almost like he died too.
His children have more or less given up on him now. They can’t
accept that his wish to be alone is actually a cry for help. They just think he’s
doing it for attention. Or he’s doing it to be difficult. They just send him a
card every birthday and Christmas. His youngest daughter visits him sometimes
but the others can’t be bothered. They see him as a burden and that he’s the
one pushing them away. Despite the fact, really, he just doesn’t know how to
ask for help.
His grandkids, however, haven’t given up on him. They can’t
understand their parents’ complacency and they do what they can to help their
elderly grandfather. Sadly, many of them have moved away now and have gone on
to do their own thing. Out of the 6 grandkids, only 2 live closer now.
The eldest is Charity.
She’s nearly in her 30s now. She works in Lincoln and has 2 kids of her own.
She’s a high flying lawyer and rarely gets the chance to come to Hampshire and
see her dear old Grandad. But she’ll never forget the time she sat on Grandad’s
knee and listened as he recounted the story of the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
(She realises now that he did use some artistic licence. By all estimates, it’s
highly unlikely that Harold Godwinson was killed with a Lightsaber).
The next oldest is Peter.
Peter is around the same age as Charity except he lives in Cardiff with his
husband and adopted daughter, Cara. He visits when he can but, being in Wales,
it’s hard for him. Especially as he works for the Welsh Government. But he
fondly remembers the day he went to the park with Grandad, Grandma and Charity
where he fell off the monkey bars after arrogantly claiming he could do all of
them. He remembers less fondly the fact that Grandad laughed at him
hysterically when he did fall.
Then it’s Terra.
Terra was originally born Tracey but adopted Terra after coming out as
non-binary aged 15. Non-binary, asexual and aromantic, they live a happy
existence in London. Despite the blatant generation gap, Grandad and Grandma
were far more accepting of their non-binary status than their parents or other
relatives were. They often spent time round Grandad and Grandma’s house as a
means of escape and Grandad would always do the same thing. Hand them a bottle
of Sprite and watch a terrible old comedy like Hot Fuzz or Arrested
Development. They don’t come down a lot now and it upsets them that they can’t
see Grandad as often as they’d like.
Sarah’s next.
The jetsetter. She’s just finished university yet she managed to get a good job
with a corporation that is based in numerous cities across the globe. She’s
been to Sydney, Dubai, Caracas, New York and so many other exotic places. She’s
currently in Beijing trying not to suffocate from the smog. She’ll never forget
the dinner lecture Grandad gave her about how China is a fascinating
socialist-capitalist society but has a lot of shortcomings. Something she’s
starting to experience for herself. Her Chinese husband doesn’t seem to mind
however.
Jack would
visit more if he could. But, actually, it’s Grandad who visits him. Jack lies
in the cemetery next to his grandmother where the family thought it best. Jack
was sadly involved in a terrorist attack while visiting Terra in London. Terrorists
opened fire in Waterloo station and Jack got caught in the crossfire. He was
one of the first to die and it ripped the family apart further. Not only for
the circumstances in which he died, but it was also because he died exactly 9
years after his grandmother. Grandad would never quite get over that. But, that
said, Grandad would always remember putting a cape on Jack’s back and fly him
around the room like a superhero. Grandad always hoped he’d like the Flash more
than Superman but “each to their own” he’d say. Grandma was far from impressed,
being a Batman fanatic.
This leaves Vicki.
The youngest. Vicki was 19 and was the least ambitious of all the
grandchildren. She never wanted to be an astronaut, a teacher, a scientist or
anything high-flying. She didn’t want to go to university or anything like
that. She just wanted to be a nursery school assistant and be a musician part
time. She got her love of music from Grandad and Grandma. While her sibling and
cousins would listen to the modern trash, Vicki would listen to the music
Grandad liked. She got more into Grandma’s music as she got older but she would
always prefer the music of people like Marvin Gaye and Freddie Mercury to
Nirvana or Biffy Clyro.
It could be argued that Vicki and Grandad got on the best out
of all the family combinations. And a lot of this is down to music. Music
connected them. They’d spend whole evenings discussing music, discussing
musical history and, on very rare occasions, Grandad would show her his vast
record collection. Weird and wonderful compositions ranging from the heavy
metal of Black Sabbath and Motorhead to the slightly more upbeat dance songs of
The Specials and Blondie. She also fondly remembers a time, when she was about
6 or 7, when Grandad sat her on his lap and they listened to the whole of Sgt
Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band in its entirety. She wasn’t overly fussed on
the Beatles but she always loved vinyl. When she was younger, she felt that
Vinyl was magic. Leading to her saying one day, aged 4, “please, Grandad, put
the burnt pizza on so we can hear the music!”
But Vicki’s visits filled Grandad with a lot of positivity.
And, for a while, he’d be like the man he was before Grandma died. He’d smile,
sing, dance, just be the fun loving grandad she remembers from when she was
younger. A man who now seems a stranger.
“Grandad, it’s only
me!”
“In the living room,
love!”
Vicki walked in and saw her Grandad in his usual position.
His favourite armchair, coffee on the table, The Guardian on the coffee table,
listening to another vinyl. This time, it was Bowie. Vicki put her guitar bag
down and walked over to the turntable to peruse the album. She picked up the
sleeve and nodded approvingly.
“The Rise and Fall of
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Good choice!”
Grandad smiled.
“Ziggy was the first
Bowie album I acquired. I had it on CD for a long time. But then your
grandmother borrowed it and, despite living together for nearly 60 odd years,
never gave it back!”
Vicki chuckled and carefully put the sleeve down. Suffragette
City came on and she suddenly felt the compulsion to dance. She started to play
the air-guitar, strut and do all the moves she thought Bowie would’ve made in
the day. Grandad laughed as she continued the show. She held out her hand for
him to join her but he refuses.
“Oh, come on Gramps! A
girl needs a partner!”
Grandad chuckles but continues to refuse. Vicki accepted his
refusal but did note that it was unusual. Usually, he’d jump at the first
opportunity to dance. Yes, he’d been moving more slowly in recent times, but he
normally made the effort. She loved their dances but she didn’t take it too
much to heart.
The song came to an end and Vicki took a deep breath. As she
does, Grandad points to the turntable.
“Vicki, love, could
you change it please?”
“Sure can! What do you
have in mind?”
“Could you put Ed
Sheeran’s ‘X’ in please? And skip it to ‘Nina’?”
“Coming right up!”
She does as he asks but notices that something isn’t quite
right with him. She tries to ignore this feeling.
“Isn’t it Ed Sheeran
that Terra likes?”
“Hmmm? I’m not sure.
How is Terra? Have you spoken to them recently?”
“Not for a while.
Aunty Isla says they’re ok though. Well, her exact words were ‘yes, Vick, SHE’S
fine!’”
Grandad scoffs in disgust.
“We raised your Aunt
Isla better than that!”
Suddenly, Grandad coughs violently. Ed Sheeran plays as Vicki
attends to him. Grandad stops after a few moments and struggles to catch
breath. Vicki can’t shake the feeling anymore that something isn’t right.
“Grandad…are you ok?”
Grandad slumps back into his chair and looks at Vicki. He
shakes his head softly and looks very sad. Vicki looks confused.
“How long have you
been feeling like this?”
“A few days now…”
“Why didn’t you say
something, you stupid old codger?”
“Because what’s the
point, Vick? I’m an old man, I’ve had my time”.
“So, what, you were
just going to sit here and listen to your records until you slipped away?”
“You and I both know
there are far worse ways to die…”
“That’s not funny”
“Who’s laughing!?”
Vicki thinks for a moment, looks back at the Ed Sheeran
record and then back at the man in front of her. She realises.
“Photograph…Photograph’s
next…you and Nan’s song…”
Grandad starts to cry as he realises how upset Vicki’s
becoming.
“Vick, please…”
“We’re going to get a
doctor and we’re going to get you the help you need!”
“There’s no cure for
old age, sweetie…”
Suddenly, the next song starts. Photograph by Ed Sheeran. The
acoustic guitar intro fills the room with a subdued atmosphere. Grandad starts
to cry a little more. Vicki looks at the pained man one more time and realises
there’s nothing she can do. She closes her eyes for a moment before opening
them once again and sitting cross-legged in front of him.
“Grandad…tell me about
that day?”
“Our wedding day? I’ve
told you that story so many times…”
“Please? Once more?”
He looked at her on the ground for a moment, closes his eyes
and then reopens him. When he does, he sees a little girl sitting in front of
him. The little brunette girl he used to have on his knees. He smiles and nods.
“It was June. We were
on a field in my hometown. We’d hoped for nice weather and, well, did we get
it! I stood at the altar with my best man and I was shaking like a leaf. Don’t
get me wrong, it felt right but I was a wreck. I never could understand why. We’d
been together for a few years so I couldn’t grasp why I was this nervous but I
was nevertheless. Suddenly, the music began and your Grandmother walked down
the aisle. I decided the night before I wouldn’t look back as she walked down
but, in that moment, I couldn’t not. I couldn’t not look at the beautiful
creature coming towards me. So I did. I looked. And I cried. She looked…amazing.
I can’t think of any word to do her justice to be honest. A long, flowing,
white dress. She looked just as nervous as I did but she was just as
determined. We wanted to make that commitment. And now was time, now was the
place. The service itself was particularly uneventful. Everything went as it
should. But it was the reception that I remember most. Because Photograph was
the first song we danced to. Just her and I on that dancefloor. We just danced
and it felt like it was just us. As far as we were concerned, no one else was
in the room but us…”
Suddenly, the memory goes fuzzy.
“And then…then…why…I
can’t remember…”
Vicki realises. She holds back tears as she watches her hero start
to fade away.
“Grandad, why don’t…why
don’t I put on Sam Cooke? We can have a sing song together?”
Grandad shakes his head violently.
“No…I need to remember…I
need to remember that moment…”
“Grandad, please…”
“NO. I NEED TO
REMEMBER! WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER!?”
Vicki puts her hand over her mouth. Grandad calms down a
little and looks at her.
“I’m so sorry, Vicki…take
my hand…”
She does so swiftly. She loses control of her tears and they
come pouring out.
“Vicki, don’t cry…”
“I don’t want to lose
you…you’re my hero…I lost Jack, I lost Nan and I can’t lose you too…I can’t…I
love you too much…”
“I love you too,
Victoria…”
She buries her face in his torso and starts to cry
uncontrollably. And with all the strength he can muster, he leans over and
strokes her hair. He kisses her head, smiles and starts to sing.
“You can fit me; Inside
the necklace you got when you were sixteen, Next to your heartbeat where I
should be, Keep it deep within your soul…”
Vicki starts to laugh and cry at the same time. He continues.
“And if you hurt me, Well,
that's okay baby, only words bleed, Inside these pages you just hold me, And I
won't ever let you go…”
Vicki starts to cry more. But she takes over.
“When I'm away, I will
remember how you kissed me…Under the lamppost back on Sixth street…Hearing you
whisper through the phone…”
She waits for the final line from him, but it never comes.
She looks up and sees him staring transfixed at the door. She looks at the door
and then back at him. She notices him smiling. She looks once more.
“Grandad, what are you
smiling at?”
He looks and sees his wife standing at the door, exactly how
she was when they met. All those years ago, He smiles and then cries as he
realises why she’s there.
“Grandad?”
“I’ll be with you
soon, sweetie. I promise…I’m coming”
Vicki realise who he’s seeing and starts to cry more. She
swallows her tears and looks at him once more. His wife walks over to him and
settles next to Vicki. She holds out her hand and caresses his cheeks. She
smiles sadly.
“You got old…”
He chuckles.
“You never did…”
Vicki tries once more to hold back tears as she realises what’s
going on. She sits and watches, her heart breaking with every second.
“I’ve waited so long
for you…”
“I’ve waited too. I
always made a second plate of food, always made up two sets of pillows, always
bought two drinks at the pub…”
His wife smiles.
“You always were a
sentimental old man…”
“I was a sentimental
young man too”
She smiles once more.
“Remember the ball?”
“Our first date.
Remember London?”
“We went to Hamley’s”
“We had milkshake”
“And dinner on
Whitehall”
They chuckle. His wife smiles sweetly.
“We can relive all
those memories. We can be together once more and do all those wonderful things
again. A second chance. Would you like that?”
“More than anything…”
“Then you have to be
ready…”
“I’ve been ready for a
decade…”
His wife holds out her hand.
“Then come…”
He nods, looks at Victoria and, with all the energy he has
left, he stands up out of his favourite armchair. As he stands there he turns
to his beautiful granddaughter one more time.
“Goodbye, Victoria…”
Vicki nods.
“Go, Grandad, she’s
waiting…you mustn’t keep her waiting…”
He nods back. He turns to his wife and holds out his hand.
She grabs him and pulls him into an embrace. His heart warms as he feels the
sadness of the past decade fade away in a single moment. It’s almost like time
has stopped yet gone back to when they were in their 20s. Full of promise, life
and ambition. It was like he was young again. He pulls away, softly puts his
hands on her cheek and kisses her. She smiles at him with the sweetest and
smile.
“I missed you…”
“Not half as much as I
missed you, girly!”
He notices his hands as he pulls them away from her cheeks.
They’re not wrinkled. They look almost unfamiliar. He feels his face and can’t feel
the wrinkles anymore. He can’t feel the ridges and canyons of experience. He’s
young once again. He chuckles and looks at her, the biggest smile he may have
ever smiled.
“Now we have eternity…”
“Then what are waiting
for?”
“GRANDAD!”
They look back for a moment and see Vicki frantically trying
to get Grandad, a crumpled heap on the floor in front of her, to wake up. She
can’t accept he’s gone. Grandad feels sorry for her in a way but, selfishly, he’s
got his girl back. His wife takes his hand and smiles at him once more.
“I love you…”
He smiles back. He's waited 10 long years to hear that from her again.
“I love you too…”
Then, somehow poetically, the vinyl finished.
Vicki sat by her grandfather’s body, processing what just
happened. That was more than anyone her age should have to go through but she
was glad she was with him at the end. What’s more, sad though she was she didn’t
get to see her, she was glad Grandma was with him too. Guiding him to whatever
was next for him. She sat alone in the now eerie house singing ‘Nothing Can
Change This Love’ by Sam Cooke to herself over and over again.
Their favourite
song.
However, she couldn’t bring herself to sing the very first line. “If I go
a million miles away…” She couldn’t get over the fact that he was with her in
the same room yet gone, God only knows where. She cried a little more and sat
in his armchair. Singing old songs as she did, hoping he’d be proud of her for
liking such tunes.
Now the armchair had seen everything.
